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Posts by Junghakkyo
Name: Nadia
Joined: Dec 20, 2018
Last Post: Dec 31, 2018
Threads: 3
Posts: 9  
From: Korea, Republic of

Displayed posts: 12
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Junghakkyo   
Dec 20, 2018
Scholarship / Korean Scholarship- Personal Statement- Masters Degree [2]

KGSP scholarship application



I'm applying for a scholarship, and I've rewritten this essay three times. I'm hoping this could be the final draft with minor edits.

Here is my essay^^ Thanks in advance~

Background and Interests:
I have been interested in exercising to stay healthy since I was little. Through this interest, I have learned a lot that can help me as an educator. From elementary school to high school, I played soccer, and in high school, I was a youth summer camp soccer coach. By playing soccer, and coaching, I learned the importance of working as a team, and being clear on what is needed while under pressure. In Korea, I have continued to exercise by joining a dance academy. This has helped me to understand the pressure my students might feel when trying to understand directions in a foreign language.

As a teacher, I also believe it is important to lead by example. By leading a healthy lifestyle, and exercising, I can guide my students to do the same.

Experience:
In high school, I gained experience making PowerPoint lessons and grading quizzes as the French and Spanish teaching assistant. Later, teaching at a daycare and preschool facility helped me understand the need for listening to children's problems, and actively showing that I care. In university, as a volunteer ESL teacher, I was exposed to how great the language barrier could be, and I learned how to overcome it. Now, as a middle school EFL teacher, I am consistently learning the importance of creativity and flexibility while making lesson plans and teaching.

In university, I studied linguistics to understand how people learn a language. Now, I plan to study Education to be able to better teach English as a foreign language. I want to study EFL Education because I know I can be a better teacher for my students. Although I have learned a lot as an EFL teacher through EPIK, I also know I have a lot to learn.

Why Study in Korea?
I moved to South Korea in August of 2017, and it has been fantastic. The teachers at my school are incredible, and try their best to include me despite having a language barrier. My students are smart and witty, and they make me want to be a better teacher. The community I have lived in since coming to Korea is full of kind and caring people, and I love the fact that if people see me, they say hi, even the lady from the convenience store.

Having such a wonderful community of people around me, makes me want to stay in Korea to pursue my master's degree rather than study somewhere else. Because I also plan to continue to teach in Korea after gaining my master's degree, I believe studying Education in Korea would be the most beneficial as well.

Why KGSP?
Through this program, I can drastically improve my Korean which is really important for me and my students. Part of teaching is answering questions, and a lot of the times, students avoid asking me questions, and simply ask the Korean teacher instead. Usually, this is because the students want the teacher to translate a word for them. However, if my Korean was better, the students might think of me as a more reliable teacher. I find that as my Korean improves, the students feel more comfortable asking me questions. Also, because students see my effort in learning Korean, it encourages them to try in English even if they struggle

In Korea, I also realized that I'm not only an English teacher, but also a representative of western culture. By learning Korean, my students who don't have confidence in their English skills feel more comfortable talking to me about various topics outside the classroom. Having the ability to talk in Korean with my students gives them the opportunity to learn about my culture in a casual way. If I could formally study Korean, I would be more prepared to talk to my students and answer their questions. My students constantly motivate me to be a better teacher, and are why I am applying for this program.
Junghakkyo   
Dec 20, 2018
Writing Feedback / Parents have a responsibility to both care for and prepare their children as they approach adulthood [6]

@THI

I agree with Holt in that you didn't answer the question. You vaguely mentioned the rights that the youth should have, but what exactly are those rights? Rather than talking about police, or schools, you can link the rights to how parents should or should not intervene.

I would rewrite the essay first to answer the question. I would recommend planning out the essay first before actually writing it. This way you can ensure it answers the question in a clear and concise manner. Then look back at your new essay and read it out loud. There were a lot of grammar mistakes in this version that made it difficult to follow what was being said.
Junghakkyo   
Dec 21, 2018
Writing Feedback / Computers will replace teachers in the future? [3]

Hello!

Firstly, I think this is the start of a really good essay. However, I think there are a lot of holes in your argument. A better way to structure the essay may be to list a reason why people believe computers are better, and then give your opinion as to why that reason is not a good idea.

For example,
*Pupils can do assignments ... process of repetition* However, having a teacher walk each student through the problem they are having can help them better understand any areas they are having difficulty. A computer is unable to properly identify the issue each individual student might have.

By doing this, you can make your argument stronger, and more persuasive.

Secondly, there are some areas that just needed a little edit. Some might just be writing style preferences, but mostly grammar points~

1. I affirm that the educator's ... in this area the classroom.
2. ... the role of the teacher starts is starting to fade OR Some people hold a belief that the teachers role is starting to fade . . .
3. ... and answers tofor students to handle with.
4. Firstly, teachers can instruct and stretch students. . . *I don't know what you mean by stretch, this doesn't really make sense*
5. how to analyze and synthetize. . . *I'd just say "How to analyze information"* *Synthetize doesn't match this sentence*
4&5: Firstly, teacher can instruct and stretch ... -> Firstly, teachers can instruct students how to analyze information efficiently, and then give ...
6. critical thinking skills,
7. Besides, teachers create motivations ... -> Teachers also motivate students by recognizing their academic achievements.
8. ... values into our education system
9. ... for us to use a computer with the teacher's ... **This doesn't match your argument**
Junghakkyo   
Dec 21, 2018
Scholarship / What's a Study Plan? Is this what it should look like? Graduate School in Korea application [5]

scholarship in Korea and graduation



So I'm applying for a scholarship to go to Graduate School in Korea. I've never heard of a study plan before, but this format is how my friend suggested I write it. Is this what a study plan is supposed to look like? If yes, is this ok? If no, what is it supposed to be?

Thanks!

Goal of Study:

At Seoul National University, I want to learn more about the Korean Educational System in order to be a better English teacher.
When I first started working as an EFL teacher in Korea, I had no idea what to do. I had no books to teach from, and the students' English level was a mystery to me. It took a whole semester for me to figure out what level they were at, and because of this, my students didn't gain much in their classes with me that semester. Learning where students should be in each grade will help me be better prepared to make lessons for my students. By studying EFL education in Korea, I can learn where my students' English levels should be.

I desperately want to improve making clear, fun, and interactive lesson plans. In my city, I have a lot of EPIK teachers who can give me games and activities, but at Seoul National University, I can learn how to make activities that better suit my students. Also, I will learn how to make better lesson plans that will be more enjoyable to my students.

Below is a list of classes that I believe will help me achieve my goals to be a better teacher. In the event that a course is not offered, or is unavailable, I listed a backup course as well.

Course List:

701.990 Seminar in Curriculum Development.
706.707 English Teaching Materials and Curriculum
706.704A Studies in Applied Linguistics
706.736 Studies in English Morphology
707.516 Sociolinguistics and TEFL
707.513 Studies in Contrastive Analysis of English and Korean
706.708 History of Teaching Foreign Languages
707.803 Reading and Research
701.803 Dissertation Research

Study Plan:

In order to achieve my goal of matching my lesson plans to my students' English levels, I want to take 701.990 "Seminar in Curriculum Development". Currently, I only use the Presentation Practice and Production design to my curriculum, but changing the way I approach my curriculum may yield better results from my students. This class will help me make various types of curricula in an organized manner.

A class that I believe will complement the "Seminar in Curriculum Development" is 706.707 "English Teaching Materials and Curriculum". As of yet, I have never taught from a book. Therefore, if the situation arises where I am required to teach from a book, I will need to be prepared. By taking class, I will be able to learn about how to use materials and develop them to better suit my students' needs.

As an undergraduate student, I majored in Linguistics and focused on Second Language Acquisition. Because Linguistics is the science behind learning a language, taking classes that show me how to apply that knowledge to teaching is crucial. Therefore, I plan to take 706.704A "Studies in Applied Linguistics". This will help me utilize what I have already learned in the classroom.

While doing my undergrad, I also was able to take a morphology course. This class was not language specific, but it showed me the potential morphology could have if used to teach a language. Taking 706.736 "Studies in English Morphology" would be incredibly applicable towards future classes. For example, if I teach basic morphology to my students, they could possibly learn how to break down a word in order to guess its meaning.

Classes that my students always love are "English Slang", "Text Talk", and "Konglish". However, as soon as they take these classes, they start using the words they learn. I love that they want to use these words, but they use them with everyone. Learning how to explain when they can use certain words would be incredibly useful, which I why I want to take 707.516 "Sociolinguistics and TEFL". I also want to take 707.513 "Studies in Contrastive Analysis of English and Korean" in order to better understand how certain words come to be. For example, my students take the word "손맛" and say "hand-taste", rather than "home-made". They made a direct translation rather than getting the actual English word. Understanding how this works can help me teach them how to avoid making these mistranslations.

Learning the history and politics of the education environment I am teaching in is extremely beneficial. Recently, in South Korea there was the students' rights movement, and I believe knowing what all that entails would be useful information to know as a teacher in the country. Also, as each country has its own view of how a teacher should be teaching, knowing what is expected of me as a teacher in Korea will help in how I approach lectures. Due to this, I want to take class 706.708 History of Teaching Foreign Languages.

As for the last two courses on my list, 707.803 "Reading and Research" and 701.803 "Dissertation Research", I believe they will help in terms of coming up with ideas for my thesis, and in making sure it is well written.
Junghakkyo   
Dec 21, 2018
Undergraduate / Northwestern supplementary essay - (night life , research, club) [3]

This starts out really good, but I would suggest pointing out why you need to study at Northwestern. Mostly everything listed could be applied to any university. Why does it need to be Northwestern?

**As the saying goes (...) my social circle**

This really detracts from the essay you wrote. Everything you wrote (which was really good) now seems meaningless because it sounds like you just want to party. Rather than say it this way, talk about *net-working* and *Stress Relief* in a more professional way.

Good Start!
Junghakkyo   
Dec 23, 2018
Scholarship / What's a Study Plan? Is this what it should look like? Graduate School in Korea application [5]

Hi! Thank you for your response, I just have a couple follow up questions because my circumstance is different from what you described.

I am currently an EFL teacher in Korea, and after I graduate, I don't plan on going back to my home country after graduating. The goal of my studying at university in Korea is to become a better EFL teacher in Korea.

Should my study plan have more concrete examples of problems I have now as a teacher, and how what I learn can resolve those problem?

In my *tentative* essay above, I believe I answered questions 1, 6, and 7, but is how I wrote it unclear or confusing?

With your answers, I can rewrite the essay, I just needed a good starting point. Thank you!
Junghakkyo   
Dec 26, 2018
Writing Feedback / Should gay marriage be allowed? The controversial topic. [2]

Your arguments are well supported and answer the question clearly. I would just make a couple edits.

1. "... from the past may be irrelevant. For example, ... can only be a romantic relationship between a man and a woman. . . "

2. "... will be happier and not have to pretend to be someone else"

3. "and it can suffer them ..." -> "and it can make them and their unloved partner suffer later."
4. "gay people are still ..." -> "gay people continue to be judged
5. "This act can cause gay people to have depression. . ."
6. "... as a way to escape for themselves."

Hope this helps!
Junghakkyo   
Dec 27, 2018
Graduate / Personal Statement for KGSP (Graduate): Application to POSTECH [3]

Hello,
Your writing is really well done, and it is really focused on what you want to study. However, in the last paragraph, I would delve deeper into why Korea and the KGSP. Maybe talk about a specific memory you have with one of the Koreans in C. City that made you interested in their culture? At the moment that piece is lacking and seems like you don't really care if it's Korea or a different country. The essay can be a full page, so you have *some* room to lengthen that piece of your essay.

Grammar edit:
1. "regarding the effects of the three laboratories merging. . .
2. "But Over the course of time

I'm actually also applying for this same scholarship for graduate school, so if you want to look at my paper for ideas (or to edit) as well it's posted on this website.
Junghakkyo   
Dec 28, 2018
Scholarship / KGSP Future Plan in Korea after Graduating [2]

This paper can be one page size 10 font Times New Roman.

My issue, is that this essay is rather straight forward and to the point. I don't really know what else to add to this because everything else was included in my personal statement essay or my study plan essay. Any suggestions on what I could expand on for this essay would be fantastic.

KGSP Future Plan in Korea after Graduating



After finishing my Master's Degree, I aim to continue teaching English as a foreign language in Korea. Teaching in Korea will provide the opportunity to practice implementing what I learned in my classes, and will further my knowledge of the educational system. Due to already having taught middle school English in Korea, I want to expand on my experience by teaching in an elementary or high school at different stages of my career. Additionally, teaching at each level first will provide a deep understanding of what students learn in public schools before they attend university. This experience will give me a comprehensive understanding of the expected English levels in Korean public schools, which will be beneficial towards my ultimate goal of teaching at the university level.
Junghakkyo   
Dec 31, 2018
Undergraduate / Common App Essay Sudoku, Medical, Death [4]

I brought it down to around 700 words. So there is still a bit more to do, hope this helps!

..., I thought I had understood what ... empathized.

It is not uncommon to have for such ... with excitedment banter in Waipo's ... A pot of green ... of the moment. Equipped with...

We both ...
Sudoku teaches Another one of life's treasured secrets: that can be ... art of taking appropriate risks and ...
... mull over a puzzle together, persistently armed ... teapot of cha (tea). I developed strong...

Waipo's death from Leukemia last November ... in my house sobbing at my computer ... to console me and my pain, yet impulsively sobbing, those deep kinds of sobs where..., which just keep kept coming, even when ... any left. ...

People depart us leave, falling from our grip,..

It has given me an even greater passion ... Ever since, I realized the ... and emotional needs, taking time ... and listen, and expressing empathy and compassion.

... complex than a puzzle than a mere game of Sudoku, I vow to solve this puzzle in humanity cure this disease in honor of her death.

... I also remind myself of her last words ...
Junghakkyo   
Dec 31, 2018
Undergraduate / Typical Day After School ( Georgia Tech) [3]

Before looking at the edits, is this for an entrance essay? You may want to rewrite this essay in a more enlightening manner if it is. At the moment, by the time the reader gets to the point of you being recharged, and ready to work, it seems like you acknowledge the laziness and procrastination, but do nothing about it. For a college entrance essay you want to sound more appealing as a prospective student.

This is 300 words exactly with the edits.

... SAT practice tests, couple of AP essays ... I drive home pondering and organizing all my thoughts and planning my into an ideal schedule that I try to abide by.

.., when I could've could have been working ... So, to try to get away from ...

... songs that I adore and wholesomely enjoy. ... practice of a hobby that I fully embrace, I start ... Like replenishing a my life in a game, I start my ...

... more than what I've finished at school. ... feeling triumphant over my day.
Junghakkyo   
Dec 31, 2018
Writing Feedback / Working from home and studying at home are on trend. Do you think it is a positive development ? [3]

Hello, I went ahead and put in some notes for your paper. #7 counters your argument, but I put a note at the bottom for how you could fix that. Hope this helps!

1. The sound reason why I am ...
2. .., which means is a lot for employees with low salaries.
3. As a result, their saving spendings are probably building up relatively quickly.
4. A further whole point in favour ...
5. ... students who has have disabled parents and or an 1 year old ... homework with on the Internet ...
6. Despite these sound arguments, there is also an argument case fof the idea that working and ... lacks rigid discipline.
7. ... supervise either worker employeesor students while being away. ... delay their works and some ... (This counters your argument completely)
8. ... because they people can save money and or nurse someone ... of discipline.

**which can be solve with computer camera and ... (change the wording of this and put it by 7 to help your argument)
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