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Posts by phuocqui
Joined: May 6, 2010
Last Post: Nov 27, 2010
Threads: 3
Posts: 5  
From: Viet Nam

Displayed posts: 8
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phuocqui   
May 17, 2010
Writing Feedback / IELTS; MOVIES & TELEVISION CAN POSITIVELY INFLUENCE PEOPLES' BEHAVIOR [2]

Great changes have taken place in human society along development of technology, and movies and television are the big part of this. Such entertaining methods affect on people's behavior in many ways.

First of all, movies and television influence people's thinking and action, especially the youth who are vulnerable. For instance, violence and sexual scenes result in young people' cruel behavior. According to media, there have been serial murders which committed in school in China, and some scientists believed that the serious actions may involve in so many violence scenes in the media.

Secondly, people who spend too much time to watch movies or television so that they can be addicted and tend to have sedentary lifestyle. They seldom do exercise and get fatter. Obviously, this is not good for their health and relationship between family members. Some housewives, for example, who spend much time for watching so that some of them forget to prepare meals for their family or neglect to take care their children. These behavior may affect negatively on the family relationship.

In contrast, movies and television play significant role in entertaining people. Therefore, people's behavior can change positively after they feel relax. In addition, some kinds of movies or TV programs contain moral value which help people distinguish between wrong and right. Furthermore some TV channels such as Discovery and Animal Planet can raise people's awareness of environmental protection.

In brief, movies and television obviously affect on people's behavior. However if people can limit amount of time they spend to watch and choose proper films and channels, people will have benefits and can prevent the disadvantages.
phuocqui   
May 22, 2010
Undergraduate / Multinational student body / national diversification - personal statement [5]

Dear Poster,

"Another reason to seek admission is the university's multinational student body. That is very important to me because I am a representative of a foreign nation myself. " . Here is the other options for you:

Another reason which i would like to choose the University is the international environment, because i am myself a foreign student.

or

Another reason for choosing the University is the multinational environment which provide international standard campus, facility, etc, because i am myself a foreign student.

Gook look,
phuocqui   
May 23, 2010
Essays / "Being beautiful is more important than being intelligent" [6]

Hi Lilywah,

"Being beautiful is more importance than being intelligent" is a very interesting topic:
Here are my suggestion for the argumentative essay:

In the paragraph which you express how important being beautiful is you can show:
- Beauty brings more chances for models, actors or actresses or singers
- the first conversation among strangers is more effective

In the paragraph for intelligence:
- in some kinds of job, intelligence is much more important such as doctors, engineers, scientists, politicians etc.

good luck
phuocqui   
May 24, 2010
Writing Feedback / Students should be required to attend classes; may need explanations of teachers [5]

Some university students think that they can study at home via reading books, while the others, such as I, believe that attending classes is necessary for the students for the following reasons.

In classes, the students can study a lot of things from their teachers. Although I admit that the students can obtain knowledge or information for books, I would argue that when they are in classes, the teachers who have good experience can give the students several examples in order to help the students understand deeply about lessons. In addition, the teachers can find out what the students still do not understand or misunderstand and then explain for them. For instance, without help of teachers, different students may figure out different ways about the same theory in a book. Therefore, in some cases, students need explanations of teachers.

Furthermore, when the university students study in classes, they can build relationship with their classmates. Such social relationship plays a significant role in development of future career of the students. In other words, people who have good social relationship will receive more chances to success in the future. More to the point, the students know ways how to tackle problems each other when they study in group. They learn how to communicate with other people effectively and can study from their classmates. The communication skill is not only help students in studying period, but also in their future career.

In brief, taking all the fore-mentioned arguments into account, I believe that the university students should participate in classes.
phuocqui   
Jun 3, 2010
Writing Feedback / TOEFL essay -Monumental Gifts [7]

Dear kovcastle,

Here are some suggestions:

Nowadays, we face to plenty of disasters; such as, earthquakes, floats, hurricanes, famines and droughts etc

To give an example, plenty of earthquakes take place [ should use present perfect tense in this case ]-> Plenty of disasters have taken place so that not only many people are died but also their houses are pulled down.

Owing to fact that we will be a disaster victim, we must donate them ->Owing to the fact that we may be a disaster victim in the future, therefore we should donate to them

we donate not only money but also our organs, such as, kidney, liver, retina etc-> we donate not only money but also our organs such as kidneys, livers, retinas etc

Good luck!
phuocqui   
Jun 3, 2010
Writing Feedback / In some countries at the age of 18 young people are allowed to drive, vote and mar [5]

In some nations, it is common that, young people at around 18 years are allowed to vote, drive and even marry. While some people think that 18 years of age is sufficient for youngsters to involve in such activities, others refute for the following reasons.

Firstly, youngsters like tend to drive a vehicle very fast and they do not bother about the speed limit normally. As chance forthe risk of accidents are more, vehicle insurance companies quote premium amount when teens go for vehicle insurance.

Secondly, when itwhat does IT indicate to comes to politics, it is a big ocean. Before casting vote, one needs to consider several things like plus and minus of any candidate running for the election; how good the candidates are in keeping their promises; whether any candidates are accused of bribery and so on. When grown ups find it very difficult while selecting the right person to cast their vote, it would not be an easy task for adolescents.

Finally, finding the right companion is a complex thing by itself. As everybody spends a great amount of time with their family next to the job, it is important to find a right life partner. Itwhat does IT indicate to needs some maturity and clarity in thoughts. Lad/lass should know what can they give and what they expect from the marriage. For a successful married life, both husband and wife should be ready to compromise on few things. These things would be very difficult to understand for teens.

Good luck!
phuocqui   
Jun 4, 2010
Writing Feedback / Focus on creative expression should be given importance or not ? [5]

Dear Shalini Singh,

Generally, your essay is very good. However being more professional, you should use

- "people, human, someone, inhabitants etc" instead of " us, our, you"
- Giving objective examples instead of personal examples

good luck
phuocqui   
Nov 27, 2010
Writing Feedback / Ielts essay; I believe that companies' changing employees is acceptable. [3]

At the moment, labor market is quite dynamic. Many companies want to hire more employees while some workers are fired. It is a curious paradox that companies usually expect the loyalty from candidates, but employees are not treated the same. I suppose that changing company staffs occasionally is an acceptable idea due to current economic circumstances for the following reasons.

The world trade is changing dramatically, so everyone and organizations have to adapt themselves to update new conditions. If someone can not adjust himself to the new environment, should be fired. In order to survive, companies need to follow the market needs. They usually find the way to work and innovate their system. This requires the flexibility of manpower in order to work under new companies' rules or regulations.

In some cases, employees can take advantages from the changes. Such requirements encourage the employees to improve themselves. Following the new methods of work, workers can learn a lot. Some workers also have more chance to train. Furthermore, changing human resource gives opportunities to those who are skillful. It means that skillful workers can be promoted to upper positions where they can display their abilities.

In addition, the workforce which companies need is not always the same. In some period, companies do not have enough contracts with their clients. It means that companies' profit is low; therefore such companies are in nature to force to cut the number of staff.

Taking all the fore mentioned argument into account, I believe that companies' changing employees is acceptable.
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