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(Ielts Wrting Task 1) The rate of male and female candidates who passed the driving test

kiseki 2 / 3  
Mar 5, 2023   #1
The chart shows the percentage of women and men in one Asian country who passed when they took their driving test between 1980 and 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The bar chart illustrates data on the rate of candidates passing the driving test in terms of both sexes in a nation of Asian over a period of thirty years, from 1980 to 2010.

From an overall perspective, it could be seen that the percentage of male and female drivers completing their examination witnessed an upward trend during the time span. Also, women outnumbered men in the number of people who succeeded in the driving test over the surveyed time.

As shown, approximately 48% of women owned a driving license in 1980, which was about 20% higher than men. Then, the percentage gradually increased by around 5% in 1990 before reaching a peak at nearly 69% in 2000. 10 years after that was the period of time that the figure fell slightly to 65%.

Regarding men, only 28% of men passed the driving test in 1980, after which it underwent a leap to around 50% over a 20-year course. It is also worth mentioning that the percentage remained stable from 2000 to 2010.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,744 4514  
Mar 5, 2023   #2
The summary overview is confusing to read. There is too much information in a single sentence that creates confusion for the person reading the presentation. Consider dividing each idea or information presentation for clarity. One sentence for each idea highlight. That is how a simple sentence is created. I know you were trying to represent a complex or compound sentence here but all you succeeded in doing was creating a run-on sentence that could result in a failing GRA score for that paragraph in the preliminary scoring section.

Do not rely solely on a comma to separate your ideas in sentences. The constant use of a comma, results in confusing sentence presenations in the same manner that a run-on does. Each paragraph must contain no less than 3 sentence for it to gain a minimal scoring consideration for each section. Writing 5 individual sentences per paragraph would maximize the word count and scoring effect overall.

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