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Posts by Iwilltrymybest [Suspended]
Name: Nguyen Van Cuu
Joined: Jul 12, 2022
Last Post: Jul 21, 2022
Threads: 3
Posts: 7  
From: Viet Nam
School: Life school

Displayed posts: 10
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Iwilltrymybest   
Jul 12, 2022
Writing Feedback / Pop stars earn much more than classical music performers. Some people think this is fully justified [2]

earnings of pop stars and other musicians



Pop stars earn much more than classical music performers. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

With the outbreak of mass media, there has been an increasing in emerging pop stars coupled with their enormous income. Therefore, while some people reckon it is justifiable for these performers, the others find it arbitrary for the classical music ones. This essay will analyze both viewpoints and reasons why I advocate for the latter.

On the one hand, that pop stars should earn a fortune may be reasonable. As several contemporary mainstream singers gain their fame through social media, they have to spend a great deal of money in marketing campaign. This, in practice, helps such performers keep their name known by the public during a short-lived career. A case in this point is Son Tung as this singer has channeled a huge budget into acts of building up and retaining his image as being stylish and trendy. Given that, he should deserve such fortune to make up for his investment. As it shows, current pop singers are justified for such income.

On the other hand, I believe this practice fails to give the classical music artists an even-handed treatment. Since they underwent years of intensive training to be proficient in using instruments as well as performing skills, the professionals in classical genre should be paid at the very least on equal footing to the pop ones in their wage. This, moreover, could propagate a false notion that such contemporary singers have surpassed those versed in classical music. Beethoven, one of the greatest composers, had to face financial burden due to the low payment. However, it did not mean that he was much less prodigious in art compared to the newcomers. Thus, it is plausible for the those specializing in classical genre have such equal payment.

For the reasons mentioned above, it seems to me that the classical musical artists should be deserved an income as equitably as pop ones.
Iwilltrymybest   
Jul 18, 2022
Writing Feedback / Bullying - a common crisis in schools. Main root causes and viable solutions. [3]

Your essay seems to be too long to fit with the essay required time of ielts test. Furthermore, writing too long may make a bad impression on the examiner. The first example is too general and do not have any effects on extend your viewpoint. Some words like perpetrator seems to over-emphasize on the subject you want to mention. Balance the length between 2 body paragraphs.
Iwilltrymybest   
Jul 18, 2022
Writing Feedback / Task 2: Today people live away from their friends and family to find a job in other cities. [3]

Today people live away from their friends and family to find a job in other cities.

Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?



It is observed that people increasingly sacrifice their chance to stay near their loved one to relocate for work. This essay will analyze both the merits and demerits of the tendency and the reasons why the merits are greater.

On the one hand, those who move away from families and friends are more at the risk of enduring mental health problems. As people have been accustomed to being in the company of the loved one, they could find it demanding in case of stepping out of their comfort zone. In practice, such people feel the difficulties to share their problems with the next of kin due to great distance. A case in this point is migrant workers since they are intrinsically inclined to opt for foreign countries. Therefore, the laborers have to stand on their own and in the end may suffer from sheer pressure regarding their workload and lack of compassion, which will escalate without outside assistance. As it shows, people could confront the mental health problems when being away from the loved one.

On the other hand, their ambition for the career fulfilment would be straightforward to be realized. As bigger cities or countries are the hub of various industries, which may facilitate a safe and secured career as well as high wage, those who make for these destinations stand the chance of finding an ideal job. This could not only benefit their own career in the long term but their living condition as well. Japan in this day and age becomes such an impeccable countries for laborers throughout the developing countries in view of its labor export programs. Given that, people opting for this nation could ameliorate their financial condition in tandem with a stable career path. Thus, their living away from their loved one goes along with their successful employment.

In conclusion, while the tendency to relocate for work instead of staying near family friend presents both the downsides and upsides, it seems to me that the upsides outweigh the counterpart.
Iwilltrymybest   
Jul 20, 2022
Writing Feedback / Many governments budget money for the sports industry [3]

you have misbalanced 2 body paragraphs. Use more practical example to prove your explanations as it has little relevance to what you want to prove. The whole idea is really difficult to understand as each sentence support their own meaning
Iwilltrymybest   
Jul 20, 2022
Writing Feedback / Young people should be required to do unpaid work helping people in the community [3]

Some people think that young people should be required to do unpaid work helping people in the community.

Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages



Some people reckon that it should be mandatory for the youth to partake in voluntary works as a way to help fellow citizens. While this practice could present drawbacks relating to time management and teenagers 'exploitation, from my point of view, the overall impact is tremendously positive.

On the one hand, that the young could derive substantial benefits from such works is in plain sight. First, volunteering may inspire in them a spirit of dedication and responsibility. As it is observed that the youth are intrinsically inclined to show scant concern for their surroundings, voluntary works could be a chance for them to dig deeper insight into lives of their fellow citizens, especially the underprivileged. With such activities as collecting trash under sizzling weather or delivering food, teenagers can grow into empathetic citizens who realize their accountability to the society. Furthermore, unpaid work could facilitate a safe and secured career. To be more specific, employers are apt to appreciate those taking part in voluntary work and contribute to the society since these candidates are considered to be equipped with requisite practical skills. Google, a large multinational firm, only recruit employees that have even-handed experience. Lacking this, candidate could fall behind by their competitors. As it shows, voluntary work could be beneficial.

On the other hand, there might be some drawbacks that need mentioning. The main reason is their shortage of time. Undoubtedly, teenagers have to allocate much of their time on study, however, volunteering means they need set aside a considerable time for such works. This, in practice, is annoying for those in final grade who prepare for the entrance exam. Consequently, diminuting study time could culminate in their poor academic performance coupled with a bleak career prospect. Moreover, that the young could be taken advantage seems liable. This is because several organizations endeavor to promote their image through such voluntary activities. Thanh Cong, a Vietnam food company, used to ask young participants to distribute flyers to raise public health awareness, but they actually contained adverts for their products with an aim to proliferate their sales instead. Therefore, it presents several drawbacks when it comes to volunteering of teenagers.

In conclusion, while the youth's partaking in voluntary work represents such downsides mentioned above, these are surpassed by such benefits as responsibility and career fulfilment. Hence, teenagers should spend time joining unpaid work.
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