Undergraduate / I instantly fell in love with Columbia University: College Community" 1500 words [8]

Here's is the "essay" that I wrote for Columbia regarding one thing that I like about it. I wrote about the diversity of the college life and how much I would enjoy that. English was not my first language so pls don't laugh too hard at me. Feel free to criticize and give suggestions.God knows I need all the help I can get.

When choosing the right university , it is not only important for me to consider such aspects as core curriculums and programs, but it is also important to look at the college community and life which can help enrich both my academics and my college experience. This is exactly the reason why, when I looked at Columbia's guide featuring the student communities, I instantly fell in love. The cultural and intellectual diversity of the student body, from Romania to Hong Kong, from economists to astrophysicists, shall, to me, foster cultural acceptance, allowing me to easily fit in. The endless options of over 500 clubs and organizations will provide outlet to help be involved and makes a difference in the community as well as a boundless source for making new connections with new friends, not to mention the variety of organizations of political activism and student government, something that is my core passion. Best of all, Columbia is located in New York City, the cultural and commercial capital of the world. This nurturing, international community of cultural and professional ties wills, no doubt, helps me grows and become more efficient both as a person, and as a very lucky student.

Undergraduate / "Is that a deal?"; Columbia U; Personal experience [2]

This essay focuses on how my personal experience gives me an interest in the major of business management.1500 words
English was not my first language so please forgive me if I made a mistake. This essay is well over 1500s so I was going to cut it down, but I thought I'll get some opinion on it before I cut it down. Any suggestions is much appreciated.

Thank you very much for your help :)

"Is that a deal?" "It's a deal." Surviving in a household devoted to the conduct of business, these are two phrases that I have not only had the pleasures of hearing, but also of saying them. This was the intended result of an unofficial profession I carries, as it turns out, that started at a much younger age than expected. My immigrant parents, true businessman at heart, finds themselves with a strange deficiency for the language called English, and therefore was incapable to carry out their business ambitions. Being unable to resolve this little issue, my parent, still ambitious as ever, turns for help from me, their one and only son, the sole English-speaking "proprietor," and the only person they truly trust. Thus, instead of carrying dirty trays at McDonald, or hanging undergarments at GAP, this not-so-typical-seventeen-year-old teenager took a headfirst dive into the world of dealing and managing. This set up was neither a shock nor displeasure for me since I've grew up in an environment where the term "maximizing profit" was a hotly debated topic around the family dinner table. I started out small, conducting pedantic and cyclical rituals such as paying bills, and then slowly promoted higher jobs such as applying and canceling contracts. I must admit, though, that even starting out small, the first few times did manage to twinge my nerves. Nevertheless, not only did I pull through, but I began, slowly, to develop a real and genuine interest in the field of business, and hopes that one day I can experience enough to truly understand what makes the world go round.

Undergraduate / Honors, fame, and glory. Who doesn't want it? - applying to Honor's College [2]

So this is my essay applying to Honor's College. They asked me why I wanted to, and I couldn't just say "to put on my resume," because apparently that's too shallow. So I tried to write a good essay, but I'm not at all confident. You may notice that the part where it asks me why I wanted to go to Honor's College is a little short, possibly because, aside from fame and glory, I don't really have much of a reason. I feel because of my shallowness, this essay is a bit cold. Unemotional. No passion and such. I really hope someone have some sort of suggestion for me to buff it up, or at least to help me fine my voice. Any criticism is welcome, no matter how brutal. I'll take what I can get. Thanks.

Here's the Prompt:What does it mean to be an honors student? Why do you want to be in the Honors College? How do you envision applying the honors degree to your major?

The Essay:
An honor student, in my opinion, is neither about intellect nor grades. Instead, it is all about character. To an honor student "diligence," "integrity," and "determination" are not just idealistic word choices, but rather, they are the essential and rudimentary blocks upon which the "honor" is built. In fact, the purpose of having high grades while maintaining a heavy and advance workload serve to highlights these fundamental qualities. Also, an honor student need, to a certain extent, to develop and demonstrate certain leadership abilities. Due to the rigid nature of the advance workloads, an honor student must know how to, pardon the phrase, "work smarter, not harder." While hard work is great and should be widely encouraged, sometimes in order to resolve an obstacle or an assignment most effectively and efficiently, an astute student needs to be able to employ problem-solving skills and "thinking outside-the-box" as so that the most desirable solutions are achieved. Furthermore, an honor student, the pinnacle of character, must also help in being an example and leading their fellow peers toward the right path. This is accomplished by upholding and preserving certain moral and ethical standards, all the while maintaining an open mind with compassion and sympathy.

I want be in the Honors College because I would like to challenge myself. I want to be an honor student not just for the academic challenges, but also for the emotional and ethical challenges. I want to push myself to see if I can accomplished my goals and task, no matter how much or how difficult, without compromising my own characters and the characters worthy of an honor student. I also want to serve as a role model to other, by the examples and the action that I set. By seeing me persevere through tough and bittersweet times, I hope that my peers will be encouraged to focus and improve their academic and priorities, and ultimately their lives.

I major in the field of Business, a field that many people feels is ethically questionable. With the Honor's degree as a symbol of wisdom and character by my side, I am certain that I will be able to have confidence as well as the ethics to not only carries on, but also to be successful in the face of whatever comes my way in the venture of my major. Thus, I feel that with the help of the Honors College, I may push the boundaries of my limits and unleash my full potentials, for myself, for my friends, for my future, and for everything that I stand for.

Undergraduate / Intellectually Disdain to Dismembered. Transfer Stanford Essay [3]

Hi guys. I'm doing a essay for Stanford Transfer. Please review and gave me your honest opinion. Grammar's not my strong point, so sorry about those ahead of times. I know I suck at writing, but I'm trying my best. Thank you so much

Prompt: Stanford students possess an intellectual vitality. Reflect on an idea or experience that has been important to your intellectual development.

Bounded air-tight and fuming under a business suit, I did not expect much as I headed toward my first debate tournament during my sophomore year of high school. My lack of enthusiasm did not stem from the solemn morning air curling around my throat, nor the fright that grip all first time athletes and performers. Rather, it was a contempt sense of arrogance and overconfidence in my abilities. I had prepared, no, more than prepared, I had mastered the prescribed topics. Furthermore, my vast resources of information and knowledge will assure me certain victory. As the tournament commenced, and as the day progresses, I began to realize how wrong I had been all along.

Out of the three rounds in the tournament that day, I won only one. My losses were not a result of my opponents having more knowledge or data than me, but rather a much better analysis of them. My eyes were wide propped open with the burning tongs of humility, and I was humbled before immense diversity of perspectives and ideas from my opponents. I learned, quite painfully, that having a large amount of data had as much value as a pile of dead fish if it wasn't analyzed effectively. On the other hand, even a few meager statistics could become a key player if analyzed in the right way.

Originally, as an astute student, I believed that to fulfill all my aptitude, and to have true intellect, one must gather as much data and information as humanly possible. However, through my less than stellar performance at my first ever debate tournament, I realized that it is not the acquisition of knowledge, or the memorization of them that amount to intellect, but rather the ability to process them, to effectively analyze them, to understand them, from different angles that is real intelligence. From this experience, I began, in all my fields of study, to not only gather the information, but also to reflect upon it, to unravel it, to see all the knowledge has to offered in its entirety, all in my hopes that one day I may call myself a true intellectual.