Writing Feedback / IELTS-schools should only teach students skill not ethical value? [4]

Schools should be responsible only for teaching academic skills and not for teaching ethical and social values?

As nations confronting an issue of moral collapse, leaving the traditional form of education-academic orientation questioned, some people claim that proper balance should be found by the way of addressing more on ethic and social value in the process of teaching. While others think it should be best left up to their parents. I support the former opinion.

One of the reasons for my belief is that students of all ages spend more time at school than other places, so institutions are having profound influence on the modeling of students. In addition, the uniqueness of school is that it is akin to a community where it could be seen as the snapshot of children adult life, meaning some of their behaviour would, in all likelihood, be projected in to their life afterward. The stain found by the teacher on one's personality would be enlarged if the teacher had not making any efforts to mop it away. For example, if we take look at the school history of some convicts who committed a violent crime, we would be be able to amass an overwhelming body of evidence that shows that they treated their peers disrespectfully and intolerably, resulting in their wrongdoings years later.

Another reason for my belief is that with the bulging flow of information that need to be processed nowadays, the more they have learnt, the more skilled they would be, however, the issue that hoe to use the knowledge and skill to contribute to the best interest of society rather than doing harms to others for their own sake is a big conundrum, again, teachers play an vital role in engendering students to live up to their best potential for the benefits of society as whole.

In conclusion, although in an area of democratic society, people are allowed to be different with varied traits, that is not an excuse to rationalize disrespectful and intolerable behaviour, therefore, some basic values are obliging to be taught by the school.

Writing Feedback / IELTS-what factors determine one's value to the society? is it wages? [4]

Some believe that one's value to the society hinges on his or her wages. I agree with the speaker, insofar, as at least, how much a boss willing to pay means how valuable the employee is to his/her business. However, employee's value to a company can not simply be comprehended in the same way as their value to the society as whole.

One of the reasons for my belief is that a high pay does not necessarily generate a positive value to the community. For example, people who doing the business of illegal drug trafficking or prostitution, earns, in all likelihood, more than an average person, considering the risk taken. But can we say that they are more valuable than most of us? I doubt it. Then that is where the question of what are the guages to one's value to the community comes in to play, contribution is a decisive factor, which could be both tangible and intangible in nature. For instance, donation can be expected as one of the intangible venues of contributing to the society. In this case, people's value would be measured by the mount of money he/she gives to the charity.

Another reason for my belief is that although an invaluable individual's contribution could be calculated mathematically, there are some of the intangible ways of committing oneself to the community that can not be ruled out. Parenting is an excellent one. Its is intangible with no dollar amount pegged, but having a tangible effects on modeling the next generation, which would otherwise be devastating to the harmonies of the society, if they had been left unconstrained.

In conclusion, it would be far too narrowed, if we view one's value based on his/her paycheck. It is the contribution made by us that determines what is our intrinsic value to the community.

it would be mostly helpful, if someone could help me to amend my essay, thanks.

Writing Feedback / IELTS-scientific research not driven for economic benefits should be suspended? [4]

Scientific research in terms of the world economy and customer's buying trend has helped the scientist to develop the variety of economic model, supply and demand model or customer behaviour model, being one such example. However, if the scientific research not driven for economic benefits should be suspended is a divisive one, i believe that financial concern should not be the only cause when it comes to scientific research.

One of the reasons for my belief is that without other subjects studying such as health, environmental pollution,and energy crisis laying the groundwork for sustainable development, no economic model can be built. For example, on the back of manufacturing boom, everyone knows how supply&demand model works, and wants to capitalize on it by simply producing what meet the public needs with the spate of material imported and exported on the daily basis. But is there an infinite mount of resources left up to us? I doubt it. Lack of the knowledge in relation to mounts of resources available, rational mining and renewable energy can expect the exploration of natural resources going in to overdrive. As result of it, more volatility would be added in to world economy alongside tens of thousands of life endangering.

Another reason for my belief is that appreciation to the merits of some scientific studying such as exploring outerspace, gene modification , clone, which can not be guaged mathematically has matured steadily, as it has profound effects on the livelihood of our descendants who will count on us to be thriving.

In conclusion, due to the widespread understanding that economically viable research is a lengthy and time- consuming process, it is natural that some would be opposed to the idea of splashing on scientific research. However, i believe that the rewards from those studying are well worth waiting for in this ever changing world of ours.

it would be mostly helpful, if someone could be help me improve my essay. Thanks.

Writing Feedback / ielts- the importance of zoos and confinement of animal [NEW]

Zoos nowadays have always generated a mixed feelings when it comes to education and equity among all creatures. While the zoo industry is starting to blossom, some may argue that the idea of keeping animal in the cage may have been divorced from our thoughts in the first place which is to educate and protect.

Admittedly , there are number of benefits associated with running a zoo. Firstly, zoo can be very educative in the way that it allows people to get to know our mother nature ( can you suggest a better sentence to replace the"get to know") within our own suburb rather than wild fields which my be dangerous to go. Secondly, zoo plays a vital role in preserving the population of those animals in danger of extinction. Foe example, pandas are viwed as the most valuable animal in china, and there has been less than hundreds of them that are still alive across the world, due to illegal poaching, and man's ongoing expansion in to what were once their habitats. Therefore,. Zoo has been the first p;ace to shelter them from being killed. What's more, zoo can also help to purify the city which has been immersed deeply in hectic life pace, pollution from tailpipe, and noise from construction site.

Nevertheless, people who arguing against the idea mentioned above claims that It is unfair confine animals in an area merely larger than a prison for mankind own sake. And zoos are also blamed for that it rationalize people's killing to animals, because after had seen animals living in captivity, people are prone to think that being an animal ourself at the top of food chain, we would not only have the rights to lock them up, but also to kill any of them.

In conclusion, zoos would be phased out one day when humanbeing will no longer interfere the balance of ecosystem, whereas, with by far, zoo is still bing needed in terms of raising public awareness of the significance of preserving animals and lifting the population of animals in danger.