Undergraduate / "I like to explore" - Penn State Personal Statement [4]

Feel free to offer any advice or suggestions the statement. Any criticism is much appreciated.

Ever since I was a young boy, I have always liked to explore. As a toddler, my parents would find me in places around the house I wasn't supposed to be. As a young child, I would take my bike and ride around the neighborhood for hours until either I became exhausted or my chain broke. Now as a teenager, I'll take my father's car, or if I am really lucky, my mother's minivan. With each rite of passage, I was given more freedom to investigate, and Penn State will give me the opportunity to explore further than any car could take me. Finding something unexplored excites me. This characteristic of my personality has helped me greatly and the experiences I have gained have been irreplaceable.

At the age of six, I naively wandered off in Disney World. I had meshed into a large crowd of people while trying to get a better look at Mickey, and became virtually invisible to my parents. I soon realized what had just happened and when I turned around to look for them, they were not there. My heart pounded and my mind raced and I'll admit it, I cried. With tears streaming down my puffy red cheeks I trotted back towards the spot I last saw them. Then, magically I spotted my mother nervously standing on top of a bench to get a better look. It was as if I had parted the Red Sea as I sprinted over to her, wiping the snot and tears onto my sleeve. This experience only lasted for about 5 minutes, but it is one of the few experiences I remember vividly. Though my own ingenuity, I found my way back without help, and believe this short exploration has helped make me who I am today.

This desire to pursue new things and discover experiences is exactly why Penn State is the perfect place for me. Although the large number of students and enormous campus may scare others away, I see this as a huge adventure. At first, I'll admit, even I was tentative about the size. This feeling soon changed after visiting the campus and spending 2 days in the town. By walking around the campus its surroundings, I realized the cohesiveness and the unity present everywhere I went. All of a sudden, the daunting school with over 40,000 students became cozy and comfortable. The endless number of clubs, intramural and club sports, and events going on in the school make it the perfect place to spend four years. Also, since Penn State offers almost every imaginable major, it will give me a chance to explore my various interests before deciding which one I would like to pursue. The academic challenge in addition to the huge selection of social aspects Penn State will definitely allow me to take part in as much as I can and truly experience everything that Penn State stands for.

Undergraduate / Finding something unexplored excites me. [2]

This is for the optional personal statement for the Penn State Application.

The prompt is: Please tell us something about yourself, your experiences, or activities that you believe would reflect positively on your ability to succeed at Penn State. This is your opportunity to tell us something about yourself that is not already reflected in your application or academic records.

All comments, criticisms and corrections would be very much appreciated.

Ever since I was a young boy, I have always liked to explore. As a toddler, my parents would find me in places around the house I was not supposed to be. As a young child, I would ride my bike for hours around the neighborhood until I became exhausted. Now as a teenager, I'll take my father's car, or if I am really lucky, mom's minivan and venture out of my neighborhood to experience in greater detail the place I have lived for my whole life. Each rite of passage gave me more freedom to investigate. Finding something unexplored excites me. This characteristic of my personality has helped me tremendously, and the experiences I have gained have been irreplaceable.

I will never forget one such experience. I was only six years old when I naively wandered off in Disney World. I had meshed into a large crowd of people while trying to get a better look at Mickey, and became virtually invisible to my parents. It was soon apparent to me what had just happened, and when I turned around to look for them, they were gone. My heart pounded, my mind raced, and I'll admit it, I cried. With tears streaming down my puffy, red cheeks, I trotted back towards the spot I last saw them. Then, magically, I spotted my mother nervously standing on top of a bench where she was trying to get a better look. It was as if the Red Sea had been parted as I sprinted over to her, wiping the tears onto my sleeve. This experience only lasted about 5 minutes, but I remember it vividly. Though my own ingenuity, I found my way back without help, (which, by the way, no one was offering) and believe this brief exploration and happy ending helped fuel my adventurous side and make me unafraid of the unexplored.

This desire to pursue new things and seek out new experiences is one of the many reasons Penn State is the perfect place for me. Although the large number of students and enormous campus may frighten others away, I see this as a huge adventure. At first, even I was tentative about the size. This feeling soon changed after spending two days exploring the campus and the surrounding town. I quickly realized the cohesiveness and the unity present everywhere I went. All of a sudden, the daunting school with over 40,000 students became cozy and comfortable. In addition, since Penn State offers almost every conceivable major, it will give me a chance to explore my various interests before deciding which one to pursue.

The academic challenge, the unequalled school spirit, the endless number of clubs and intramural sports, the opportunity to travel abroad and all of the other planned events, make Penn State the easy choice for me to spend four years exploring, growing and preparing for the next chapter in my life.

Undergraduate / Sneaker Collecting Common App [6]

This is an essay for Common App with no particular prompt. I hope this is close to the final version. Any and all comments are greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance!

I overheard a phone conversation my father was having when he referred to me as a modern day Imelda Marcos. After waiting patiently for the call to end so I could ask him why, my curiosity got the better of me. I decided to do my own research online. Besides, he would have told me to "look it up" anyway. After misspelling her name multiple times and reading page after page, I had no idea why I was being compared to the wife of the former dictator of the Philippines. As my will began to break, I noticed a small caption under a photo of her that explained everything. Apparently, this woman owned about 3,000 pairs of shoes. All of a sudden, I understood the reference.

"Hello, my name is Andrew Mazzola, and I am addicted to sneakers." I have evolved considerably since the days when my shoes lit up as I stepped, and my passion for them has emerged since. When most people buy a pair of sneakers, they might consider looks, functionality or price. When I am on the hunt for a pair of sneakers, my criteria are very different.

Each pair is a piece of art. Just as one admires the beauty of a painting or a sculpture, I admire a pair of sneakers. Finding slight intricacies in the detail on a pair of sneakers excites me, and learning about the inspiration for creating the sneaker gives me an inside look into what the designer was thinking. For some this concept may be difficult to understand, but the respect I have for a well-designed pair of sneakers is similar to one's appreciation for a well-composed symphony. Both have small, elegant aspects to them that come together to form a harmonious creation.

Vintage sneakers are the most fascinating to me. They provide a link to the past that makes them valuable. In a sense, they are time capsules, capable of bringing me back in time. For example, I was not able to watch Michael Jordan win his first NBA championship because I was not even born at the time. Instead, I now own the same model sneaker he was wearing that day in 1991. They are deteriorating as they sit in the box in my closet, older than I am, but they act as an artifact that reveals all about the past.

My sneaker collecting certainly reveals a lot about me as a person. My commitment to collecting proves that I am a naturally devoted person. In anything I start, I always try to finish. Never will I do anything half way, and when I set a goal, I do whatever possible to achieve it. Putting all my effort into anything I am passionate about is an aspect of my character of which I am proud.

This also shows my ability to recognize and appreciate the little things that usually go unnoticed. The most trivial aspect of a sneaker can be what causes me to appreciate it, and this principle is evident in all aspects of life and school. Seeing the little things in, for example, literature or art, enables me to become more involved and interested in the topic and to make observations others may overlook. This analytical trait allows me to see not only what others do not, but see things differently and on a deeper level.

Everything in life has a hidden story and inspiration behind it; sometimes it simply takes a little "sole searching" to find it.