Undergraduate / 'music and character' Lafayette short essay: intellectual interest (like Stanford's?) [6]

Prompt:
In an effort to learn more about you, we ask that you describe an intellectual or creative interest or accomplishment.

Here goes my answer:

I'm interested in the relationship between music and people's characters. I did not conduct a formal research on it, but I always ask people what music genre they like. Then I inferred their characters from the answers. For example, those who love Brit-rock are usually quiet in appearance but passionate in nature; those who are fond of jazz are romantic and sometimes idealistic; those who like R&B are open and gregarious; those who love light indie are kind and nice; those who like indie rock have a conflictive mind. Later talks and acquaintance proved my guesses were virtually correct.

Furthermore, the music that people suddenly have a crush on can reflect their current emotions. For instance, if one who always loves quiet music unexpectedly puts many R&B songs into his mp3 player, he might be impetuous these days.

Besides, I think the connection between music and character has a broad application. For example, a psychotherapist can use this to know patients better, and find out the possible conditions that the patient himself or herself does not discover. In this situation, if the psychotherapist only listens to what the patient says, he may miss the underlying conditions. Another application is linked to management. When employees are indolent, the employer could play energetic music, say R&B, to refresh them.

However, there are limitations in this theory. There are people who do not usually listen to music and who listen but have not built the connection between music and their mind yet. Furthermore, people's characters are complicated and not easy to summarize. So as a primitive idea, it needs further research, which I hope to conduct in college.

I think this doesn't necessarily looks like an essay...like a personal statement or something. It's way too plain and outstraight... but I can't think of other ways to present my idea, like, romantically? that's impossible! My idea really looks like an academic one, so it's hard to say it 'fancifully'...So I need your help! Constructive criticism encouraged! Thanks.

Undergraduate / Short Activity essay on commonapp...about debate!~ [8]

Never have debated before high school, I trembled with fear in voice at my first appearance on a debate stage. Nevertheless, when I kept on the track, I found it enabled me not only to speak fluently in public, but also to approach problems critically and comprehensively. Having to react and express within seconds, I also acquired an acute intelligence, which kind of gave me a bright temperament in appearance.

After entering the school debate team, I was given demanding tasks, and was planned to be cultivated into the best girl debater in the team. However, since my coach was so strict and seldom smiling, I couldn't relieve my nervousness and was embarrassed if I let him down. It affected my training, to some extent. At last, I told him my worries, and he gradually gave more encouragement. So from my debate experience, I also learnt that it's vital to communicate with colleagues and never let personal emotions muddle the job.

THANKS AND CRITICAL COMMENTS WELCOME!

Undergraduate / 'The Law of Attraction' - Bard Supplement Essay [2]

Prompt:
In the wake of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the possibility of requiring universal military service through a draft
has once again come under consideration. Write an essay arguing your position, for or against the draft. Your argument
may or may not include a discussion of a system of national service that extends beyond military service. Please note, this
is not a litmus test regarding political views; Bard seeks diversity and originality, not conformism.

If we ask why people should be drafted into the army, some might say, 'because we would be prepared in case a war breaks out'. But it is easy to imagine that, once we institute the draft, how the public would become more and more prepared for war, both financially and psychologically. While preparing for war, people would begin to regard war as a probable eventuality. What people expect to happen is more likely to come true, according to The Secret by Rhonda Byrne, one of my favorite books. I am quite convinced of the so-called Law of Attraction introduced in this book, which says that, whatever you have thoughts about, no matter whether you are for or against it, you are attracting it into your world, which is also everyone's world. Now, since I am against wars, I disapprove of any actions that might lead to or prepare people for war, and drafting is certainly one of them. The best way to prevent war is to remove the thought of it from virtually everyone's mind. That has obviously not yet been achieved, which is why we still have wars now. When people eliminate negative thoughts like those of wars from their minds, they would gradually allow more positive and neutral thoughts to come in, such as the thoughts of peace, love, and courage. As people think of the good things, they would, consciously or unconsciously, bring it about through action. Therefore, for the purpose of peace in the world, we should never allow the introduction of universal military service through draft. Otherwise, people's minds would be full of the thoughts of war, and the breakout of war would be 'guaranteed'.

On the other hand, though I see how to utilize the Law of Attraction for the purpose of achieving world peace, I do understand that making nearly everyone expel the thought of war from his or her mind is very difficult. Therefore, as a student interested in psychology, I would like to work as someone who inspires the mind, as far as I am able to, by spreading my ideas to as many people as possible.

I like Bard very much, and this essay prompt belongs to the most interesting ones I have ever encountered. But since I am a supporter of the Law of Attraction and against war, I would suggest Bard to change this essay prompt next year to something about peace instead of war. By doing so, Bard would be preventing more thoughts about war from entering the minds of us prospective students, some of whom will become future world leaders. That would be a small helpful step towards preventing war. Thank you.

It's really a weird response. I think it might work because of Bard's weird nature. Anyone feels that I should elaborate it further?