Undergraduate / 'Science has been my passion' - Wisconsin-madison STATEMENT [3]

Hey guys, i made an essay for the following statement:
The University values an educational environment that provides all members of the campus community with opportunities to grow and develop intellectually, personally, culturally and socially. In order to give us a more complete picture of you as an individual, please tell us about the particular life experiences, perspectives, talents, commitments and/or interests you will bring to our campus. In other words, how will your presence enrich our community?

MY response:
Having lived in a country like Singapore, I have been exposed to a myriad of people, cultures and backgrounds from all over the world. It has been a very eye-opening experience and I feel it can help me easily adapt to life at a new place like University of Wisconsin. With my knowledge, I can also help others overcome any difficulties.

During high school, I was a director of International understanding on the Rotary Club. My duty entailed me to organize trips overseas to increase the understanding of other cultures and humans while doing socially valuable work in that country. Along with the other board members, I planned a trip to Vietnam to do social work at a local orphanage there. We collected old items (clothes, bags, etc.) from my school-mates in Singapore for two weeks to give to the children at the orphanage. The trip was four days long, but I felt it was once-in-a-lifetime experience. We also did other work (cleaning the place, painting walls, installing water distillation plant, etc) at the orphanage and at times, it was rather tedious and tiring. But, it all paid off when we saw the smiles of gratitude on the faces of the young children. That moment taught me that life is not all about the number of days one lives, but the amount of life present in one's days. With my passion for helping and understanding other people and cultures, I feel I can contribute to Wisconsin deeply in terms of social work and cultural development.

From childhood, football (soccer) has been my favourite pastime. I have played for my school teams and for a brief period of 4-5 months, I have played for a local club, Tampines Rovers for the Under-18 team. However, my most successful moment came during my first year of high school when we won the inter-school tournament competing against 12 other schools and I was the top scorer with 10 goals. I felt extremely proud and happy. I understand from this experience more than just feelings. I realised the importance of team-work and training. When I join Wisconsin, I hope to join the soccer team and continue achieving and learning new things from playing with my team-mates.

Science has been my passion since young. I read encyclopaedias at home and was fascinated to learn 'how things work' that I read. The possibility of discovery and learning something new was what I loved about science so much. Thus, I chose extended essay in physics as my research during the International Baccalaureate course (high school equivalent). My research topic was about investigating eddy currents and their effects on aluminium. The results of the experiment fascinated me and further enhance my interest and curiosity.

I would like it if you guys coudl tell me any corrections and if this essay can get me in! thanks!really need it.

I am quite impressed with the clear values and aims presented on your web site and keen to join given an admission. With my experiences, passions and values, I feel I can also add to the overall Wisconsin 'Experience'.

Undergraduate / I want to change this world; Illinois ESSAY PROMPT#1: [8]

ESSAY #1: In an essay of 300 words or less, please describe how your past circumstances and experiences (such as your upbringing, community, and/or activities) impacted who you are, your future goals, and your choice of major. If you haven't decided on a college or major yet, briefly explain your intentions and aspirations for your first year at Illinois.

The feeling of solving a mind-boggling calculus problem or discovering the structure of graphene for the first time is simply exciting. There is an inherent beauty in those feelings which bring out my deep analytical nature. I've chosen to pursue computer science for computers are endlessly fascinating. The possibilities are only limited by the human mind. But if I really 'just' wanted to learn computer science, why not go to a library? And borrow some books? Why did I choose to go to a university miles away from the comfort of home?

As Thomas Edison once said, 'Necessity is the mother of all invention'. For me, Ramu was my necessity.
In my hometown, Hyderabad, There was a boy, 2 years younger than me, Ramu, who sold storybooks by foot to earn money for his sick mother's treatment, toiling for long, arduous hours. I admired his bravery but it shattered me that our destinies were so different. He was never going to receive the education and opportunities I have. For some divine reason, I got the opportunity this amazing boy did not have and I had to make the most out of my life-not for myself, but for Ramu and for every other street kid.

It didn't make sense that the world I come from cannot give education to young individuals like Ramu. Inside me, I felt a genuine desire to grow and make the world a better place. I want to pursue an engineering degree in Illinois to shape the world into a beautiful place where all can learn and grow, with equal opportunity. I want to change this world. I wish to make sure that every 'Ramu' out there can get an education and fulfil their dreams for everyone is worth a shot.

Undergraduate / Illinois ESSAY PROMPT#2: One for all, All for one [2]

ESSAY #2: In an essay of 300 words or less, tell us something about yourself that isn't covered elsewhere in this application, some interest or experience of yours that you think the University of Illinois should know about as part of the admissions review.

In my time in the army, nothing was more important than the man next to us. We enjoyed together and we suffered together. The final 24 kilometer route march after which we would pass out as trained soldiers was particularly memorable for me.

My buddy's blisters were acting up and he was on the verge of falling out at the 16 km mark. However, I could not let him fall out; especially after all he had been through. I yelled, 'C'mon Jeff, keep going...No brain, no pain!'. I can still remember holding his hand throughout the final 8 km and pushing him on. Step by step, we reached the end point. Towards the end, my cramps got worse but Jeff and I pushed each other all the way to the finish, for we knew if we let each other give up then, we let each other down as friends. It took the life out of us, but we did it.

There was a saying in the army: 'do it for the guy next to you'. It was after the route march I realized the meaning behind these words- Life is not about ourselves, it is about the 'guy' next to us. It's about pushing each other to our limits and never giving up. After all, what is the pinnacle worth if one has nobody to share the view with?

I am proud to have been able to motivate and push my friends during times of adversity. It gives me great confidence and self-esteem to know that I can change someone's life and push them to reach their goals. I am more confident now in my ability to lead and inspire a group because of my experiences in the army. I look forward to reaching new heights at Illinois, together with the rest of the school.

Undergraduate / My brother's influence on me; TEXAS App/ Person who impacted my life [2]

Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.

As children, I was always doted on the most and my brother was the one who shouldered all the responsibility. He took the blame for my shenanigans too from my parents. 'You should be teaching your brother good behavior Raghuram!!' echoed the voice of my father while I just stood there with my best 'i-don't-know-anything' face. He was expected to be perfect with a lot of responsibility on him but he took it like a man. It was harsh on him but he learnt to push aside his feelings and get the job done from a very young age.

Naturally, he went very hard on me. He believed in a life with morals and values. Integrity was more than just a word for him. If I was not in the right frame of mind, if I was on the wrong page, if I took unknown liberties with my life or strayed the wrong way, he was always there, out of nowhere. I fought against him and detested this 'life of morals'. It didn't appeal to a boy who never felt the pinch of Life.

Looking back though, he was pivotal in my life. In a world where it is so easy to get lost, he provided the steel in my character and resilience in my nature. I learnt that it takes more than a dream to succeed in Life. It takes sacrifices and tremendous hard work. Like my brother always told me,' to get some things in life, you need to give up some things.' I have come a long way from a care free kid but I will never forget that nor will I forget the influence he had on me as a brother.