Undergraduate / UC Prompt 2: My Undying Passion (sport) [6]

UC Prompt #2:
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are.

This is just a rough draft, I know there is a lot of things I must work on. Constructive criticism please :). I realize that I use the word "upset" a lot but I haven't been able to find a good synonym for it, help with that would also be greatly appreciated.

With sports, I have been told that I am an ardor player; however, sometimes I let my temper get the better half of me. It was just her and I, we were the last people on the court, and both of our teams were diligently starring at our rally. The other team cheered, I was losing. We were closing in on our first set; she won 6-4, what a disappointment. Of course I was upset that I lost the first set, but I was more upset at my playing level. Everyone watching knew I was capable of being a lot more accurate.

I am on the Girls Varsity Tennis Team at my school, which I have been playing on for three years. There were about twenty girls on my team, and I was in the top five. We had a game versus our rival school, Harbor High, and I was playing number three-singles.

I get easily angry with myself, especially when I am not using my strengths to my fullest potential and because I have such a powerful love for the game, I get even more upset when my format is incorrect. She served and I thought I was ready, the easy ball came towards me and I hit deep, too deep. I kept on thinking "what is wrong with me." The angrier I got, the more points she scored.

I realized that my getting angry was not going to increase my points, if anything, it was helping my opponent defeat me. As I walked over to my side of the court, I figured out that my opponent was a soft hitter and I had a lot more strength and stamina then she did. If I took control of where I placed the ball I could pull through the match and win. I won the second match 6-3, then the third 6-4. I was filled with joy, I knew I could win, I just had to let my love for the game sink in and calm me down.

Displaying frustration is not going to help me succeed, but my eagerness to win will. If I have a vehement desire, all I have to do is put my head on straight and go for it. When I love something, I have a strong aspiration for it. With tennis, I have such a great zeal that I get what I call a "tennis rush." I love to play and I always want to figure out ways to be better. If I whine about losing, it is not going to contribute to my progression as a tennis player. As much as I idolize Serena Williams, I do not want to look like a fool over lost points. I win some and I lose some, all I can do is practice.

Undergraduate / Ludacris: My Childhood [8]

Although I have revised it,anything you think I should add or edit would help!!!
Gracias

UC Prompt #1:

Describe the world you came from and tell us how your world has shaped your dream and aspirations.

For about ten years I lived in an apartment complex known as the Villa San Carlos. A grim neighborhood, the Villa San Carlos helped sculpt the person I am today. The Villa San Carlos has a sullied reputation and is associated with gang violence. The managers of the apartments were not involved with gangs but a majority of the residents were. The faded paint, graffiti on the walls, and constant yells from homes made it apparent that these were not the best apartments to live in.

As a little girl, the gang members my mother knew treated me as if I were a delicate flower; they were gentle and cared for me. However, when I did see another side of them, I was shocked; they were vicious, tough, and barbaric. Getting acquainted with the fellow gang members as a child, I never understood why a person would want to join a gang. But when I entered middle school, the idea of being a gang member became more enticing; being a gang member meant more than displaying myself as a tough person but staying connected with a group of people who supposedly would embrace each other when life got difficult to handle. When I entered the 7th grade; my interest in gangs increased. I never actually became a member of a gang, but I began to wear the colors and hang out with aspiring gangsters. People began to perceive me as a "mean" girl. I looked like one of those girls everyone feared because of the sour look on my face and my abrasive character; I spoke like a gangster, constantly swearing.

But as I entered high school, I began to think about what I wanted for myself. A close older cousin of mine helped me realize I had the potential to create a success of my life and these words of wisdom were brought upon one night when we were discussing our future. She had not paid attention in school and because of her lack of commitment she decided her future had already been set. She looked at me with watery eyes and said, "You are worth more than any one of these girls, don't be stupid and mess up your life." Those little words stuck with me; she made me reevaluate my life. I concluded that I did not want to turn into just another "Latina chola." I could not and would not fall into the stereotype of a Latina girl who would become another failure in society. I was determined to beat those odds and create a success of myself.

I was caught up in thinking about who I should feign to be in order to gain acceptance of my peers and neglected to think about what the right passage was for me. I realize I want to attend a university and surround myself with intellectuals who are going to positively affect society. I want to offer my ideas and share my experiences to help others who may be tempted to follow the bumpy path of what seems like an easy way out.

Growing up in the Villa San Carlos, I witnessed people get sucked into a whirlpool of problems because they were affiliated with gangs. The gang members either became addicted to drugs or were shot, and I refused to let that disastrous mess become my life because not many people I know were successful in withdrawing from a gang. I want to offer the world my mind and soul, and I will not waste my life by becoming a gang member.

Enduring any obstacle thrown my way, I am an individual who will fight for what I want. Although the Villa San Carlos helped shape the person I am today, I am glad my mother changed our residency because I feel the longer I would have stayed, the more vehement my desire would have been to become a gang member. I know who I am, and I have not need to follow anyone. I am accomplishing goals I have set for myself and becoming the young woman I always knew was deep down inside of me.

Undergraduate / 'Lessons from my Latino heritage' - Cultural Difference-University of Washington [4]

Its a bit rough but its what I got :)
Constructive criticism please

Describe an experience of cultural difference, positive or negative, you have had or observed. What did you learn from it?

I attend a dominantly white school, so there is not a strong diverse group. But as a Latina mutt, I have been exposed to a colorful view of culture. I am surrounded by a milieu inhabited by Latino relatives that have given me the opportunity to experience my heritage by passing down family recipes to teaching me hidden tongues. However, being a Latina, house work tends to be more embraced for women. I have no problem with helping around my house but constantly cleaning and washing morphs from a duty to an onus, which interferes with my studies. Not many people at my school have to endure the chores that I must complete at home. How do I know this? Because for a while, people I knew would ask me why I looked so tired.

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