Undergraduate / "I love to take long walks" - My Yale [8]

Ok i just wrote this in my usaul tone so please try to help me edit this. Plus I'm kinda freacking out about applications so don't be too harsh

I love to take long walks

The hot, barren ambiance that cascades over the Ghanaian dust bowl, the boisterous streets of Jamaica New York with its hints of iniquity and disgust, and the definitive beauty of Maryland's placid nature and its haven for tranquility all encompass my ever-changing world. This world has taught me to perceive beauty in desolation, to grasp Theroux's "simplicity, simplicity, simplicity" when surrounded by the gratuitous complexities of municipality, and to find solitude in accepting my insignificance when surrounded by nature's true beauty and its inherent placidity. I have attained these lessons only though my compulsion to explore or, what is coined by the selective populace on dating sites as "I love to take long walks".

Even today I still hold the urge to take long walks. I've realized that I do so not to escape situations of distress and discomfort but to search for an answer. When I strolled down the unpaved roads of Ghana I met wise men who truly understood the country's beauty. When they walked out every morning they didn't huddle to their cars rushing to go to work, rather they saw the sun thrown far across the horizon, vibrant with light and color, and felt like it was placed there just to make them smile. When I walked down the sullied roads of Jamaica New York I met poets who viewed street violence and hood culture as the archetype of true humanity and acknowledged the city for its rat race culture. These lessons combined with my family's compassion, motivation, and slight aggravations establish my dreams and aspirations. My Ghanaian culture forces me to aspire to greatness, to combat the stigma that those who remain rooted in Africa hold no place among the world's elite and can never contribute to the archetype of success and intellectualism. My perception of urban culture forces me to grasp the human condition, I understand our compulsion for injustice and yet I extol our ability to realize integrity and morality. Such perception also allows me to attempt to attain integrity, sincerity and other characteristics of morality. Walking through my ever-changing world forces me to aspire to greatness and become a better person, but after all I still just love to take long walks

Undergraduate / "My Epiphany" - Yale Engineering supplement [2]

Someone, anyone please help me make this better.
Prompt: If you selected one of the engineering majors, please write a brief third essay telling us what has led you to an interest in this field of study, what experiences (if any) you have had in engineering, and what it is about Yale's engineering program that appeals to you.

My Epiphany
I am 9 years old; I hear the lunch bell and shrug out of contempt for its ability to drag me back to class without my consent, like a pin pulled to a magnet. I look up and feel the summer breeze hit my face, keeping my eyelids from closing shut. My friend Ben, across the table, continues his rant on the black power ranger's superiority over the red power ranger's redundant one line clichés (even though he is clearly wrong). Out of urgency I leave poor Ben to dwell in his state of delirium and rush back to class.

I rush through the door with two friends behind me and see my classmates fettered to their seats with blank faces, awaiting the teacher's instruction with the intent of blind obedience. At the instant I sit down, Mr. Owusu screams in his usual reverberating tone "Today we're going to play a game; well... it's more of a competition than a game". We look at each other with what seemed to be fear, but also anticipation. He then attempts to comfort us by saying "don't be scared, I promise it'll be fun" but can't escape the thunder in his voice. He continues "Ok this is how it's going to work, we're going take our planned quiz and the top three scorers will come in front of the class and battle for the title of mathematics champion, doesn't that sound good?" There is some argument but he still passes out the quiz. He rapidly grades our quizzes after we're done and walks to the front of the class and calls out the names. "Ok, the three highest scorers are Ben, Jessica, and Gracious". I was shocked and I tried to conceal my elation, but I couldn't stop smiling. I walk up and face my classmates and with fear I wait for the first question. He asks "There are 54 pencils in each box. How many pencils are in 7 boxes?" I quickly shut my eyes and think "Ok Gracious what should you do, if 6 times 7 is 42, then 60 times 7 is 420, and if I subtract 42 from 420 then I get. . ." I opened my eyes and screamed 378. Apparently I answered this question in less than 2 seconds and my classmates stared at me with their mouths agape and faces shocked.

Ever since I was a child I cowered in the comfort of logic and mathematics, I held a zeal for mathematics and problem solving. When I realized that the field of engineering harnessed this talent and my gift I clung to it with a child like alacrity and never let go. To glimpse the reality of engineering I participated in the Architecture Construction and Engineering mentor program under Bechtel Corporation and I loved it. Yale's professors hold my passion for engineering and mathematics. The way they speak of Johannes Kepler, Niels Bohr, Micheal Faraday, and Einstein reveals a zeal for science and mathematics that they could never escape. When I imagine the knowledge and challenge waiting for me at Yale I realize that I will never escape my love for science and mathematics.

Undergraduate / "the books in Linsly-Chittenden hall and the walls of Paul-Rudolf" - MY WHY YALE? [7]

I really need the help so tear this to shreads.

Prompt: What in particular about Yale has influenced your decision to apply? Please limit your response to the space provided.

Two years ago my uncle graduated from Yale University and after my parents incessant shrieks as he walked the podium to get his diploma the commencement speaker spoke words that stood out to me even when buried beneath a plethora of verbosity and evocative diction. She said "Yale University is an institution that prides itself not just on selecting the best but making them great". This meant a lot to me and ever since I have dreamt and hoped that the books in Linsly-Chittenden hall and the walls of Paul-Rudolf hall will someday challenge me and out of triumph I will also stand on that podium proud as a Yale alum