Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by nhancau12345
Name: dung duy
Joined: Oct 13, 2018
Last Post: Dec 3, 2018
Threads: 3
Posts: 5  
From: Viet Nam
School: foreign trade

Displayed posts: 8
sort: Oldest first   Latest first  | 
nhancau12345   
Oct 13, 2018
Writing Feedback / Sources of energy - IELTS 2: Problems and Solutions Essay [3]

I am planning to take the IELTS test. Here is one of my essay. I really need to improve my writing skills in order to get the best preparation for the IELTS test.

Fossil fuels usage



Topic: Fossil fuels such as coal, oil and natural gas, are used in many countries. The use of alternative sources of energy, including wind and solar power, is encouraged. Is this trend a positive or negative development?

Environment plays an important role in our daily life. Nowadays, our green air in environment is polluted by over using of fossil fuels. So that the trend of replacing fossil fuels by wind and solar power is highly justifiable.

Wind and solar power are both environmentally safe sources of energy. In fact, our earth is endangered by dioxide which is a production of coal and oil from vehicles and industrial. For example, the world temperature is hotter every year and protection air of earth is destroyed by many dangerous rays from universe. Therefore, government should encourage wind and solar power as a alternative sources of energy and impose a tighter law on using coal and oil. If wind and solar power become main energy and coal and oil are used in acceptable way our world will be a better place for humanity to live and develop.

It is undeniable fact that wind and solar power are easy and reasonable way to use energy. For instances, solar power can be used to boil water for bath and cook while wind is very useful to generate electricity. In addition, wind power is suitable to nature and makes country more modern with eco-friendly high technology in fields of energy. Besides, coal and oil are current energy but shows many disadvantages such as pollute the air, harm to consumer, high price, ... In contrast, wind and solar power prove more convenient and easy to be the future energy for humanity.

Put it in the nutshell, alternative energy including wind and solar power should be encouraged all over the world. From my perspective, our earth will be better if people know how to use novel and suitable power for our daily life.
nhancau12345   
Nov 24, 2018
Scholarship / The leadership has been existing in me without my knowledge [4]

Hello, there are some mistakes that I correct for you.
... realizing the extend (-> extent) in which ... gone astrain -> a strain
I was surprised on how ...
... to realize he was has already positioned
This scenario made me to discover ...
I my ability to ...
... and listen carefully
Ofcource (-> of course)
Finally, this scenario ... grow as a leader to be an outstanding in ...
nhancau12345   
Nov 24, 2018
Scholarship / Personal statement for outside scholarship [2]

Hello, there are some mistakes in your writing
I would not to miss a
time I learnt to read -> learned
on individual efforts , but
I had came up with -> come
decisions based of -> on
That was when I learnt -> learned
anything new was risky->were
I learnt that -> learned
nhancau12345   
Nov 24, 2018
Writing Feedback / The increasing business and cultural contact between countries brings many positive effects. Discuss [2]

I am planning to take the IELTS test. Here is one of my essay. I really need to improve my writing skills in order to get the best preparation for the IELTS test.

BUSINESS AND CULTURAL CONTACT


Topic: Some people think the increasing business and cultural contact between countries brings many positive effects. Others say it causes the loss of national identities.

Discuss both sides and give your opinion

In modern society, the explosion of Internet plays an important role in our daily life as well as contacting business and culture between countries. The growth of commercial and traditional interactions between different nations all over the world have many beneficial influences while some people believe that their traditional culture will be lost. This is a controversial issue that requires further discussion before a specific conclusion can be reached.

In the first place, some people are in favor of the idea that widening international exchange, both in fields of business and culture, have made a positive impact not only a nation but also its dwellers. Obviously, people from different countries will have mutual understanding and work together as a unique group. As a result, they are able to enhance education with a suitable program and broaden their horizon with latest technologies all over the world. For example, current dominant countries such as the United State, Great Britain, and Europe can give an opportunity to others economies to develop through training abroad students, providing welfare, exchanging scientists and teaching medical.

However, others argue that traditional culture will be lost in the globalization of business and cultural heritage. Although traditional rituals are the essences of a nation, residents should open mind to the revolution of technology, commercial strategies, medical treatment and so forth. Actually, our world is changing day by day so that people should try their best to adapt to new and wonderful economies but still keep their own wholesome heritage. For instances, though many international corporations have invested in Viet Nam with novel strategies of business as well as foreign styles, local residents still have traditional culture such as Vietnamese dress, conical leaf, beef noodles,..etc.

Conclusion, both views are true in some aspects when interactions in the domain of business and cultural between different countries are developed rapidly. From my perspective, governments should impose tighter regulations on commercial trading and traditional identities so as to protect national heritage.
nhancau12345   
Nov 24, 2018
Writing Feedback / CAR OWNERSHIP IN GREAT BRITAIN: IELTS WRITING TASK 1- LINE CHART [2]

I am planning to take the IELTS test. Here is one of my essay. I really need to improve my writing skills in order to get the best preparation for the IELTS test.

Car ownership in Great Britain


Topic: The chart below shows the changes in car ownership in Great Britain between 1961 and 2001.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph illustrates the different number of people who have cars in Great Britain during the period of 40 years from 1961 to 2001.
It can be seen from the line graph that the number of houses in Great Britain who had 2 cars experienced a remarkable growth from 1961 to 2001. There were no British houses had 2 or more cars in 1961 but nearly one-third of the population of Britain afforded to buy at least 2 cars in 2001. In contrast, there was a sharp decrease in the household in Britain who had no car from 1961 to 2001, fell approximately 40% from 65% to 29%. The percentage of families with no car reached a bottom at roughly 30% in 2001.

From 1961 to 2001, the percentage of one-car owners fluctuated from 35% to 50% reached a peak of 50%. In 1981, half of the population of Britain had one car in their house though from 1991 to 2001, the number of one-car owners remained stable at 45%. In 2001, the different walks of life were clear that nearly one- third of British residents had 2 or more car in their house and people who had no car constituted the same proportion.

Overall, the percentage of families with 2 or more cars rise sharply due to the considerable fall of no-car owners and the fluctuation of one-car owners from 1961 to 2001.



  • If this image is blurred, please give comment on vocab and grammar. Thank you.
nhancau12345   
Nov 28, 2018
Writing Feedback / SHOULD HEALTHCARE PROVISION BE FREE OF CHARGE OR NOT? [3]

Hello, i am not a professional writer but i have some contributions to your essay:
It is undeniable that people who ... ->On one hand, because you use On the other hand in para 2 so that in terms of coherence you should use " On one hand".

First of all, it is a matter of fact that people ... In my opinion, you should use " In fact" simply because there are 250-270 words essay so that the conjunctions should be clear and to-the-point.

This is great essay. Good luck.
nhancau12345   
Dec 3, 2018
Writing Feedback / The life abroad can create both social and practical issues due to the lack of language knowledge [3]

Overall this is a great essay but there are some mistakes:
the posture of some Indian perceived show fewer regards
Personally, I think you should use a dot rather than a comma. You should use some structures in English such as Although..., not only... but also, ... to replace a comma to make a complex sentence. Moreover, I think you should use clear and to-the-point transitional words such as Apparently, In fact, In addition simply because this is 250-270 words essay.

Good luck
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳