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IELTS: 'Women absolutely dominate in two fields' - male and female teachers


milamiller 4 / 6 5  
Aug 16, 2014   #1
The chart shows the percentage of male and female teachers in six different types of educational setting in the UK in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart represents the proportion of men to women working as teachers in 6 educational spheres, namely, nursery, primary and secondary schools, colleges, private training institutes and universities in the United Kingdom in 2010. Overall, it can be seen that woman outnumber men in this type of career.

Women absolutely dominate in two fields - nursery and primary school (the amount of females reaches more than 90%). The number of men and women employed in secondary schools is almost equal. As for college, both genders own 45%. Beginning with the private training institutes the number of women employed starts to decrease and men tend to dominate (approximately 49% of females and 51% of males ). Regarding to universities, there are much more men working in this field of educational setting than woman (around 70% of males).

To sum up, it is clearly seen that women prefer working at primary education institutes where as men choose teaching at higher educational settings.


  • The chart

ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 672 148  
Aug 17, 2014   #2
There are several issues with your essay. First of all, you need to classify the data given in a table, chart, etc., then allocate one paragraph to each category of results. Organization of data is really really important. Second of all, you HAVE TO compare data to each other. How much sth is bigger or smaller than sth else. You also need to use better vocabulary, avoid any repetition. Please, pay attention to the time and place as well. And finally, use transitions to connect sentences to each other; For example: "interestingly the graph shows ...", "the table is indicative of the fact that...", "The graph also indicates that...", "The results revealed ...", and the like)

Hope you find the comments helpful,
Good luck. Cheers, Ahmad
ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 672 148  
Aug 17, 2014   #3
One more thing. Please check the words "dominant" and "dominate" with your dictionary to understand their differences :) In some sentences u could use "dominant" instead of "dominate", in this way u could avoid repetition.
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,195 459  
Aug 18, 2014   #4
The bar chart represents the proportion of men to women working as teachers in 6 educational spheres, namely, nursery, primary and secondary schools, colleges, private training institutes and universities in the United Kingdom in 2010. Overall, it can be seen that woman outnumber men in this type of career.

Write an introduction and an overview in separated paragraphs .

Well, let me give a try for this area:
The bar chart shows the proportion of men and women working as teachers in six different types of educational institutions: nursery, primary and secondary schools, colleges, private training institutes and universities in the United Kingdom in 2010.

Overall, female teachers prefer teaching in between early childhood and secondary setting. However, male teachers are more likely to pursue a teaching career in higher-education institutions.
OP milamiller 4 / 6 5  
Aug 19, 2014   #5
ah_zafari

Thank you for your help :)
I will follow your instructions to improve my writing skills
best wishes, Mila.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Aug 25, 2014   #6
The bar chart represents the proportion of men to women working as teachers in 6 educational spheres, namely, nursery, primary and secondary schools, colleges, private training institutes and universities in the United Kingdom in 2010. Overall, it can be seen that woman outnumber men in this type of career.

Take the second sentence into a new para. Your approach should ideally include an Introduction, Overview and Detail Paragraphs. In the Overview, discuss very obvious trends (what you've done is fine,but lengthen it a bit more ) very briefly without the support of data or statistics.

Women absolutely dominate in two fields - nursery and primary school (the amount of females reaches more than 90%).teaching where the females record more that 90% of total number of teachers.

As for college teaching, both genders own record 45%.50% each.
You cannot afford to make mathematical errors in this task :D
vincentfreeman 7 / 20 2  
Aug 25, 2014   #7
Nice paragraph! I really admire your writing skills despite some errors as mentioned above
SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Sep 13, 2014   #8
Overall, it can be seen that woman outnumber men inthis type of career

This is not clearly referred.It is also not fair while the graph shows man's worker outnumber women in University and Private training institute.

To sum up, it is clearly seen that women prefer working at primary education institutes where as men choose teaching at higher educational settings.

Please kindly re-check, women also record a higher number than than of the men counterpart in nursery and pre-school's field.


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