Writing Feedback / Essay about Prevention and Health Education is better than cure [5]

Hi all, I am a new comer. I just feel that this is a really useful forum then wanted to join. This is my first essay and I hope to get your comment for a better writing. Many thanks for all!

"Prevention is better than cure", Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Prevention is better than cure; however, I am personally not for the idea that government should transfer large part of its health budget now spent on treatment to health education and preventive measures.

The first reason is that funding for treatment is always important and more investment is needed everyday for further achievement in this area. There should be more money to invest in medical education, in building hospitals and buying new medical equipments as well as to invest in research on new medicine and new therapies. Just think about the death toll every minute because the patients cannot get the best treatment due to poor infrastructure then we could see how necessary more money should be poured into this field.

One more justification is that money spent on health education and preventive measures should be taken from other sources rather than from treatment's budget. Many countries now seem to waste so much time, money and resources for weapons and wars which would be more effectively applied for health education and preventive measures. As a result of this, treatment and health education can at the same time achieve their goals without making any influence on other aspect.

In a nutshell, both medical treatment and health education of a country should be taken into consideration by its government.

Writing Feedback / The Internet has transformed lives and economies_Essay [8]

The Internet has transformed lives and economies but it turning the world into a global village. Soon everybody will think and behave in the same way.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Please help me to have a better essay á well as better writing. Many thanks to all!

The Internet has such an important role that no one could deny. It brings great changes in lives and economies all over the world and connects people, makes them get closer as all are living in a global village. However, I personally think that the Internet still cannot make every one think and behave the same.

First of all, the invention of the Internet does much help to bring a better world to most of people. Just with a computer connected to the Internet, people can connect with many other people from many other places, even areas which are far distant from them. As a result of this, people all around the world can easily share things in life such as hobbies, lifestyles, cultures ... and the more important thing is that they can update the technologies and support one another in order to make a better world. With the Internet, distance is no longer a barrier to the communication among different nations, they seems to live in a global village.

However, it is not likely that in the soon time, everybody will think and act in the same way. In the more developed society, people have the trend to express themselves more strongly which could some how make them outstanding among the others. And the Internet in this case has no related effects to make people act in the same way. May be, in the further future, when the Global village as mentioned above developed to a very higher level (when every one in this society are all satisfied with their life) then, people might behave in the same way.

In a nutshell, Internet has changed the world. It connects people all around the world, makes them closer, and gives them the easier chance to support the weaker. However, in the soon time, it is not likely to make every one think and act the same.

Writing Feedback / IELTS:High sales of popular consumer goods and power of advertising [4]

Hi all,
Help me to correct this! Many thanks in advance!

The prompt:
Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of the advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

With improvement in living standard, the volume of consumer goods is gaining considerably. Many people are of the opinion that this increasing volume is the result of advertising technology rather than the real needs of society. I am personally against this and think that people really desire to buy more goods nowadays.

First of all, we could not deny the great power of advertising. This is really one of the motivations for good consumption. Advertising brings customers convenience in their purchasing by telling them the new-launched products and main features of them just by sitting in front of a television, computer or just by listening to the radio. Advertising also contribute partly to the desire of customers in buying a product. This case happens more often to the categories with their idols using the products. They would like to mimic them, sometimes just want to be as fashionable as superstars.

However, in my own opinion, I think that a large part of the vast goods consumed nowadays is still the result of people's real needs. Advertising today is attractive and charming but consumers are getting wiser in their purchase. They may like watching the advertisements, they may staring hours at a poster or banner and admire them much but finally, the needs will the main factor leading to their decision in buying a products. Needs here is not only the basic demand, it can be also the needs to be outstanding, to be sophisticated and fashionable.

In a nut shell, people are now active in their expenditure. Advertising is just a motivation for larger amount of the consumption; it makes no force on the customers in their purchasing. Consumers themselves have the right to decide what to buy due to their needs, with needs here is defined as above.