Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 7

IELTS-GT (Task-1): You are working for a company. You need to take some time off work


Naveed786 8 / 21 4  
Mar 20, 2014   #1
Dear Friends,
I would be grateful to you all if you could review my letter from all perspective, including " Task Response, Coherence and Cohesion, grammar, etc.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter:
- Explain why you want to take time off
- Give details of the amount of time you need
- Suggest how your work could be covered while you are away

Dear Ali,
I am writing to request you to grant me 01 week unpaid leave.Actually, it has been a while, I haven't been able to take my wife and son to a adventurous place where they can enjoy their leisure time by visiting new places and do some recreational stuff. This summer my son's school is announcing holidays starting from 10th of July to 17th of July. My wife is a school teacher at the same school and will be getting off at the same time. Therefore, I want to avail this opportunity by taking leave for a period of 07 days i.e. from 10th July till 17th July.

These holidays will allow me to bring lost happiness back to my family. I am planning to take my family to Abu Dhabi & Dubai, where we will have an exciting and amazing time. My son is a great fan of Formula-1 race, and a Formula-1 race is going to be held at Abu Dhabi on 14th July. Moreover, my wife is keen to see the world's tallest building- Burj Khaleefa located in Dubai, and it is very near to Abu Dhabi. This trip will be a marvelous visit for our whole family.

I understand the critcality of my project as it important both for the Company and the Client. I want to give you a full assurance that in my absence Mr Johnny will be looking after my project as I have already been keeping him in all emails since beginning. I have also explained him the current status of the project, and he is also confident and comfortable with this responsibility. He will keep you updated in my absence and will ensure that all planned activities are finished as per project schedule.

I would be grateful to you if you could allow me to take 07 days unpaid leave starting from 10th July till 17th July. This will be the golden time opportunity for me and my family.

Yours sincerely
Naveed

niesaysi 16 / 284 83  
Mar 20, 2014   #2
I am writing to request you to grant me 01 week unpaid leave.Actually, it has been a while, I haven't been able to take my wife and son to a adventurous place where they can enjoy their leisure time by visiting new places and do some recreational stuff. This summer my son's school is announcing holidays starting from 10th of July to 17th of July. My wife is a school teacher at the same school and will be getting off at the same time. Therefore, I want to avail this opportunity by taking leave for a period of 07 days i.e. from 10th July till 17th July.

As far as I know, you have to greet the addressee first with "Have a good day!" Good day!" before going down with your concern.

I would like to request in your good office to grant me a one-week unpaid leave, for I will be attending my wife and son for a summer vacation. -- I think this sounds more positive. In the first paragraph, just mention your purpose and indicate the reason. Just expand it in the next para.
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Mar 20, 2014   #3
Dear Ali,

Well, you are supposed to write a letter to your manager and therefore it is better your letter take a more formal tone as it is something to do with your office or work place. So, "Dear Mr Ali" would be more appropriate instead of "Dear Ali" in this case, even in some officers employees call each other in their first names.

I haven't been able to take my wife and son to a adventurous place where they can enjoy their leisure time by visiting new places and do some recreational stuff

Well, the main idea is that you have not been able to spend some quality time with your family for sometime and you wish to do so by taking them to this place. Give more focus to the reason which is that you want to be the family.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Mar 21, 2014   #4
First, I have an admin request :)
You should open all IELTS essay threads in Writing Feedback forum which is the most appropriate forum for IELTS, TOEFL and GRE essays. (This has been opened in Grammar Usage and I moved it to the Writing Feedback)

Well, you are supposed to write a letter to your manager and therefore it is better your letter take a more formal tone as it is something to do with your office or work place. So, "Dear Mr Ali" would be more appropriate instead of "Dear Ali" in this case, even in some officers employees call each other in their first names.

Yes, I agree with Pahan. This letter should be written under the formal or semi formal letter category.

Formal To someone you have not met, whose name you don't know
Opening Ending
Dear Sir / Madam Yours faithfully
Semi-formal To someone you may or may not have met, whose last name you know & use Dear Mr Brown,
Opening Ending
Dear Ms Stone Yours sincerely
Informal To someone you know well, whose first name you know and use Dear John
Opening Ending
Dear Anita Best regards/ Warm wishes
OP Naveed786 8 / 21 4  
Mar 21, 2014   #5
dumi, pahan and niesaysi.
Thanks for your positive feedback. I will take care next time.
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Mar 22, 2014   #6
These holidays will allow me to bring lost happiness back to my family

I really need a break to have more time with my family and have some family moments with them.

I understand the critcality of my project as it important both for the Company and the Client. I want to give you a full assurance that in my absence Mr Johnny will be looking after my project as I have already been keeping him in all emails since beginning.

I also understand the importance of completing my projects on time which crucial to both the company and the client. However, I have made arrangements with Mr Johnny who would be in charge of them during my absence. Mr Johnny is a very reliable officer on whom I place lots of confidence and trust. Further, I make myself available for urgent matters via emails and skype, if necessary. Therefore I can give you an assurance that the work would not be disturbed by my taking leave.
OP Naveed786 8 / 21 4  
Mar 23, 2014   #7
Thanks pahan


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS-GT (Task-1): You are working for a company. You need to take some time off work