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Posts by nounoub21
Joined: Oct 28, 2012
Last Post: Jan 5, 2013
Threads: 3
Posts: 11  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 14
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nounoub21   
Oct 28, 2012
Essays / UC where I'm from - shall I talk about being Lebanese? [3]

VERY SIMPLE QUESTION!

For describing the world I come from, I want to talk about being Lebanese and how I come from an entirely different civilization than in LA, but I do not know how to make it different then the generic second generation essays, even though i'm not entirely second generation. I want to say how when i come back from lebanon each summer i feel different because i just visited where my true home is and it makes it clear to me that even though i live in a diverse city like LA, i have this other home to go to. (if that kind of makes sense)

PLEASE: If someone can just give a suggestion and if im on a good path. thanks!
nounoub21   
Nov 22, 2012
Undergraduate / Some issues of personal concern and its importance to you [3]

I think it sounds great. You say from past experiences. I don't want to get into too much detail but since you don't mention any incidents I am not sure if you should put that. However, I think you are trying to get them to understand that you can relate and that is why you will do great as a child services worker, so it is ok I guess.
nounoub21   
Nov 22, 2012
Undergraduate / 'my grandfather's bicycle' - COMMON APP ESSAY [6]

I think what sounds great is I can tell its very personal, but I do agree that you should put more of yourself. Maybe in the beginning talk about a discussion between you two or something involving both of you. Also, once you mention a quality of your grandfather, say how you have showed that through something.
nounoub21   
Nov 22, 2012
Undergraduate / 'my Lebanese heritage and culture' - UC essay [3]

PROMPT #1:
A thunderous explosion rattled the building and shrieks and screams could be heard through all the hallways. A missile strike had just toppled an a--djoining hilltop and fiery smoke began to rise. Being only ten, I panicked and instinctively ran to my hotel room, looking for my mom and brother. Once united, we had to flee from the chaos and leave Lebanon immediately. Our scheduled long, three month vacation had just been shortened to a week. With the airport bombed and closed, we were left wondering about a safe route home. I was disillusioned with this land and began to draw away from it, not wanting to be a part of it.

As an American raised in a Lebanese household, I found that my Lebanese values conflicted with my American way of life as I struggled to blend the two contrasting cultures. Having lived in America all my life, I was used to the comfort, security, and freedom. Returning home after that life changing experience, I continued to question the need to stay connected with my Lebanese heritage. As a young adult, I grew to realize how fortunate I am to be able to experience both cultures and proudly embrace my identity.

While my parents enjoyed living in America, they encouraged me to learn about the Lebanese culture. However, I didn't see the necessity of Sunday school, learning Arabic, singing cultural hymns, and visiting family in Lebanon. I felt that they were pointless as I lived in America. This feeling grew even stronger after my terrifying visit. Surprisingly, that experience did not disturb my parents at all. In fact, they were already thinking and planning their next visit. They often reminisce fondly about their childhood days in Lebanon. As my father shared his stories, he spoke about his love for the beauty of the land, the warmth of the people, and the richness of the culture and history. He shared that he grew up in a world he never wanted to leave. Unfortunately, the instability in Lebanon caused him and his family to look for a new home overseas. However, he never had a negative outlook and always kept all his precious memories and life experiences close to his heart. My mother also chose to hold onto the warmhearted memories that often made her smile and long for a return visit.

This had a profound impact on me and I found myself being drawn into their stories and wanting to learn more yet I was still struggling with the memory of the explosion. As I became a young adult, I became more open to learning about the culture and began to accept my identity. While attending A Lebanese festival with my family, I instinctively spoke Arabic, enjoyed participating in the dabke dance line, savored delicacies, and was entertained by renditions of traditional Lebanese hymns. Standing in that moment, it became apparent that everyone around me also came from the same world of conflict, trying to maintain their heritage and traditions while assimilating into the American way of life. I now realize how privileged I am to be able to experience the love of both cultures. I yearn to go back to visit Lebanon to continue my journey of cultural enrichment despite the instability. I would love to create my own memories and experiences to share with others and to help them understand the importance of embracing their identity too.
nounoub21   
Nov 22, 2012
Undergraduate / 'My opportunities in Hong Kong' - UC personal statement #1 [2]

In the beginning, you TELL alot. I suggest that you show how you've become a well rounded person or how you faced obstacles. Talk about where you immigrated from since you mentioned that randomly in the middle and then tell us at the end.

I think you do good with tying in you wanting to do psychology with how you were raised. You did not talk too much about only your family.
nounoub21   
Nov 23, 2012
Undergraduate / 'graduating high school being pregnant' - The world I come from [4]

I like how you transitioned from how your mom's life has influenced you to be a volunteer. Try to show more about you volunteering, and less about saying "my mom." If you talk about your mom too much, it will sound like an essay about a person who influenced you.

You should also say something about how your mom may have done the same thing as you, with volunteering in the community and trying to make the best of everything, so it shows the world you come from which is the one with your mom.

good luck!
nounoub21   
Nov 23, 2012
Undergraduate / 'playing video games to cheer myself up' - CommonApp Personal Statement [2]

When i BEGAN my freshman year...
I usually cheer myself up BY playing videogames
They WOULD use the information

When you talk about Kanji and him questioning his sexuality, I think you should connect it more with your second to last paragraph. Maybe combine that part with the second one or leave it as a separate paragraph

Other than that, I think it is very well written and you were able to relate very well with the fictional character. Good luck!
nounoub21   
Nov 23, 2012
Undergraduate / 'Designing systems and structures' - UC essay "your world" [4]

When I look back at my past (considering of a standard career in business: DELETE) I (now) realize the deep gratitude I owe to my family for inspiring me to find my own individual form of self-expression using my (own) skill set.

Great transitions from each paragraph

I think this sounds good!
please look at mine
nounoub21   
Jan 4, 2013
Undergraduate / 'We argue all the time' - : PERSON WHO HAS MADE AN IMPACT ON YOUR LIFE [2]

I changed a few things just read and/or copy since you are in a hurry.
It is kind of random how you talk in depth about how your friends were TV characters and then suddenly you say that now you have friends. You should transition, and talk less about the tv characters, by introducing how you made a friend through having a common interest in one of the tv characters.
nounoub21   
Jan 5, 2013
Undergraduate / competition / no compassionate and considerate ; LMU / Fr. Arrupe? [6]

STATEMENT 3: A motto often associated with Jesuit and Marymount schools is "Educating men and women for others." Fr. Pedro Arrupe, the former head of the Jesuits, once said that "our prime educational objective must be to form men and women for others, who believe that a love of self or of God which does not issue forth in justice for the least of their neighbors is a farce."

QUESTION 3: What do you think Fr. Arrupe meant when he said this? Please give an example of someone you know, other than your teachers and parents, who works for justice for the least of their neighbors. (500-1000 words)

In this generation, the competition among people for jobs and a rise in social statuses is intensifying. It is harder and harder for people to be compassionate and considerate of others without there being any social or material incentives. Nowadays, many people will agree to something only if they are rewarded, even if a selfless action could reshape someone's life. Through his statement, I think Father Arrupe meant that our actions should not be clouded by selfish, ulterior motives, but that we must understand that our presence in people's lives should ensue in companionship and fair-mindedness. A person who came to mind, immediately after reading "who works for justice for the least of their neighbors," is Amra, a volunteer caretaker at the SOS orphanage where I volunteered last summer.

This motto can encourage young adults to discover why their education and competency is a prime factor when it comes to helping people around them. A sense of social justice is a key quality that is needed for someone to perform selfless actions and treat all acquaintances equally. What Father Arrupe wants me to understand is that whenever I act upon my thoughts or emotions, it will always have an effect on someone around me, whether I know it or not. I have to be aware that the way I react and treat others now is how I will respond in situations in the future. Another individual who has taught me this lesson is Amra.

Amra is a mother of two adults who has decided to live the rest of her life as a surrogate mother for orphaned children at the SOS orphanage in Lebanon. She was the first person I was introduced to when I visited the orphanage. After a few days there, I was able to get to know her better and spend time with her and the children. She told me about how her biological children are all grown up and since her husband past away she felt lonely at home. Instead of taking care of herself and living on her own, she took the opportunity to do something that would benefit others who are less fortunate and who were given another chance at having a family.
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