Hi guys, this is my essay on the IELTS academic writing practice. My target score is 8 and above for master degree program application, the question is:
In the past, most people worked for small businesses//, while more people now work for large businesses.
What are the advantages and disadvantages of working for large businesses?
Here is my answer, any advice is welcome, thanks in advance!
"The rise of large business sectors has changed the employment patterns of people from working for small companies to larger ones. The major merits of working in large businesses may be related to more opportunities while its drawbacks concern the issue of instrumentalization of employees.
There are several benefits to working in large businesses. First of all, well-established management methods could ensure that all employees with the same conditions have equal treatment to a large extent. For example, in terms of personnel adjustment employees who have similar work performance will be considered a promotion equally regardless of race or gender. Moreover, large companies probably provide more opportunities and better platforms for employees' self-development and growth. In other words, people working in large companies may frequently face new and tricky challenges that would give them precious experiences in their career development. Furthermore, large companies are more likely to be well-functioned and have a long history. Thus, they are more robust in facing crises compared to small businesses. For employees, a stable job is a major attraction.
While there are several advantages to working in large businesses, it is important to consider the disadvantages. The production routines and business categories in a large company are normally settled. Most of the work employees do every day may be repetitive and focused on enhancement rather than invention. Thus, working in a non-creative department in a large company may be dull. In addition, the labour division in a relatively large business tends to be well-fixed and the mobility level is relatively low. People working in a large company may be assigned to very specific and trivial tasks. As a result, they may not be fully developed in terms of working abilities, which may be adverse if they want to change career paths or just find another job.
To conclude, large companies could provide employees with better opportunities and larger platforms, while they may show the inclination to instrumentalize employees."
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 Why did you write the response in quotation marks from beginning to end? That is unnecessary in a task 2 essay. You just need to write the essay in block format, nothing more, nothing less. You may also want to consider writing 300 words to help you stay within the 40 minute writing allotment so that you can have a few minutes to review your work before submission. You missed some mistakes in your writing because you did not proofread the paper prior to submission. Those small errors can add up and cause you to fail the test you know. Always leave at least 10 minutes to review your work in case changes and improvements need to be applied.
