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ESSAY: NOWADAYS YOUNG PEOPLE ARE MORE WILLING TO HELP OTHERS?


headshot0313 7 / 15 1  
Dec 29, 2012   #1
Thx~~~

The most familiar analogy to young people is often the sun at 8 o'clock, for they are the most energetic and kind generation among human beings. However, their energy and kindness is less likely to be delivered to others, for they would find that not only the social atmosphere but also their own time issue would be the blockages for them to do so.

Have you ever seen the spectacular scene in the career fair? As the population is peaking in recent years, finding a place to work is becoming harder for many young adults. In the past, those who have undergraduate degree would probably be placed at a relatively hight position, in today's generation however, all the undergraduates are facing the same question: unemployment. Thus they must spend more time, actually a big part of their time to prepare for themselves, to compete with others, and finally find a job to support their family. In this case, those poor guys even don't have the time to relax or have a good rest, not to mention helping others.

Apart from their own factors, Sometimes youths choose not to help others simply because that they are scared of helping others, for there are many negative examples of the results of people's kindness. When crossing the street and happening to see old is falling down, teenagers are forced to keep in mind that before they making a step and holding the old, they must make a judgment about whether the old would unexpectedly accuse themselves as the one who pull he or she down, and whether the old would ask them to pay for the medical treatment. In general people would avoid making trouble for themselves, and hence instead of helping the olds, young they would rather walk away.

Further, young people might be angry about the action they ever did to help the poor. Take the typical event "GUO MEIMEI" for example. After noticing that there is someone who had embezzled a great number of the donators' money to buy Maserati, BMW, Dior, and many other luxuries and uploaded their photos to the Facebook, China's young people are totally raged. Many of them swear that they will never donate any money later. This event tells us that the social atmosphere leads to the less unwillingness of helping others.

Does it mean that there is no people who is selfless and would like to devote without asking something in return? I think the answer will definitely be yes. From the bottom of our soul, we all hope to have a good acquaintance with others and we could be ready to be friends with others.

In sum, I believe that it is the harsh situations that make our young people too stuck by all kind of things, and they are afraid of even angry about making any contribution to the society. Therefore, compared with humans in the past, young people today are less willing to help others.

christyzhongs 7 / 21 1  
Dec 29, 2012   #3
headshot0313
Is it an IELTS essay?
anonymous1 2 / 3  
Dec 30, 2012   #5
the essay is good :)
the ideas are clear :)
but there are some mistakes where you've repeated the subject as a clear subject once and as a subject pronoun :)
although the intro especially the first sentence isn't directly relalted to the remaining paragraphs, the overall evaluation is : CONGRATS YOU MADE YOUR POINT CLEAR IN A SMOOTH AND NICE WAY!!!! :) :)

before they making a step and holding the old,

correction: before making a step and holding the old.

the social atmosphere leads to the less unwillingness of helping others.

correction: the social atmosphere increases the unwillingness to help others.

hight position, in today's generation however, all the undergraduates are facing the same question: unemployment.

Correction : hight position. In today's generation, however, all the undergraduates are facing the same question : Unemployment.

simply because that they are scared of helping others

correction:simply because they are scared of helping others.

young they would rather walk away.

correstion: they would rather walk away.

I hope i helped:)
OP headshot0313 7 / 15 1  
Dec 30, 2012   #6
Thank you! Thank you so much!!


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