Undergraduate / School's name - Rice supplement - what motivated to you to apply? [6]

What motivated you to apply to Rice University? Please be specific and limit your response to 200 words.

What first attracted me to this school was its name, "Rice". Two years ago, I had been completely unaware of Rice University. While my friend, Rachael, and I were researching for a business project on the agricultural system, I randomly clicked on a link that guided me to its website. As I browsed, I read about the abundant undergraduate, future-oriented research possibilities with world-class professors, the opportunities of studying abroad, and the chance of interacting with a nationally and internationally diverse student body. Although these are some of the most interesting aspects of Rice, what appeals to me the most is that Rice is right here in Houston, a few minutes away from home. I am finally comfortable in this city; unlike some of my friends, I do not want to leave home to go to college. Rice presents me with the opportunity of staying and still getting top-notch education. I immediately considered the institution as one of my top schools.

I want a rigorous course of study, one that will stimulate my way of thinking and will push my limits. I need heated and insightful classroom discussions that will improve my higher level thinking skills. I crave to rack my brain searching for answers until I can come up with innovative ways of solving questions. Because of small-sized classes and close contact with teachers, I know I can find that at Rice. I like that at Rice, I can double major even if my second choice is not in the same school of study, while taking other classes that spark my interest. Furthermore, picturing myself attending a school that is not only architecturally beautiful, but has small five-to-one student to faculty ratio, made Rice even more attractive. Rice's residential colleges and different approach on undergraduate studies will allow me to have the education and American college experience I seek.

WORD COUNT: 170

Please help me with the grammar and sentence structure. By the latter I mean tell me if i have run-on sentences that are best separated...

Does it flow? Does it sound generic?

Undergraduate / "Especial" - Rice supplement essay. [4]

The quality of Rice's academic life and the Residential College System are heavily influenced by the unique life experiences and cultural traditions each student brings. What perspective do you feel that you will contribute to life at Rice?

"Especial"

I knew she trusted me, but I still wondered why my mother had asked eight-year old me to go to that place alone, making me ride the horse carriage for almost an hour. Although the door was ajar, I knocked tentatively, not sure of what to expect. A loud "entra!" gave me permission to go in. I pushed the door slightly, and through a thick cloud of smoke I saw a group of men sitting at a round table, excitedly playing dominos. The room suddenly grew silent as I stepped in. They were drinking black coffee, and one of them had a big cigar between his lips. The latter fit my mother's description, as he seemed to be the oldest. I moved toward the shadowy man, but could not help lowering my head as a chilling, bemused smirk spread across his face. I remembered my mother's warning to be as quiet as I could. "I was wondering if you have any powdered milk?" I whispered. He chuckled humorlessly and nodded. I gave him twenty pesos for a little black bag, one that contained two weeks' worth of the scarce supply Cubans desperately sought. The secrecy, of course, was due to a high demand for milk and the utter lack of supply. My mother did not want me to expose our supplier by asking him for milk in front of other people. It was not that there was no money; there was no food - period.

The USSR fell, and so did Cuba. During el período especial, or the Special Period, poverty was extreme. Lines at the bodegas and placitas for rationed food Cubans could purchase with la libreta, or rationing booklet, went around the street corners, making the people appear to be part of a large, hungry snake. To make matters worse, dengue reemerged in Santiago de Cuba in 1997, a fever I was lucky to survive. The government could not properly supply hospitals and schools. Teachers counted our textbooks every day, and notebooks, pencils and erasers were to stay at school. I once lost my eraser and had to immediately pay the school back. Nevertheless, education is a high priority in Cuba. Scantrons were completely foreign to me five years ago, because in Cuban schools all assignments, quizzes and tests were in essay-form and handwritten. In some ways the objective tests I have taken in American schools have limited my opportunity to show that I appreciate different perspectives and different opinions on certain topics. Regardless, the United States has more equipment available for students than I ever dreamt possible. In a recent biology lab, we were required to use microscopes. When I entered the classroom, I saw a whole array of these instruments, and I recalled how I was not allowed to touch them in my mother's school. Now I was required to use them! I itched to touch one, but when I looked around, I noticed how blasé my classmates were about this requirement that so excited me.

Although it was fatiguing, el período especial did force Cuba to interact with the rest of the world, by shifting its economic focus from the Soviet Union to the vicissitudes of tourism. A whole new world opened for Cubans, new markets and even new music that revitalized a lethargic nation. The old, classic music never left, however. Salsa, danzón, merengue and the son, the most Cuban of all types of music, with the claves, maracas, and drums, were merely modernized. Music is everywhere; rhythm is the soul of Cuba. During the carnivals of Santiago de Cuba, vendors set up kiosks and sell delicious, though unhealthy food, while their cassette players blare at full volume and the attendees dance. In 2003, the first and last carnival of this sort I ever attended, completely dazzled me. I shared food, laughed at old jokes and pretended to know how to dance with people I had never met. "Extrańos familiares", I called them. Later, I joined my neighborhood's "conga", an event that means fun to every Cuban. Although the line started only a few blocks away, the sound of the Chinese trumpet and the traditional conga drums carried the tune and called to passersby to join in. In Santiago the electricity comes and goes every four hours, and there really is not much to do when it is dark and there is no power, so the "congas" always brought such joy. Adults and children interact, and everybody learns everything about everyone else in the neighborhood. Each block becomes a small community. We all depended on each other, trading food and clothes, always looking out for one another.

In suburban neighborhoods near my American home, I have observed people click on their garage door openers, park their cars inside, and fail to see the face of the person living right next door. Americans actually have to make an effort to talk to others and to establish relationships. I come from a society where even if I had been inclined to be alone, I could not have pulled it off. Not only were all aspects of my life wrapped around other people who lived near me, but also the Comité de Defense de la Revolución, or the Revolution's Defense Committee in each neighborhood forced us to interact. In the United States I do not know my neighbors, not even their names! While up to three families can live in one house in Cuba, most of my friends here have never even shared a bathroom, much less a bedroom. Until two years ago I still shared a bedroom with my mother, and my American friends seem baffled by that information. Life in a dormitory or college is unusual for them, but it is normal for me. I would be thrilled to be part of the friendly closeness of communal life at Rice. While I am not athletic and would probably not be able to help my college win the Beer Bike Race, I nevertheless would want to be as active as I possible could be in my college and in the larger Rice community.

Because I was denied so many opportunities to grow in Cuba, I want to expand my horizons and reach places my family never dreamed possible. I intensely appreciate the academic freedom American schools enjoy, and I can not wait to feel supported by other people who share the same passion and interests that I do.

What do you think? Give suggestions!

Undergraduate / Rice supplement - short answer. why the Natural Sciences school? [6]

With the understanding that the choice of academic school you indicated is not binding, explain why you are applying to that particular school of study.(3000 characters available)

I like knowing how things work. As a little girl, I would sit next to my mother as soon as I saw her revising her students' work on plant anatomy. Her old textbooks on plant physiology fascinated me; the detailed pictures of the intricate inside of a plant's stem transfixed me. My mother answered my questions as best as she could, often shrinking the facts so that my eight-year-old mind could comprehend them. On one page, the plant and its name, on the next, the individual leaf, then, a group of cells, the organelles and their functions; the more pages I turned, the more engrossed I became. As a child, scientific names were forgotten as soon as they were read. The images, however, were carved into my mind and a flame sparked. My International Baccalaureate Biology classes fed that fire; now, a senior in high school, all I can see myself doing is learning more about living tissue and cell behavior, not just how, but why. A whole new world, invisible to the unaided human eye, was suddenly presented to me: the molecular world. I felt the wheels turning as my teacher explained the life processes cells undergo in order to survive; Biology and I were in the same wavelength.

Although I have learned more about cells, this knowledge only brought up more questions in my mind. I know what photosynthesis is and how enzymes are inhibited, but why is Photosystem I most efficient at P700 and why are enzymes not consumed while catalyzing chemical reactions? The questions are never-ending, and though my young ignorance is frustrating, the novelty of learning something new is what attracts me to biology. It is a vast field of study with a plethora of unexplored areas that await for someone to discover them. Oh the many possibilities! Just thinking about making a new discovery, a biological breakthrough, makes me nervous and excited! Yet before that, I need to become more acquainted with biology; that is where the Weiss School of Natural Sciences comes in.

I want to explore the complex, fascinating inner life of cells and raise the current level of understanding in this field of science. Weiss School of Natural Sciences offers outstanding and creative educational programs for biology majors. The department of Biochemistry and Cell Biology (BCB) and its biosciences curriculum has an extensive list of required courses and electives that target specific subjects, such as Bios 440 on Enzyme Mechanisms. Additionally, experience gained with the hands-on research provided, be it on Plant Biology or Microbiology, will help me think outside the box, enhancing what I learn in lectures and textbooks. Like Rice as a whole, Weiss' mission to provide students with the best possible education and the wide range of research activities over which the BCB department spans, are most appealing. The Weiss School of Natural Sciences will prepare me so I can be ready to go on to graduate school and enter the scientific world.

First impressions? I think I was pretty specific. I talk about area of study, biology, and the school of study, weiss ( I didn't really know which one the question was asking) Help me with the grammar! I mean, does it flow? help me with that last sentence, it sounds a little strange but i can't think of how to revise it...Give as many suggestions as you can!! thanks in advance :D

Undergraduate / "Indefinite Growth" - Texas A&M - My Answer to Essay B [5]

Question:
Choose an issue of importance to you-the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope-and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.

"Indefinite Growth"

A movie rolls in my head. I have become the director, and I see vivid colors engulfing me while imagined sounds provide special effects. Each scene transforms with a never-ending list of characters, continually changing, from a beautiful Japanese geisha to a haunting German ghost, from a brave blue dragon to a vicious, power-hungry vampire, from an enchanted portal to a deadly spell. Books open doorways to fantastic, action-packed or romantic worlds that can easily come to life by turning a few pages.

My very real neighborhood, however, provides shelter for low-income inhabitants, including recently arrived refugees from countries all over the world, but mainly from Africa and South America. Walking from the yellow school bus to my apartment, I see children everywhere. Cubans or Somalians, Bosnians or Angolans, they have grouped together, bonding while playing, and friendships have formed. Seeing them running around and listening to them playing loudly until late hours of the night, generally without much adult supervision, is a common and somewhat disturbing event.

Because a two-bedroom apartment somehow accommodates three to four families, many of the kids outside live in just one household. Children are particularly active, and these go to extreme measures to stay out of their apartments, often going all the way to the very end of the complex to "hang out." Is it because they feel too cramped inside? Do they need space to clear their heads? Most of them are in elementary and middle school. English is not their first language, but it is no secret that reading increases vocabulary, improves and maintains spelling and develops comprehension skills. Reading boosts analytical thinking, and the grey cells of the brain increase when children must deal with topics, ideas and words that are unknown and completely unfamiliar. I wish there were a program in my neighborhood that would encourage all of these children to participate in reading activities. Language in children's books is likely to be more sophisticated than the average, everyday conversations they have with their friends. By nature, kids are curious, and books can provide stimulation for their probing minds, which is vital to their success in life.

Reading books brings me a great deal of pleasure. I can sit for hours reading novels, poems and short stories; I never get tired of it. If the other immigrant children in my neighborhood were to become interested in reading, they might avoid the addictions of television, video games and violent films, which are so dangerous to their development. The more these kids read, the more valuable information they will absorb, and the more knowledge they will gain. I wish I could invite them in so they too could inhabit the worlds I have come to love through reading. By these means perhaps I could save them from the mean, dangerous streets of my neighborhood and give them a chance to enjoy the same rich literary movies that roll in my head.

First impressions? Comments and suggestions? Grammatical errors, etc

Scholarship / being somebody constructive in the world - Why do I deserve this scholarship? [3]

"Tell us what makes you a good college student"

So i don't really know how to answer this question, so tips and suggestions, as well as corrections, are most definitely appreciated!

My wish to further my education is mainly due to my unwavering passion of gaining knowledge. My hardworking single mother has done nothing but support me: bringing me from Cuba so I could have a better future though she feared this unknown country, where the language still baffles her. In Cuba, I was limited for eleven years of my life; I do not ever want to feel again as if I can not achieve my dreams.

I entered high school in the Magnet Program for Business, and all of my classes were in the International Baccalaureate Program. In my biology class, a whole new world, invisible to the unaided human eye, was suddenly presented to me: the molecular world. I felt the wheels turning as my teacher explained the life processes cells undergo in order to survive; well, Biology and I just clicked. Although I have learned more about cells, this knowledge only brought up more questions in my mind. I know what photosynthesis is and how enzymes are inhibited, but why is Photosystem I most efficient at P700 and why are enzymes not consumed while catalyzing reactions? The questions are never-ending, and though my young ignorance is frustrating, the novelty of learning something new is what attracts me to biology. It is a vast field of study with a plethora of unexplored areas that await for someone to discover them. I would not like petty things as money, or the hard stuff that life throws at me, to keep me from doing what I love doing most: learning.

I want this scholarship because it will help me achieve my goal of being somebody constructive in the world. Being an officer of the Robotics Club, Spanish Club, and Name that book club, while volunteering through Interact group, being member of National Honor Society and Future Business Leaders of America, have taught me not only of the importance of education, but of perseverance, through time management, and patience, through trial and error. Leadership and communication skills have been instilled in me. Going to college will not only enhance those skills, but mold me into a more well-rounded person who is prepared to face the professional world.

Tell me what you think.
First impressions?
Grammar error (especially sentence structure. Run-on sentences?)