Undergraduate / "duty as a stock manager" - working skills, experience, Syracuse Supplement question [5]

Is this a good answer to this question?

If you have had work experience, what skills and/or knowledge did you gain?

I first opened my eyes during the summer of 2008. Due to the recession I understood that my parents would not be able to support me forever. After this realization I applied for my first of several jobs I would attend during high-school. I applied to work as a paid intern for a computer repair company. I gained the skills to understand the underling structure of many electronics and how to repair them. I later used these skills to build my own custom made computer that to this day is still at the peek of technology. I later worked as an accounting clerk for a stock broker. It allowed me to use the knowledge I procured from class into practice. It gave me real world experience and knowledge in a fascinating field of business. I then began working for my boss as a cold caller; as I tried to procure clients for my employer over the telephone I learnt how to deal with different people in different ways. I was taught how to use psychology and well timed rebuttals in order to get the information I needed from potential clients. I am now an employee of CVS/Pharmacy. As stock manager I have learnt how to work the logistics of a store and a business. It has further accelerated my accounting skills because I do up to one thousand dollars in transactions hourly. My final duty as a stock manager is to calculate our stores S.H.R.I.N.K. This is our stores lost per hour due to shoplifting and misplaced products and is calculated by using a slew of mathematical functions. This has given me the knowledge to use {such as logarithms} in a practical way. Last but not least, these different work experiences have given me the ability to be self sufficient and skilled for the future job market.

Undergraduate / Rather Have One Of What He Worked....Nine Of It Given To Him~~Common App Essay [3]

Please all constructive comments are welcome!

As a child, I would sit on my Grandfather's lap while he read to me. I remember almost
nothing of what we learned together; however, one snowy Sunday afternoon, he opened
up the Talmud and taught me an anecdote. "A man would rather receive one of what he
worked for than have nine of it given to him." At first, I thought of this in the most
practical way. I mean, hey, I'd rather have nine dollars than one dollar. I thought this was written by someone who had no idea what he was talking about. Afterwards, I

didn't give the quote much though; however, that changed when I started my first job.

I was always interested in computers and even more interested in making money,
so I combined the two together and applied for a job at a computer repair store. Over the
summer, my interest in computers became a love of computers. I was no longer satisfied
with fixing other's computers, I decided it was my turn to reap the benefits of my
knowledge; I was going to build my own computer. However, there was one obstacle
impeding my path in accomplishing my objective, I knew nothing about hardware.
Nevertheless, I wouldn't let that stop me, I had my mind on something and I was going to
accomplish it. I rented out a stack of "For Dummies" books that dealt with computer
hardware, from books about binary code to water-cooling my system. I also stayed after
my working hours at the computer shop where my boss would give me lessons on
computer hardware. After about two weeks of research, reading and lessons I knew I was
ready to get started. For about a week straight I was on the internet looking up specs for
the best computer and making sure they were compatible. I hit several bumps in the road
{such as funding} but I didn't let them deter me. After two weeks I had all the parts on
my library table. It took me thirteen hours and twenty-seven minutes to finally complete
my masterpiece; to combine the best computer parts into one system.

Now you may be
wondering what my introductory quote had to do with anything. My original plan for my
desktop was to sell it. I put it up for sale on eBay after a month of use. Needless to say,
because of its specs and mint condition, the computer auction went to $2800. This was
amazing because I would have made a $1000 profit. As the action was about to end, I
took a good look at my computer, the one I spend my entire summer creating, researching
and buying. Then I took a good look at the auction and I said to myself, "I can always
make a $1000 dollars another day." I canceled the auction an hour before it ended, and to
this day it is in my room as my most prized possession. The possession I worked for. It is
worth more to me than just its "weight in gold". Every time I look at my computer I
understand the truth behind that 2000 year old saying: "A man would rather receive one
of what he worked for then have nine of it given to him."

Undergraduate / 'This university doesn't have the business major' - transfer ESSAY [3]

All constructive help appreciated

Inventor Charles F. Kettering once said "Every father should remember that one day his son will follow his example instead of his advice". This quote I once read in my library's Time magazine archive has resonated in me for years now; however it is only recently that this anecdote has found a special place in my heart, for it reminds me of a time where my father was in University. My father, a person I aspire to be like one day, was in University in war torn Iran during the First Persian gulf war in 1980; although all the odds were against him he stuck to his studies and through hard work and resilience he received an acceptance from New York University Stern School of Business as an international student, something very difficult to achieve even on this present day. Although due to political reasons he was never able to attend nonetheless, he still regards it as one of his greatest accomplishments. Now, now as a University student abroad in Israel I am beginning to follow my father's example and take my studies seriously. Being on my own for a year has thrust my cognition to a new level, my father struggled in college, stayed up late nights and always put his academics first and as a result is a successful business man to this day. I now understand the reason behind my father's studies in his college years and the importance of attending a respectable university. Through hard work and determination, my university studies are now at a high level and a level I know I can maintain. I now understand what the best is for me with my more mature outlook on life; as a result I know that transferring to a fine institution as your's can help me be all I can be. Although the university I am currently enrolled in is a fine institution in itself, unfortunately it doesn't have the business major, the major I wish to receive my B.A. in, in English. I am also looking for a university with a much broader campus life, a campus where I can make friendships that will last me a lifetime. Untimely I know that attending an institution with a strong business program can set my life on a path of success and even vicariously fulfill my father's dream of attending a top university business program and embody the quote "Every father should remember that one day his son will follow his example instead of his advice".