Young people should spend time on traveling before beginning their studies

I agree with the statement that young people should spend time traveling before beginning their university studies, so that young people can have more life experiences that allowed them to prepare their future. Often time, the elders think that the youth should work harder on their initial year, especially on their first year of college; however, form my point of view, I believe the youth should cumulate their life experiences by traveling to different countries. Throughout the movie If you can catch me and the my personal experience, you can see the reason why I agree with the statement.

The move If you can catch me took place at LA, the protagonist was born in a fortunate family; however, things had started to change since he was only sixteen years old. His mother deforced with his father and the his father couldn't afford his college fees, so the protagonist decided to leave his home. He had became an illegal polite and have been to many different countries, he learned a lot of different cultures that the teenagers who were same ages as him don't know. By the end of the movie, he went back to the college, and became a teacher who taught Human Geography. This movie is one of the reason why I believe it is a good thing to spend time traveling before the start of the college studies. You cannot predict what will happen in your future life.

The other example is my personal experience. Before i went to college, i planed a lot of work to do during my summer vacation after I graduated. One day, mom asked me to go on a business trip with her, and I went with her. Therefore, I went to France with her, I realized a fashion designer's life is not as good as I thought it is. Two months later, as I get back to get ready for my college studies, I understand so many concept and knowledge that you cannot learn at school. By that time, i believe it is always good to travel before the beginning of the university studies.

So as you can see, the movie If you can catch me and my personal experience show that going out for a trip before the university studies being is a good opportunity to lean and it is a chance for students to realize the concept of life in a different perspective.

You state your view clearly in the beginning, but it will better for your intro to follow this approach; Hook: a sentence catch readers' attention; Background: restate the prompt; write thesis statements which will be explain in body paragraph.

Probably, this approach can help you to structure body paragraph;
1. Topic sentence; giving the main idea of the paragraph
2. Example to support the idea.
3. Explain the same idea a bit more
4. Alternative what would happen if people did not do the example
5. Example to illustrate the main idea in sentence four.


Here, in conclusion paragraph, you should restate the thesis statements and give your own opinion or suggestion.

Yes, this is a better approach as the introduction is meant for introducing your topic to the reader. By stating your opinion as you open the essay, you are making an assumption that the reader already knows what you are going to write. The more acceptable way is to assume that the reader knows nothing and tell him what you are going to write about. So you should state your opinion just before you are concluding the introduction.

Write with upper-case letters


As a concluding signal, this phrase is not appropriate. Write: In conclusion,