Unanswered [7] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by tennislover
Joined: Oct 4, 2010
Last Post: Nov 3, 2010
Threads: 4
Posts: 12  

Displayed posts: 16
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tennislover   
Oct 4, 2010
Undergraduate / how hawaii has fueled my interest for stanford [5]

The purpose of this prompt is "Tell us what makes Stanford a good place for you".
Please give me your feedback and tell me how to make this stronger!

As I rested my body on a moss filled rock in the Hawaiian rain forest, I struggled to comprehend how this diverse atmosphere fits so well with the violent volcanic eruptions of Kilauea Iki. The delicate patter of the rain, the vibrant ferns, and the colorful native species intertwine with the ominous crater floor and hardened lava to create an atmosphere that is the epitome of nature. Reflecting back on my trip to Hawaii, I am reminded of an individual's obligation to preserve the beauty in nature. Learning how nature has an incredible impact on all culture around the world, I found that it was my duty to give back to nature and culture. Stanford is an institution flourishing with various academic programs and organizations that do more than provide an education. With its small classes and dedicated professors, it truly inspires the students to foster their intellectual curiosity and use it towards the public good. I would like to be a part of a university that is committed to education for mere pleasure. In the next vital four years of my life, I intend to develop a strong foundation to be an effective member of society. I am confident that Stanford will propel me to accomplishing my goals. With incredible programs like the Haas Center of Public Good and the ability to form your own student groups, Stanford feeds into a world that honors community. The feeling I received when walking among "Pele's tears" was one that mirrored the inspiration that filled my bones when I walked Palm Drive. Stanford is more than an educational institution. It is a cohesive community that will be my launching pad towards a life filled with bold and daring action.
tennislover   
Oct 21, 2010
Undergraduate / "Why Stanford?" I want to be a bridge [4]

i agree with blackpixel23. While it is interesting to read about all the places you have been to, it does not really show why Stanford is the best place for you. I think you need to find something specific about the school besides its diverse enrollment. Its diversity is a good start, but there needs to be more.
tennislover   
Oct 21, 2010
Undergraduate / "Enrolled in a ballet class" - Stanford roommate supplement! [7]

I really want to go to Stanford and will do anything to improve! please give me helpful suggestions.

The prompt is Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate - and us - know you better.

Back in the day when I was little menace to society, my mother enrolled me in a ballet class, fully equipped with the pinks tights, tutus and ballet slippers. As soon as the teacher instructed the class to get in tune with their inner ballerina, I took off my tutu and strutted out the door. Asserting my independence at the young age of six was a harder task than I imagined. I never thought that going out on my own would include parading around in dance studio wearing every shade of pink imaginable. You see, while my mother wanted me to find my niche in the dancing world, I was more concerned with following my brothers around. I yearned to be the girl who knew how to throw a curve ball and could recite the full lineup of the New York Yankees. I spent ages six to twelve fighting to separate myself from the color pink. When that never happened, I promised to myself that I would never try to be like one of the boys. I was going to be that strong and independent girl who had the courage to stand up to that wacky ballerina teacher. Now, at seventeen, I am that girl who can play a game of basketball while sporting five inch heels. I have created my own niche in society; one fitted for independent women who can surprise the world at every unexpected corner. So roomie, are you ready to experience my niche?
tennislover   
Oct 24, 2010
Undergraduate / "Enrolled in a ballet class" - Stanford roommate supplement! [7]

ok, I definitely see what you two are saying. I guess to me, it doesn't seem that way, but to other people it probably does. Soooo, I made very very very few minor changes that i think helped.

tell me what you think
tennislover   
Oct 26, 2010
Undergraduate / "Fatty Fadi (laugh now:)" - Stanford University: Letter to Roommate [5]

I agree with llamapoop123. I can hear your voice, yet there is nothing exciting or different about your letter to your roommate. While it is a letter to your roommate, it is also for admissions so maybe try to put something unique in it that will make you stand out.

I also don't think it is necessary to put where you go to school since the admissions will already see that in other parts of your application. Use that space for something else.

look at mine if you have time. I would love suggestions!
tennislover   
Oct 26, 2010
Undergraduate / "to be a filmmaker" - Supplement for Stanford, Intellectual Vitality [3]

I think you need to make the intellectually engaging part more clearly. I get what you are trying to say, which i think is very well written btw, but i don't see where the intellectual part comes in. I think its more emotional based than intellectual.

there's nothing more intellectually engaging than discovering what you want to do, especially when it happens in such a sudden way.

I totally agree with this! Find away to stress that in your writing. It will definitely make it stronger.
tennislover   
Oct 26, 2010
Undergraduate / Dantes inferno Bball Court -- WHY STANFORD [8]

I wrote a different why stanford essay earlier and i thought this is a much better fit.

Soo here it goes

I spent my first three weeks at Stanford University when I was fourteen. I was an incoming high school freshman taken aback by the picturesque campus with its red tiled roofs and green plains. I was overwhelmed by the feverishly peddling bikers and the excited students jumping from one fountain to another, not to mention I was taking a calculus course. The whole experience was shock, to say the least. I left that summer, eager to learn what Stanford was all about. I knew that Stanford was a prestigious university, but that meant nothing to me. I wanted to discover what was special about Stanford. I decided to embark on that 3,000 mile journey once more the following year. With the Stanford map imprinted in my brain, I was ready to discover different aspects of Stanford. One Sunday afternoon, I explored the campus to find a basketball court that was covered with the entire text of Dante's Inferno. I soon found out that this court was used to study for an exam. This instantly gave me a feel for the types of students Stanford breeds. I left that year with a clear depiction of Stanford students.

When I envision myself at a university, I don't just dream about the various courses to choose from. I dream about the discussions I will have with my fellow classmates at two in the morning when we are completely drained from a week long of classes. I do not want to go to a school where the learning stops at the door of the classroom. My surroundings should be filled with passionate and curious students who yearn to express their exciting realizations while walking on the quad. At Stanford, I know this dream will become a reality. After three summers, I have finally realizes what is special about Stanford; its people.
tennislover   
Oct 28, 2010
Undergraduate / "I have obsessive compulsive disorder" - Stanford Roomate Essay [6]

This is essay is supposed show honesty and your personality. I think you focused more on trying to impress Stanford by saying that you're a weird genius and mentioning that you're the only that can answer the gravitational force about Pluto, is coming off as a bit pretentious. Because you're righting a letter to you're Stanford roommate, you do not need to tell them how smart you are. They already know that because you got in! Show you're personality more through the ocd topic just don't try to hard to prove that you are smart.
tennislover   
Oct 28, 2010
Undergraduate / My Later Rain Greater than my Former... [4]

wow.. this is some really deep stuff. I am sooo sorry that you had to go through this.

But, ummm what exactly is this for
tennislover   
Oct 28, 2010
Undergraduate / Flying a plane for the first time-- Stanford Intellecually Engaging Essay [4]

I am not sure if I answered this supplement fully or even answered the prompt at all. PLEASE HELP!

prompt: Stanford students are widely known to possess a sense of intellectual vitality. Tell us about an idea or an experience you have had that you find intellectually engaging.

I have to admit; the first time I stepped foot on the tarmac, I was not completely focused on the task at hand. I was having one of those weeks where nothing seemed to be going right. My first aviation lesson was no exception. As I went through the flight preparation checklist, I was to inspect the integrity of the fuel. After withdrawing the fuel from the tank, I disposed the liquid on to the tarmac, only for it to travel right back into my face. This is but another example of how my week was going. Checking the wind direction was further down the checklist.

When I entered the single engine piper cub, I could not escape the thought of something going horribly wrong. All I wanted was a smooth takeoff and landing with a relaxing flight in-between. I did not think that that was too much to ask for. Of course, it was. With every air bump, I gripped that yoke as if I was fighting for my life. Every time I accidently caused the plane to descend, I felt my stomach escape down to my feet.

However despite all these little inconveniences, I kept flying that plane. I fought to overcome my bad luck to view a clear blue sky free from the hustle and bustle of city life. Traveling 2,000 feet above the ground, my awful week was put in perspective. Life's little turmoils were insignificant to the freedom that accompanies controlling your own journey. I may face some air bumps here and there, but I know that those are just part of the flight. They are the moments that will compress my intellect and challenge my emotions simply because they are intense. The intensity found in flying a plane or surviving a bad week is what makes one realize that life is more than an orderly checklist.
tennislover   
Oct 30, 2010
Undergraduate / Flying a plane for the first time-- Stanford Intellecually Engaging Essay [4]

thankss emily.

I edited it again and hopefully its a little more passionate.

I was having one of those weeks where nothing seemed to be going right. It was as if I woke up on the wrong side of the bed with a stiff neck. My first aviation lesson was no exception. As I went through the flight preparation checklist, I was to inspect the integrity of the fuel. After withdrawing the fuel from the tank, I disposed the liquid on to the tarmac, only for it to travel right back into my face. This is but another example of how my week was going.

When I entered the piper cub, I could not escape the thought of something going horribly wrong. With every air bump, I gripped that yoke as if I was fighting for my life. Every time I accidentally caused the plane to descend, I felt my stomach escape down to my feet.

However despite all these little inconveniences, I kept flying that plane. I fought to overcome my bad week to view a clear blue sky free from the hustle and bustle of city life. Traveling 2,000 feet above the ground, my awful week was put in perspective. Life's little turmoils were insignificant to the freedom that accompanies controlling my own journey. I know I can stray from the path, while still, somehow, arriving at my final destination. I may face some air bumps here and there, but I know that those are just a part of the flight. They are the moments that will compress my intellect and challenge my emotions simply because they are intense. The intensity found in flying a plane or surviving a bad week is what makes me realize that life is more than an orderly checklist. Life is about living freely, flying with the wind, not being afraid to make that 360 turn. It's about letting yourself feel those nerves as you start to release that death grip.
tennislover   
Oct 30, 2010
Undergraduate / "Homeless for a night" Stanford Essay, an experience intellectually stimulates you [11]

Your essay is really descriptive and full of details, which is probably why your over the word limit.

I had the same problem. I explained the event instead of actually explaining how i was affected by it. I think you should just get right into. Forget about the details, and talk about how this event made you step outside the box.
tennislover   
Nov 3, 2010
Undergraduate / "invaluable work ethic" - Lehigh Supplement - 150-250 words [5]

usually when you write about why a university is a good place for you, you include academics, extra curricular activities, and community service that you hope to take advantage of at the campus. I would recommend being more specific. Talk about what you hope to learn and how lehigh will help you or a activity that you're passionate about that connects with what lehigh offers.
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