Posts by adirnarmak

adirnarmak

Aug 23, 2018

Writing Feedback / IELTS: What can governments do to encourage children to eat a healthier diet? [2]

you should give examples or further explain by illustrations with each measure. and you should briefly state mentioned measures in conclusion. Otherwise your overall essay is good.

adirnarmak

Aug 23, 2018

Writing Feedback / In order to attract good students, many universities spend a lot of money in society activities. [5]

in this essay, you should go with whether agree of disagree. you are going with both, it is not good. if you are supporting this statement so you should discuss the points that what are the reasons that you are in favor of this, or if not so why are you not in favor of this.

adirnarmak

Aug 23, 2018

Scholarship / I have chosen three universities in the UK with the same Master program Cyber Security [4]

Study In The UK - Chevening application

I got programming skills due to the bachelor degree of Telecommunication and Networking, such as database applications, networking operations etc. Moreover, I have ample knowledge and skills and I have done my final year project of undergraduate on Fuzzy Logic. However, I have more interest in security field such as networks security, cyber security etc. That is why I want to go with security course. Therefore, the main purpose of my applying to the Chevening is to acquire professional training and qualification in the courses concerned as well as to get experience in relevant fields.

According to my interest and preference, I have chosen three universities with the same Master program Cyber Security:
1. First of all, the University of Southampton is highly ranked and it is in the top 100 in the QS World University Rankings 2019. I really want to get a master degree in Cyber Security so I can work for security purpose and implement my skills.

2. I have opted Master program at the Lancaster University because it's one of the best ten universities in UK with great environment. Another special reason to apply is it has a strong reputation globally. It can be justified by this it has an international partnership with higher education institutions and one of them is my undergraduate university COMSATS.

3. I have also chosen Master course at the University of Warwick, because it has a research rich environment when I can nurture my desires.
I know that every day more companies are looking for specialists who have an understanding of security and nowadays cyber security is very demanding field. I know that I will get necessary skills to furnish my existing skills and will be able to implement it professionally. Moreover, I hope to share my experience and contribute to cooperation between UK and Pakistan in the future.

adirnarmak

Aug 24, 2018

Scholarship / I have chosen three universities in the UK with the same Master program Cyber Security [4]

thank you so much. it really helped me. it is revised version. kindly comment on it.

From the start I have an interest of technical courses that is why I have opted Engineering field in college. With the passage of time, my interest had developed in Computer and I have decided to choose Computer Science. There I no denying that Telecommunication is one of the best field for future aspect. My decision was good because I acquire programming skills and interest due to the bachelor degree of Telecommunication and Networking, such as database applications, networking operations. Moreover, I have ample knowledge and skills and I have done my final year project of undergraduate on Fuzzy Logic. Besides this, I always wanted to do work in security field as well as I am fanatical about security from childhood as I wanted to become Security officer. My search was ended when I taught network security course in my last semester of undergraduate. It developed my extra interest in security field and my interest led me to the correct destination and that is why I decided to select Cyber Security. This course will help me to understand the risk of security and how to handle it which will definitely enhance my skills as well as strengthen my future because I will acquire job in which I have an interest and for me job satisfaction comes first. Therefore, the main purpose of my applying to the Chevening is to acquire professional training and qualification in the courses concerned as well as to get experience in relevant fields.

According to my interest ...
1. First of all, (...) and implement my skills. By applying this university, I can get the platform for employment in Cyber Security field. It has own Cyber security research group which will help me throughout my journey and I will be fortunate to work with them and serve community in UK as well as my hometown Pakistan.

2. I have opted Master program at the Lancaster University because it's one of the best ten universities in UK with great environment. Another special reason to apply is it has a strong reputation globally. It can be justified by this it has an international partnership with higher education institutions and one of them is my undergraduate university COMSATS. Moreover, the best thing I found that during the study, I can work within their ICT Center of Excellence which is very pleasing thing because it is necessary to get a platform where you can implement your knowledge.

3. I have also chosen Master course at the University of Warwick, because it has a research rich environment where I can nurture my desires. They also have their own Cyber Security Center so I will have much opportunity to work on their projects if I got the admission there.

Cyber Security is one of the greatest challenges of contemporary world that is why every day more companies are looking for specialists who have an (...)

adirnarmak

Aug 24, 2018

Scholarship / Networking is a key to develop your personality and a way to enhance your ideas and thinking [3]

networking essay for scholarship

In my perspective, interaction with different people is a key to develop your personality and way to enhance your ideas and thinking. Especially, it can be proved by my experience of four years living in another city because of my studies. I changed my location and lifestyle for a long time and settled in that city which is totally different from my hometown. Even the province is also changed. Furthermore, I have settled in hostel where I found different girls belonging to different cities. Thus, I got knowledge about not only that city where I lived temporary but also many other cities. Moreover, it enhanced my social links and kept escalating my networking connections.

As a result, I established a good networking with people. I still keep in touch with all of them. Moreover, I want to enhance my network and want to be a part of young leaders. By studying in UK, I would have a chance to interact with Computer Scientist and work on international level.

adirnarmak

Aug 25, 2018

Writing Feedback / Students should become good people by their parents or their school ? ( ielt task 2 ) [3]

instead of this line
"While i admit with both standpoints..."
you should write: "this essay will discuss both notions and state my own position. "
they want you to discuss both opinions, you can not stand with both views. you should go with one view after discussing both views.

adirnarmak

Aug 25, 2018

Writing Feedback / TOEFL - Beggars money. Giving them or not. Which point of view do you think is correct, and why? [5]

for me, it is 4. but you should avoid to write he/she again and again. you can use "they". and you should give example in 3rd paragraph also. and merge 2nd last paragraph with 3rd paragraph. it will sound better.

adirnarmak

Aug 26, 2018

Scholarship / Leadership can change everything with passion - for scholarship [3]

Leadership and influence

In 2006, when I was in school I had selected as a Head Prefect of school by my Principle, where I was challenged to maintain the discipline. My main functions were to assign specific jobs to each prefect, check their performance, organize events and meet all the necessary requirements to follow the rules and regulations. I motivated all the prefects by setting my own example of doing work and how to concentrate on studies as well. I assigned task and checked it on daily basis as well as solve their mediated disputes. My team showed their best progress in every area and especially in every event such as Independence Day, Celebration on Annual Day, Sports Day, and the entire guest appreciated our school's discipline. Moreover, my team and I were always appreciated by my Principles and Teachers as well.

As a leader, I am always passionate about organizational activity. In 2012, when I was in university I had achieved a very great chance to upgrade my leadership skills. I volunteered to organize the event with the team which was known as the Usher Team of my university. Basically my main responsibility was to organize the convocation event as well as warmly welcome the guest including Rector and Director of university and parents of the pass out students. I motivated my team to practice a lot on regular basis. Even though we had a classes as well but I had to managed both things so I personally took a favor from teachers of all team member and convinced them that they will give us some little time after class so we can cover our missing part on that time. My team gave their full effort and the event was mesmerized.

Furthermore, in 2016, I volunteered to chair a fundraising for my hostel mate in my university, where I challenged myself to meet a fundraising goal of 10,000 Rupees. I convinced my peers as well as other students of university to give a fund so we can help a needy woman. Many people convinced and donate a huge amount that exceeding my fundraising goal by 75%. I had given that extra amount to her for her children's clothes.

To recapitulate, from my life experiences, I have learnt one thing that leaders can change everything if they have that passion towards their goal their aim. As a young leader, I have good accomplishments. Now I am looking forward for Chevening scholarship that will make my future bright and I will fulfill my aim as well as serve my country to more develop.