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Essay about working from home - a new trend these days

kiseki 2 / 3  
Mar 3, 2023   #1
Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible.

Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Thanks to the advent of technology in the modern world, the Internet recently has become more reasonable and accessible for everyone. Therefore, more and more people are using the Internet as a means to work and study from home. In my viewpoint, I regard this development as a beneficial transformation in this 4.0 era.

Firstly, the increasing number of online users will indirectly lead to better air quality. Since working from home just needs a latop or a tablet with social networkings to communicate with others, it helps reduce the numerous amount of exhausted fumes from transportation like motorbicycles and cars as well as industrial activities. This has been proved in the epidemic of Covid 19 when some reports from China have shown the positive data of atsmosphere with a decline by around 25% of carbon dioxide in that days.

Secondly, working or learning from home brings much convenience for users, such as time-savings. Instead of spending hours and hours during traffic congestion when commuting to work, people could utilize that time for doing other things. Take a housewife who is also a white collar as a typical example, she could not only use that time for doing the housework or taking care of her offspring but also have enough time to persuade her career via online platforms.

In conclusion, working and studying from home creates a number of benefits for users as it will result in a better air to live in and save plenty of time. Also, I predict this development may become a trend in many nations in the next few years.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,686 4759  
Mar 4, 2023   #2
The prompt restatement is very good and quite compelling. Your opinion is clear and varied in presentation. It is an exercise in effective word play. However, the same cannot be said for the reasoning paragraphs. That is where the reduced scoring may come from in terms of C+C considerations.

2 aspects for discussion were presented in the original prompt. The work from home and home schooling discussions were presented as the basis for the technological discussion. Therefore, your positive considerations should come from each aspects, presented in individual paragraphs, but using transition and connecting links towards the end of the first reasoning paragraph, then from from second paragraph going into the concluding summary.

Sentence formation also needs work since the second paragraph does not meet the minimum 3, maximum 5 sentence requirement per paragraph. This is a run-on paragraph which is not acceptable in academic and formal writing settings. The opinion paragraphs are not well developed either and lack further explanatory sentences to achieve full clarity and a convincing paragraph statement.

While the essay is well written during the first read, succeeding reviews will prove that the error was written in a rush and very little idea development in relation to scoring needs were actually completed by the writer.
OP kiseki 2 / 3  
Mar 5, 2023   #3
So if I write it again, where will I put my new essays, in this comment? Yes, but you must make it URGENT for a new reply.

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