Writing Feedback / [IELTS WRITING TASK 2]: A gap year between school and university [5]

The topic: Some people believe that a gap year between school and university is a good idea, while
others disagree strongly. Consider both sides of this debate and present your own opinion.

My answer:

a gap year - is it a good idea or not?

Nowadays, there is an accelerating trend of taking a gap year amongst young people. However, whether it benefits students or not has caused a heated debate and I will discuss these both sides now.

On the one hand, going on a gap year may be unsafe for young people. This is because they are still immature person who do not have enough essential knowledge as well as strong nerves to dealt with problematic situation like kid napping or robbing. Moreover, some students without physical strength may be overwhelmed by harsh working conditions. Another issue against taking a gap year is the financial problem. The cost of travelling as well as accommodation is indeed noticeable so that students have to pay a large amount of money which is mainly from their parent's budget.

On the other hand, it is obvious that for most students, the main purpose of going on a gap year is to acquire more actual experiences as well as soft skills which are barely gained at school. This is because these fruits may result in success in the future career of students who will enter the workplace and earn a living. Moreover, taking a gap year can also benefit the society. For example, many young people join voluntary campaign for undeveloped countries, especially those in Africa, to support the residents there. This action is not only a chance for students to experience real-life difficulties but also a rewarding contribution to improve the low living condition of poor people in other nations.

In conclusion, I feel that it is very useful to go on a gap year because of the benefits it brings to students and maybe the society. Meanwhile, this should be done with careful plan to avoid risks that may happen.

Thank you for reading my essay, please give me some comments and the score for this. ^^

Writing Feedback / Luck is nessesary aspect to achive a dream goal [3]

Whether or not someone achieve their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

the weight of luck

Luck is indeed a crucial companion for each step to success in our life. However, there is a common belief that someone's achievements result mostly from the factor of luck. I completely disagree with this idea for a number of reasons.

Firstly, in my opinion, true competence rather than luck is absolutely the main element leading to successful achievements. To acquire this, people have to study and work constantly with determination to equip themselves with essential skills as well as valuable knowledge. The modern world is increasingly demanding in every aspect of life, so people without competence are less likely to reach their goals easily. Nurturing and studying environment also plays a critical role in the ability to succeed of people, especially children. This is because family and school, where children grow and develop, exert noticeable impacts on them mentally and physically. Thus, whether young people may achieve the aims or not is not only a question of luck but also competence as well as developing environment.

It is true that luck can contribute to one's achievement. However, these achievements are usually short-term ones, whereas long-run accomplishments are indeed what illustrate success. Moreover, many unlucky people who was born disabled still became prosperous and gained popularity in life. An excellent example for this is the case of Nick Vujicic who is with the absence of arms and legs became a famous motivational speaker travelling around the world to inspire people.

In conclusion, I think the role of luck in achieving goals is exaggerated, while there are various more significant factors to consider like true competence and environment.

Thank you for reading my essay, please give me some comments and the score for this. ^^