IELTS Writing task 1 : Why young executives are stressed at work and the consequences.

corollaries of stress at work

The table show the changes in percentage of causes of stress in young executives group. Example of health problems induced by stress are listed.

The table clearly present work overload is the most decline cause of stress compare between year 1984 and 1900, from 57 percent to 89 percent. The cause of stress because of lack of power and influence decrease 12 percent from year 1984 to 1990. The most notable increases in percentage of cause of stress is work-related travel, 29 percent increase from 16 percent in year 1984, to 45 percent in year 1990. Interpersonal relations rise from 15 percent to 31 percent from year 1984 to 1990, as a cause of stress.

In addition, stress cause or exacerbated many health problems, which include muscular pain, heart disease, digestive problems, sleep problems, depression, obesity, autoimmune diseases and skin conditions, for example eczama.

Stress of work in young executives cause numbers of health problems, and it is apparent from the table work-related travel is becoming the most major cause of stress.

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  Question
  

Why did you use "cause or exacerbated"?
In my opinion, I think you can use " cause or excacerbate"

Hai @guan721

In first paragaph you should put overview statement which describes the highlight of the graph given.
Then in second paragraph, you can write about the cause of stress that increasing and in the last paragraph write about the decreased one.
You should also make a paragraph which contains of minimum 3 sentences.

Wish us luck :)

You should add an overall paragraph after the introduction and one more body paragraph (because the third paragraph seems unnecessary). Besides, you could list some example of health problems caused by stress in the last paragraph.