Shandana
Dec 22, 2010
Undergraduate / "Haemangiomas" - evaluating a significant experience and its impact on you [3]
I think maybe you could tone down your language a bit - are you sure you want to say buffoon in an admissions essay?
And I love that you mention Shehzad Roy. Perhaps you could give a bit more detail about his foundation, and link it up to yourself. For example, you could say that like him and Abrar ul-Haq, you hope to end up in a position where you can give back to those less fortunate (and we know that there's many people who need help in Pakistan).
Hope that helps (L
I think maybe you could tone down your language a bit - are you sure you want to say buffoon in an admissions essay?
And I love that you mention Shehzad Roy. Perhaps you could give a bit more detail about his foundation, and link it up to yourself. For example, you could say that like him and Abrar ul-Haq, you hope to end up in a position where you can give back to those less fortunate (and we know that there's many people who need help in Pakistan).
Hope that helps (L