whether the industry such doctors, nursing and teaching should
receivedreceive a higher salary than sports and entertainment
Although many people subscribe to the belief that doctors
the sporting and amusing players are t
he sameas important as doctors
live a better
livelife thus many people are more willing choose to work in the former fields
the young people will choose to learn
If people worked in doctors, nursing and education are paid more than sports and relaxation, thus many people are more willing choose to work in the former field, as a result, the young people will choose learn the relative major in order to get a high salary job when graduated, however, when the demand excess the offer, a high unemployment are ensuing to happen.
This sentence has some structure issues. You should devide it into shorter sentences.
Overall, I think your opinion was stated quite clearly, but you should pay more attention to grammar and vocabulary.