People who live in large cities face a range of problems in their daily life
In today's world, urban life has been associated with many persistent issues that lead to city dwellers having to experience various concerns in their day to day activities. In this essay, I will discuss the causes and solutions for this situation.
At present time, the huge number of people settling in metropolises face two main problems, one of which is traffic jams when commuting. Indeed, many mega-cities suffer from overcrowding due to the amount of transports in operation that overloads the current infrastructure. For instance in Hanoi, despite having about five million inhabitants, many roads are not big enough for one who is moving, especially in rush hours. As a result, people often have to refrain from traffic congestions. Moreover, the contaminated environment also is a factor that worsened the quality of life in mega-cities. Emissions from transports, garbage and even light make the environment in cities worse than ever. Therefore, despite being approached with many modern technologies, dwellers in metropolises have to face the risk of getting sick from environmental pollution.
To combat those challenges, governments should consider strategies to modify that situation. To begin with, extending the roads and improving the quality of public transports will partly decrease traffic congestion when the number of vehicles is reduced. On the other hand, this solution has to take a long time to materialise, spending huge funds from taxes and few people want to take a bus instead of using their own vehicles.
In conclusion, people who live in big cities have to face several problems that influence their daily life. In my opinion, governments around the world should discuss and modify the issues in many metropolises.
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The opening statement is not acceptable as a prompt representation. While it did an ok job of presenting the discussion foundation, it did not provide direct responses to the 2 questions that are the basis of the reasoning discussion. It does not establish the correct topic + question responses that are required to meet the task accuracy and writer's opinion scoring considerations. It will receive a failing mark due to these missing criteria.
When indicating that there are 2 main problems, these problems must be presented in the anchor topic sentence and explained via transitionary sentences within the same paragraph. The writer incompletely lists the problems and fails to transition the 2 topics properly in the same paragraph. This resulted in a less than cohesive paragraph presentation for which deductions will be applied. The discussion paragraphs are basically disconnected in presentation when the question requirements are fully considered.
Additional problems arose in the second reasoning paragraph where only the problem of commuting received a solution but not the problem of Health hazards. To avoid these score lowering ommissions, it is important that the writer learn how to discuss this in the proper manner that is, for every paragraph, he must use: Problem + Solution for the paragraph presentation. By presenting a problem and the corresponding solution, he will not forget to discuss any related topic. It will also help create a far more cohesive and coherent discussion presentation worthy of a higher scoring C+C mark.
The first thing is the misbalance between 2 bodies: extending the roads and improving the quality of public transports will partly decrease traffic congestion when the number of vehicles is reduced. For this sentence you should separate it into 2 : first of all, extending the roads and improving the quality of public transports may help to alleviate the concerns of the public. Since they may decrease traffic congestion, there will be fewer accidents as well as the postponement of people's daily activities, which, in the process, relieves the unnecessary stress posed on citizens.
The second is the conclusion : you should summary what you have analyzed in 2 paragraphs like: while X causes the problem, it could be solved by Y.