Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 5


WRITING TASK 2: Every year several languages die out.



trangngth00 1 / 1  
Jul 31, 2017   #1
Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

disappearance of languages



Language is the most important factor in communication. However, it is true that every year, several languages die out. Some hold the belief that they do not have to concern about it due to the fact that life will be more comfortable when fewer languages are spoken in the world. I would say that I strongly disagree with this opinion because of its possible negative effects on our lives.

Language contributes to our lives in several ways. Apparently, language is the identity of a race. Every race in the world has its own language. It should be learnt by each individual so that they can pass on their particular language to their offspring. A research shows that not all Vietnamese children born abroad can talk with their relatives and friends in Vietnamese. Therefore, if people do not take any effective measures to reduce the disappearance of languages, they will soon end up with more and more languages.

Undoubtedly, fewer languages lead to the fact that cultures and traditions will eventually lost in the near future. Language of a region represents its cultures and traditions. They can only be learnt through language. Harshly, without learning language, they will be forgotten by themselves. Thus, if languages die out, as a consequence, these moral value will disappear.

In conclusion, I would agrue that the disappearance of languages should be considered correctly because of its unexpected detrimental impacts on our lives. There should be more solutions to tackle this problem which is certain to arise.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15385  
Jul 31, 2017   #2
Trang, when you are asked the extent of your disagreement, the last line of your outline paragraph should be "I disagree with this opinion due to several reasons to be discussed below." Your opinion is not warranted in the outline paragraph because that is only meant to be used to present the order of discussion of the paragraph topics. It does not leave room for an actual opinion discussion. That is always fully presented and discussed in the later paragraphs.

You cannot conclude an essay with an argument. An argument requires the additional presentation of facts which cannot be done in the concluding summary paragraph. So your essay only has a personal opinion statement at the end. It is also, an under developed personal opinion because it does not have any supporting information to assist in the claim that you are making through your argument. This does not qualify as a concluding statement. A concluding paragraph / statement just summarizes the preceding discussion in the same manner as the opening statement. Your essay doesn't do that so expect to be marked down for that missing paragraph.
okorobiadimma14 6 / 82  
Jul 31, 2017   #3
Trang, as pointed out by Mary, the last line of the outline paragraph should act as a transition statement that highlights the points you will discuss in the subsequent paragraphs to backup the extent of your disagreement with facts. This simple step will inform your ability to make an interesting and organised argument. I must commend your grammar skills and the use of transition words. However, as addressed already, your concluding paragraph did not add up at all. If you modify the introductory paragraph and concluding statement, I think your essay will really read better. Your thought is cool already.
OP trangngth00 1 / 1  
Aug 1, 2017   #4
Thank you very much. ^^ I will be more careful with these points.
hi021132 6 / 11  
Aug 1, 2017   #5
Hi, I am a bit confused with the idea included in the second paragraph because I do not understand what is the actual problem and effect of disappearance of languages. I think there should be more elaboration on the point of identity of race. I hope these opinions can help.


Home / Writing Feedback / WRITING TASK 2: Every year several languages die out.
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳