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Because wild creatures are on the brink of extinction so that there is no point in protecting them


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Mar 21, 2020   #1

Wild animals have no place in the 21st century...



Some people say that because wild creatures are on the brink of extinction so that there is no point in protecting them. I do disagree with this statement.

Save animals never is a waste of time. First, they are rare, unique, and limited to the world due to their particular origin. As a result of that, they should be loved, respected and maintained. Imagine these animals are your children, who to your perspective, always are the most valuable and significant thing in your world, and you will do everything to bring up and save them. Do the same things with wild animals. Second, they entertain us. Like other animals, wild creatures make us happy, relaxed and maybe, with their origin, they may be more attracted and cared?

Endangered species do not only diversify and popularize our world but also make a contribution to a country where preserves these animals. They make our world more beautiful and diverse, make the nation develops more in tourism and culture and honor its value heritage. A recent statistic from a university in Japan shows that the rate of visitors come to their country has increased due to swans, japan monkeys, and so on. Furthermore, they help scientists discover more things about medicine. Many reports have shown that some wild animals can produce their own cells or bacteria, which protects them from diseases and these compositions also proved to cure cancer and chronic diseases for people.

In conclusion, wild species play a very important role in many fields like agriculture or medicine and embellish our globe. They should be protected as soon as possible.

Holt [Contributor] - / 8,157 2307  
Mar 21, 2020   #2
Aside from the fact that you misrepresented the original prompt in your introduction paraphrase, you also wrote an essay that is 9 words under the word count. That means, your essay will receive points deductions for the missing 9 words. Which will have a heavy effect on your overall score. More importantly, you did not properly rephrase nor respond to the original prompt which is:

OP: Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your representation was:

Some people say that because wild creatures are on the brink of extinction so that there is no point in protecting them. I do disagree with this statement.

Note that there was no reference to extinction in the original prompt. Therefore, your paraphrase is incorrect. You also did not properly represent a measured response to the question. A possible correct presentation would have been:

There is a concern that the conservation of free roaming animals can be considered irrelevant in the 21st century. Therefore, the money used to shield these animals can be seen as being wasted. I strongly oppose this point of view.

Never change the discussion topic. You will fail in the TA section once you do that. Stick to the original discussion points. Do not include information that cannot be verified as a part of the original prompt. This error has cost you severely in the TA section where, I believe you cannot score better than a 1 because you did not properly rephrase the prompt and your question response was also improperly formatted.

Please remember that the paraphrase with response and the conclusion need to have a minimum of 3 sentences in the presentation. All paragraphs should not be more than 5 sentences also. So you will find additional points deducted because of the improper formatting of the paragraphs as well in relation to the GRA score.

Basically, the essay will not achieve a passing mark at this point. So it would be useless for me to review the other errors of the paper. Please try to submit a properly developed essay next time. One that has a minimum 250 words, but no more than 290 words, with 3-5 sentences per paragraph, composed of 1 topic sentence each. Once you show me you can do that, I will begin to review your exercise essays in earnest. Right now, I cannot do that because the essay will not pass based on formatting and response problems alone.


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