Undergraduate / 'Are there any borders?' - genetic engineering essay [6]

thanks for your comments !

Writing Feedback / 'Making cement, limestone and clay' - the IELTS Exam [5]

it's a nice paragraph actually but i have some comments:
. "products of this step pass to a grinder and then becoming the cement production." it's better : become

."whichwe combine 15% of cement,10% of water, 25% of sand and 50% of small stones or so-called gravel" my suggestion:
where 15% of cement,10% of water, 25% of sand and 50% of small stones or so-called gravel are combined together

.it's better to say instead of all of these materials: This combination is mixed in a concrete mixture for a specific time where it comes out for building process.

."Those two picturesummaring the processes to produce cement and concrete. The difference between them is the appearence of heat in the cement production.

better to say:
those two pictures summarize the production process of cement and concrete that differs only in the appearance of heat in the cement production

. in general the ideas are good and well displayed but watch out for:
-repetition of certain words
- some weak structures
- spelling mistakes
good luck:)

Writing Feedback / An Entrance Exam to Enter a University essay [4]

you're essay is good , but you have some mistakes :
- "There are many reasons that university should be mandatory for all students to take an entrance exam. "
correction: : There are many reasons justify the idea of making universities mandatory for all students to take an entrance exam.

-"First, an entrance exam can determine how students are interested to that university and career their pursuit."
correction:First, an entrance exam can determine the student's tendencies towards the collage or career they pursuit. .

-"There are many students applying to a wrong university and career because of their parent would like them to going to that university, or their friends are going to that university, or they can get financial aid or scholarship from that university."

correction:There are many students applying to a wrong university or career because of their parents' desire , friends' decision, or financial aid and scholarships offered by such a university.

-"for a student really likes to be a student of that university, he/she will study and prepare their best to become that university's student."

correction: : If a student really likes to enter a certain university, he'll try his best and study really hard to fulfill his wish.

-" In addition, an entrance exam can help university find out the best students. These students will be get scholarship from university, government, or companies let them can spend their time into study or innovations. Social would to train these students to be the best to help our world."

correction : In addition, an entrance exam can help the university choose the best students where they get scholarships from it and from governments, companies... so that they can spend their time in studying or innovations to be the best to help our world.

-"Finally, an entrance exam can balance and improve work environment. Each student has different future dreams. They will look for university and career they would like to be. An entrance exam could not hinder these students' dream. It will help students take more seriously on their career and future. Even though, many students feel an entrance exam might not fair for below average students. They may not pass the entrance exam to get into the university that they dream. Nothing is impossible and your dream will come true if you do it seriously."

correction:Finally, an entrance exam can balance and improve the work and environment . It can also push the students into being more serious about their career and future. It can never hinder their dreams even though many feel it's not fair for below average students. They might think they're not going to pass to get into the university of their dream, but a little more determination will drive these thoughts right away

WATCH OUR FOR:
- GRAMMAR MISTAKES
- WEAK STRUCTURES
- SUBJECT VERB AGREEMENT MISTAKES
- FRAGMENTS.

GOOD LUCK :)

Book Reports / Pride and Prejudice Essay - Thesis and Idea Revising [2]

Your thesis statement is nice and strong but i read the story and i think it's better to write your thesis statement and your introduction about how love can change a person's attitude or behavior ... maybe u should mention something like: jane austen personalize the idea that we never know for whom our heart will beat...

i hope i've helped a little:)

Writing Feedback / Euthanasia: for or against? Is it a solution for those terminally ill? [4]

Your essay is outstanding but you can also mention that :
A person's life or death is related to GOD's will so if any one is dead, it's said that god had ended his life, but no one ever knows when a person will die , that's why we can't just kill them because he might wake up at any minute. As long as he's alive, it's up to GOD to end his life not US.!

u can also mention some realistic examples to strengthen your point of view like:
Sidney Cotten...he was in a coma and every one thought he was going to die, but they didn't accept applying euthanasia and eventually he woke up and he lived again, so if euthanasia was applied, they'd have ended the life of this man too soon.!

Undergraduate / 'Are there any borders?' - genetic engineering essay [6]

but i wrote essay/paragraph in the before the essay if u noticed...!

Writing Feedback / Euthanasia: for or against? Is it a solution for those terminally ill? [4]

any time:)

Undergraduate / 'Are there any borders?' - genetic engineering essay [6]

thanks it really does!:)

Writing Feedback / Tolerance, driving the road of life - essay [4]

thx all:)

Undergraduate / 'He always encouraged me to be a computer scientist' - influential person for me [16]

here are some suggestions:

I still remember my inspiration to pursue a career in computer science; a computer science teacher who was one of my family and neighbors. He was great at simplifying the subject's materials, making them more fun and exciting. He informed me about the subject and how it blends mathematics and science with their application on real world problems. For example, the mathematical algorithms used in web search engines, OR computer modelling /simulation in weather forecasting. He used to encourage me to be a computer scientist after he saw my passion for it.

number of words: 93 including dots and commas:)
hope it helps:)

Writing Feedback / THEY SAY LIFE IS HARD - essay [8]

thx sara:)