Undergraduate / CommonApp Personal Essay (Topic of your Choice, incentives for charitable) [3]

Yeah, so this is what I decided to write about for my essay...
Critiques and criticisms would be more than welcome!!!

Do you believe the practice of giving incentives for charitable acts is morally acceptable? In your essay, please provide examples to support your thesis statement. Be sure to conclude the essay with an explanation on what your view on this issue tells us, as admissions officers, about you.

Response:

Offering incentives for charitable acts can be acceptable depending on the true motivation of the person in question. If the person performing the charitable act does so only with the intention of receiving the reward upon its completion, then it becomes morally unacceptable. However, if their motivation is based solely on the good that will come about as a result of the charitable act, then it becomes morally acceptable.

An example of a person performing a charitable act only to receive the offered incentives upon completion is a colleague of mine that currently goes to my school. He knows that if he completes his community service hours, then he will be able to successfully graduate from high school. However, he has stated many times that if community service hours were not a requirement for graduation, he would not do any community service. In other words, he is not completing the community service hours with the interest of helping others that are in need, but rather just to aid his own ambitions and desires. The charitable act, in and of itself, can be considered good, but the intentions behind the act can be considered selfish. In the purest sense, charity is best performed under conditions in which the person performing the charity is doing so with the primary intention of helping those that would benefit from their charity.

An example of someone carrying out a charitable act out of the goodness of their heart, even with incentives being offered to them, can be best conveyed in a personal anecdote. When I was in grade school, there was an elderly man in my neighborhood that was too old to go to the grocery store and buy groceries. As a result of this situation, I cheerfully volunteered to go to the local grocery store twice a week to buy his groceries. He told me that he felt a sense of guilt in sending me to the grocery store without any form of compensation, so he offered to pay me a small sum of money to reimburse me for my time. However, I knew that he couldn't afford to pay me, so I politely rejected his offer. I continued to perform this charitable act for him up until the time he moved away from my neighborhood. I decided to perform the charitable act out of the goodness of the act itself instead of with the primary intention of receiving compensation. This is an example of charity being performed in the purest sense.

I believe that my viewpoint on this issue shows that I tend to have a strict moral system. When I was growing up, I always chose not to do something just because "everyone else was doing it", if what they were doing was morally unacceptable, even though it might not have always been the "popular" thing to do. As seen in the proceeding narrative, I am known by my family and friends as a very giving and compassionate person. I believe that these qualities are needed in people more than ever before, especially in today's society. I know that I will be able to bring these good qualities to the table if I am given the great honor of being accepted into Carnegie Mellon University.

Undergraduate / I was interested in the complexities ; Carnegie Mellon U- Why CMU & major? [2]

Yeah, I know this essay isn't all that good, but comments, critiques, and criticisms would be greatly appreciated! By the way, I don't think the ending is the best either... If anyone could give me an idea on how to end it, that would be great!!!

Prompt: Please submit a one-page, single-spaced essay that explains why you have chosen Carnegie Mellon your particular major(s), department(s) or program(s). This essay should include the reasons why you've chosen the major(s), any goals or relevant work plans and any other information you would like us to know. If you are applying to more than one college or program, please mention each college or program you are applying to. Because our admission committees review applicants by college and programs, your essay can impact our final decision. Please do not exceed one page for this essay.

I have decided to apply to both the Tepper School of Business and the Department of Information Systems at Carnegie Mellon University. I thought it would be a great idea to do this, because if, for some reason, I don't get admitted into the Tepper School of Business, I would always have a second chance at getting into the Department of Information Systems. I am interested in gaining admittance to both of these schools, but I feel I could take advantage of so many more business opportunities at Tepper than I could take advantage of at IS, which is the one of the reasons why I ranked Tepper as the number one school I wanted to get into.

Ever since I was a kid, I was interested in the complexities that were involved with the organization of almost any big business. I always wondered how individuals could effectively work together to be so successful, even to the point where they were actually making money based entirely upon this teamwork. This is the driving force behind why I thought it would be great to go to a university like Carnegie Mellon University. Carnegie Mellon has the advantage of being situated in Pittsburgh, a city where I can take place of all different kinds of business opportunities. However, there are many college situated in cities that are similar to Pittsburgh in this respect. What makes the Tepper School of Business at Carnegie Mellon so unique among the other business schools that I have seen is the fact that it gives its students a great degree of hands-on experience on how to properly and successfully manage the inner-workings of a business through the Management Game. I feel like I could benefit from this even more so than most other students because of the way in which my brain absorbs and processes information. I have always been a student that tends to learn "by example". I think that one of the primary reasons many entrepreneurs don't become extremely successful is because they lack the skills on how to successfully run and manage a business in an academic and scholarly setting, so that if they make a mistake, then they will be told they are doing so without having to worry about losing their business. If I make a mistake in top management in my business, then I can always focus on learning from that mistake and striving to possess a skill set that would prevent me from making that mistake again in the real world if I ultimately decide to start my own business. In my opinion, the Management Game is the primary reason why graduates from the Tepper School of Business tend to do so well in the business world. I strongly desire to be a part of this great legacy of unparalleled success in the business world, which is why I ranked Tepper as number one in my personal order of preference on my application.

Information Systems is also a school that I have great interest in at Carnegie Mellon. This is also a school that I feel would give me incredible preparation for the real world of business. I also appreciate the fact that the knowledge that I gain from IS can be successfully adapted to numerous real-world applications. This is extremely important to me, because I don't think anyone can seriously expect a seventeen-year-old to know with absolute certainty, what they are going to be doing for the rest of their lives. In other words, if I go into Information Systems, the degree of flexibility that comes with it will allow me to concentrate on my studies, rather than devoting time to worrying about how I'm going to place into a good job out of graduation. This will only benefit me if I go into Information Systems. In my opinion, the primary reason why IS majors are able to handle jobs in enormous, fast-paced businesses is because they receive an incredible amount of rational decision-making skills in IS. The nature of the job market is becoming much more globalized day by day and I know that the skills that I can learn in IS will give me an advantage over those who I will be competing with for jobs in the marketplace. I also know that the diversity that I will experience at Carnegie Mellon will thoroughly prepare me to successfully interact with people from all around the world. I can't see myself being prepared for the real world anywhere else other than at Carnegie Mellon University.

Undergraduate / 'greediness in big business' - university of pennsylvania short answer [2]

Prompt: Penn offers its undergraduates an eminent faculty and a wealth of research opportunities. Use the space below to name a Penn professor with whom you would like to study or conduct research and explain why. (It is not our expectation that you contact faculty directly to answer this question.)

I would like to conduct research with Dr. John E. Core, Professor of Accounting at the University of Pennsylvania. I believe that I will be able to work together with him for a number of reasons. Dr. Core received his PhD from Wharton in 1995. I see this as a benefit because he will know how to fully take advantage of the extensive research opportunities at Wharton to a degree where other Wharton professors probably could not because he has experience as a Wharton graduate student. I am also extremely interested in his research areas, particularly executive compensation and corporate governance. I have recently gained an interest in these specific research areas due to the recent events with regards to the government bailout of AIG. When I learned that the executives at AIG were taking extravagant trips not long after the federal government bailed them out with taxpayer money, I became indignant at the fact that the average American taxpayer had to pay additional taxes just so the executives at AIG could take a prodigal vacation. If corporate governance were improved, then this most likely would never have been allowed to happen. This kind of behavior speaks volumes to the amount of greediness that exists in big business. The research areas of corporate governance and executive compensation are more important now than they have been in quite a while, due to the current economic crisis. This area of research affects me on a personal level as well. I come from a middle-class family, so any money that they pay through taxes that isn't utilized properly only negatively impacts me, especially if taxes are increased in order to pay for it. I would appreciate learning more about these concepts so I can position myself in the future to demand reforms in the areas of executive compensation and corporate governance. I feel that I can successfully work together with Dr. Core because of the passion that I have in these areas of research.

Undergraduate / summer courses through LPS - university of pennsylvania essay (courses that interest you) [3]

Prompt: Describe the courses of study and the unique characteristics of the University of Pennsylvania that most interest you. Why do these interests make you a good match for Penn?

The course of study that interests me the most is accounting in the Wharton School. A unique characteristic that sets this course of study apart from other business schools is the fact that it's not considered an actual major, but rather a concentration. I like the fact that the Wharton School possesses the highest degree of flexibility of any business school that I have researched. This is extremely important to me primarily because of the fact that I can always create an individualized concentration if I decide that accounting isn't the best course of study for me. Another unique characteristic is the sense of uniformity that naturally comes along with the Bachelor of Science in Economics that all Wharton students graduate with, which in turn makes it easier to develop true teamwork skills with other Wharton students. I think this eliminates at least some of the cut-throat competition that could be created, if some degrees that Wharton undergraduates could receive were more attractive to the current job market than others. Teamwork skills are absolutely necessary if anyone wants to run or work for a business, so I believe that this unique characteristic in the Wharton School can only help me.

Another unique characteristic at the University of Pennsylvania that stands out to me is the fact that students are taught by professors who are literally at the top of their respective fields. This is great for me because it gives me the drive and determination to someday be in their position as well. If someone else achieves more than I do in any aspect, then instead of coveting their success and achievements, I always work to push myself harder so that I can achieve even more. I know that just by going to the University of Pennsylvania, I will have to push myself harder than I ever have before. However, I will appreciate and enjoy the challenges that this university will surely bring me.

Another unique characteristic about the University of Pennsylvania that truly separates it from other elite universities is the fact that the administration provides many outlets and other extracurricular activities that its students can participate in. In other words, Penn's administration ensures that its students can find a healthy balance between their academics and their social lives without them ever losing any focus of why they are there in the first place - to graduate and to become successful men and women. In regard to academics, this balance can only help because a lot of the stress that would normally exist if students only focused on academics is completely eradicated. The University of Pennsylvania is quite literally the first colleges that I have been to in which practically all of the students were enjoying themselves in one way or another, even if they were taking summer courses through LPS. This created a positive atmosphere where I felt welcome and where I could picture myself living in and flourishing for the next few years.

I am a good match for Penn because I have the skill set to live up to the legacy of great minds that Penn has an established tradition of producing. I know that I will be able to fully take advantage of the incredible amount of resources and research opportunities that only Penn can provide to further my scholastic ambitions and aspirations. I can have confidence in the fact that I will have academic opportunities here at Penn that are virtually unparalleled anywhere else on the planet, which only increases my drive to fully live up to my potential. However, with all of the opportunities that Penn will offer me, I also want a sense of knowing that I will be able to reciprocate the favor, which is why I plan to help the university out in any way that I am asked to. I plan to have a significant positive impact on the University of Pennsylvania during my time as a student. I know that I can do well both academically and socially here, which is the primary reason why I am a good match for the University of Pennsylvania.

Undergraduate / Major decision to choose a university - why swarthmore essay [5]

Prompt: Why Swarthmore?
Please write a brief statement telling us why you have decided to apply to Swarthmore in particular.

There are many reasons why I decided to apply to Swarthmore. My rationale for applying to Swarthmore includes features that in Swarthmore that easily makes it stand out from any other college that I have seen. When I visited Swarthmore a few months ago, the first thing that caught my interest upon walking into the campus was a beautiful and extensive arboretum, which stood out among all of the other arboretums I had seen at other colleges that I visited. I immediately started imagining the various ways of which I could take advantage of such a large campus that was situated, quite literally, in the middle of Mother Nature. When I got to the information session, I learned that Swarthmore had exactly what I was looking for in a college.

Swarthmore has the most flexible system of education out of any other colleges that I have seen. I admire the consortium that Swarthmore shares with Penn, Bryn Mar, and Haverford that allows students to take classes that aren't available at Swarthmore. This opens the doors for tremendous academic opportunities that I can easily take advantage of as a Swattie. I have always been known as a hard-worker, especially when it comes to my school work, so having this variety of choices in regards to what classes I can take truly satisfies my thirst for conquering the next challenge inside the classroom. Swarthmore's reputation as an extremely academic college matches up with this aspect of my personality.

Another facet of Swarthmore that stood out to me is its extraordinary diversity. This is usually sparse at a selective institution of higher education such as Swarthmore. I have always felt that it is extremely important to be able to interact with people from all over the globe, mainly because of the fact that the job market is getting increasingly globalized day by day. One of the inherent advantages of attending Swarthmore is that the diversity that I will experience will give me an advantage over my peers when competing for jobs in the marketplace. I will have had the experience of interacting with people from all around the planet, which is becoming more important now than it was even twenty years ago. This is why diversity was one of the primary attributes I was looking for in a college and I definitely found it at Swarthmore.

I can also appreciate that the administration at Swarthmore truly values the input of their students, even to the point where there is a student representative who is responsible for providing a student perspective before the university makes any major decisions. This is yet another attribute that stood out at Swarthmore among all the colleges that I had seen. This is extremely important to me because I desire to have at least some input on any major decision that the university would be considering. I think that it's important for any institution of higher education to seek student input before making any major decisions that would affect the slightest aspect of my education and that is exactly what Swarthmore does.

I also know that Swarthmore truly cares for its students' well-being. The financial aid policy that Swarthmore has recently adapted can be seen as more than sufficient proof of this. Student loans have always placed a great deal of stress on students, both when choosing an institution of higher education to attend and even after graduation. Swarthmore could have chosen to spend the endowment that they used to eliminate student loans on additional advertising, but the fact that they utilized their endowment to eliminate student loans from financial aid packages speaks volumes on how Swarthmore truly cares about its students' well-being, even after graduation. Now I will be able to pursue graduate school studies after graduation, without having to worry about debt that I would have incurred from student loans. Swarthmore makes this aspiration of mine possible. As I establish a strong foundation for my future career, Swarthmore will prepare me for the real world academically, socially and financially.