Writing Feedback / What the graph shows, what is the type of graph shown? What is the data? [2]

Hi, My name is Ridho. I'm doing self-study for IELTS test next year, thus I need your assistance badly.
This is my very first writing on analyzing a graph.

graph analysis task

Instruction:
1. What the graph shows
a. What is the type of graph shown?
b. What is the data?
c. What are the units of measurement?
d. is there a period of time?

Language:
a. Use the present simple
b. Write one (or two if you wish) sentences to indicate what the graph is about

My writing:

This line graph shows a Million of Dirhams Dubai Gold Sales in 2002. Reaching peak sale in the first three months sale, Dubai gold experiences a fluctuation sale over the following months. However, Dubai gold sales ends in the same rate in which it starts.

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Writing Feedback / A significant fall in the proportion of production of energy from coal in four European countries [4]

Hi, this is me again. Since this is my very first writing, I do need your constructive criticism (i,e more than just proofreading)

below is my writing on IELTS task 2 (this is not the real test instead of the graph I took from my practice book)

what instead of coal in europe?

This line graph shows a significant fall in the proportion of production of energy from coal in four European countries over 15-year period, form 1995 to 2000. Overall, it can be seen that despite having a significant fall, Sweden and France could make a stable production in the last 6 years, while Denmark and Germany experienced a dramatic fall until 2010.

Denmark stood at the highest rate production at 60% in 1995, and then fell sharply to 10% in 2010. Unlike Denmark, Germany only experienced fall to 5% in 2007, and then rose significantly to 15% above Denmark.

Sweden stood at 35% below Denmark and Germany. However, Sweden experienced a stable production over last 6 years at 28%, the highest of four countries, while the production of energy from coal in France remained below Sweden over 15-year period.

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Writing Feedback / Report for a university lecturer describing the information on Japanese tourist traveling abroad [3]

Japanese tourist market report

Original Prompt:
You should spend 20 minutes on this task

The chart below shows the number of Japanese tourist traveling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australia's share of the Japanese tourist market.

Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
You should write at least 150 words

My Respond:

The bar chart illustrates the number of Japanese overseas traveler, measured in millions, and the line graph measures Australia's share of the Japanese tourist market. Both are during 1985 to 1995. Overall, Japanese overseas traveler rate increased over the period, interestingly it can also be seen that Australia's share of Japanese tourist market experienced the same trend.

To begin, in 1985 the number of Japanese traveler stood at 5 million travelers, and then increased significantly to 11 million travelers in1990. However, there was a small decrease to 10 million travelers in 1991, but then it gradually rose with the rate reaching a peak of 15 million travelers in 1995.

Quite similar to Japanese overseas traveler trend, Australia's share of Japanese tourist market also showed a gradual increase from 2 percent in 1985 to 5 percent in 1988. Despite having a small decrease to 4 percent share in 1989, there was a rapid rise with the rate reaching a peak of 6.5 percent share in 1993. However, unlike Japanese overseas traveler rate, Australia's share of Japanese's tourist market fall slightly to 6 percent in 1995.

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