Writing Feedback / 'a personal style statement' - it is important to follow fashion? [3]

Fashion is growing around the world. It is a testimony of how our culture had been developed. We can see the development of our culture by its fashion. For example the dress from years ago with the dress in this year is so different. People always renew the style to be more comfortable and better to use and started to leave the old style. It shows that fashion is growing continuously every year. But now, with its fast growing, many people tend to update on every new trend and use it without consider the personality. And here I believe that to take updating in fashion is necessary but, being updated in fashion without considering the personality would make the loose of identity.

Nowadays, many people tend to lose their self and become somebody else because of many interesting products are offered by television and magazine. There are many good and brands of clothes, shoes, accessories, make ups, and even cell phones. And how people would not want to have those same good and branded stuffs, if it is often have famous people or favorite actresses and actors as its model?. Often fans of one particular actress followed how the actress dresses from head to toe. And it seems that the fans do not know who they are and want to become like the actress. And that is the wrong thing to do. Because, people do not have to become someone else to be updated in fashion and have good style.

Updating in fashion does not mean by following every single detail of the newest trend's offer by Media such as magazine and television too. Trend is the latest and newest fashion style which is famous at the time. Following trends blindly is wrong. Because, people who are wearing exactly the same like other people without seeing that it is suit the body and reflect the personality or not, is a complete disaster. It makes people lose the identity and not become who truly they are. Every people have to be different and have style of their own that reflects their personality and not just follow every fashion's offer directly. Where is the uniqueness as one person, if it looks the same as the other million people?

In conclusion, I think fashion is all about making a personal style statement. It is necessary to follow fashion to not become left behind but, people have to be pickier to choose fashion. Do not be too easy to follow every new trend. Those who do not know the actual meaning of fashion, will go through every trend and become the same as million other people that use the same trend at the time. People have to create the style that shows their true personality.

Writing Feedback / Both - the traditional and the international music brings people together. [3]

Hi all! anyone please help me to correct my essay please? its due to next week.
sentenses, vocabulary words, and grammar..
I will greatly apreciate your help!

Music takes a great part in our life. People are playing music everywhere, in a car, house, bank, supermarket, grocery store even in the office. Music could also delight the mood when people are stressed and makes all kind of mood. Although different people like different music, music could brings people to communication and brings different people together. There are two kind of music, first is traditional music which owned by each country and second is the international music one which almost all people around the world know and accept it. I believe that the Music takes a great part in our life. People are playing music everywhere, in a car, traditional music is the same as important as the international music one.

Music has been an expression of many people from different cultures around the world since years even centuries ago. Music is created by cultures and music creates cultures itself. Every country has it unique traditional music also with its traditional instruments. Listening to the traditional music and looking to the traditional instruments, people could guess what type of culture, and what country is from. For example people know that "Country Music" is from America and Indonesia has many traditional instruments, two of them are "Angklung" and "Gamelan". Traditional music is very important because people could see an original cultural scene of a country expands from it. It is also could be as an identity or the uniqueness of a country.

Modern music that people often hear nowadays is an international music such as pop, rock, jazz, etc. Although it does not represents a country and social culture, many young people like this music most then the traditional one. With the modern music, the young generation could express themselves freely and it is good for the development of music in the world. Young generation combined those genres and makes the new genres. The international music also needed and has become basically used for business globalization, a way of earning money, and also for the entertainment.

In conclusion, both traditional music and the international music are very important. With the traditional music, people could see the uniqueness of a country. Also shows the culture and history of a country itself. The international music (modern music) also important because with the international music, the young generation could express their expressions more freely, makes music development better in years, and discovers more new kind of music and genre. And the last, both kind of music have one same important reason why they are exist. That's to bring people together.

Writing Feedback / Character Is a Crucial Thing in a Fiction Story [3]

need help! correct my essay please... Sentenses, vocabulary words, and grammar.
I will greatly apreciate your help. thank you.

Character Is a Crucial Thing in a Fiction Story

First of all, fiction is a story based on the author's imagination. Nowadays, people are familiar with this kind of story. Many movies are based on fiction stories. Some people say that not all of fiction needs characters because fiction also works well without characters. Using dead object just like in a science fiction. The other say, fiction without characters will not make the best fiction story because the story will not go well without its living object (human being).

In a science fiction, the story with no human characters is a possible thing to make. Looking for examples of science fiction in which there are no human characters, and the entire cast, so to speak, is made up of alien beings. But off the top of it, can come up with a few examples, books where long sequences are conducted without human involvement: 1. The middle section in Asimov's The Gods Themselves, 2. All the stuff about the alien army in Zahn's Conquerors Trilogy before anybody figures out the communication thing, 3. That crap Piers Anthony wrote about the intelligent musical lawn mowers or whatever the hell it was. I also thought of the creepy Ray Bradbury story about the unoccupied robot-house, but that doesn't have any characters at all (except for Time and Regret and other metaphorical presences).

Dozens of elements go into novels, into crafting quality fiction. Beside plot and setting, characters deserve a great deal of attention. Character helps the readers more relates to the story. The reader comes to a novel or prose to be entertained, to pass time, to lose themmselves in a world different from their own. The readers want to imagine themselves as the lead character, having exploits, going places they may never visit in their real life. The readers wants to identify with a person other than themselves, experience events far from those of their daily life, become immersed in a new country or city or world and wants them realistic enough that they can become lost in the fiction.

In conclusion of this, the author who wants to create great stories must characterize well. Characters will build the story. Through characters, there will be person who spoke the dialogue, who happens to do something, and who experience things. Even in a science fiction which has characters has became good science fictions than science fiction which not have characters in it. So, here I believe that to make a good fiction story, using characters is a crucial thing.

Writing Feedback / Hat culture in Britain essay. [5]

please help with my essay. its due to next week. sentences, vocabulary words, grammar.
need advice too. any help will be appreciated..

One of the famous and interesting characteristic that Britain has is "Hat". The hat statement itself can not be apart from Britain. In Britain not only hat is the culture for British people but also can be lead to a fashion statement. British are very famous with their hat culture. There are many kinds of hat from Britain which is now often been used as a fashion accessories in around the world.

Theories abound as to why the Brits are so obsessed with hats, with some saying the island's lousy weather might be a cause, while experts say it's the royal family that has kept it alive. When we talk about hat in Britain or British hat, sure our imagination is direct to the Royal Wedding hats like we had seen before in Princess Kate Middleton and Prince William's wedding last 29th, April 2011. It was a phenomenal event which was all women in Royal Family and almost all the guests used hats. The Royal Family itself has long history about hat. The Queen Elizabeth I, was one fan of Peacock-ish hat. And the Queen Elizabeth II herself has been worn 50 thousand hats in this last 50 years.

At first there was that time when Anglican Church made the obligation about wearing hat when woman come to the church as their head-cover. From that time, the custom of wearing hat has been developed until now. Hilary Alexander, a fashion editor The Daily Telegraph, "It is a must for the Royal Family to wear hats in every special occasion. The bigger the hat is, the good it is"

Beside the Royal hat, Britain also has another kind of hat, for example "Bowler hat" (said to be the hat of a London call John Bowler design business in 1950), which was popular during the 1950s and 1960s, where brits men wore the Bowler hat as part of the City uniform and went on to be associated with businessmen in the City of London, but the practice died out during the seventies.

Hat in Britain also can differentiate the status. If someone wore a black and a new upright "bowler hat", he would be highly of; instead, the old one wore a "bowler" who will be looked down upon. "Hats have long denoted status," said Oriole Cullen, curator of a Victoria & Albert Museum 2009 hat exhibit that has since gone to Australia and heads to New York in September. "Up until the 1950s, a woman wasn't even considered properly dressed unless she was wearing a hat and gloves."

Not only Royal hats and Bowler hat, there are also baker boy cap, top hats, boaters, deerstalkers and countless ladies creations have been worn by Royal family and commoners alike through the centuries.

confused with the conclusion :(