Undergraduate / Hi I am from Bangladesh.. Williams Supplement essay [5]

I don't suggest toning it down, it what makes the essay stand out, and it makes you seem very passionate, the first paragraph was good, maybe I'd change some of the verb usage, the second was okayyy, needs a better connection to the beginning.

Undergraduate / The Chariot of Insecurity/ Williams / looking through a window [4]

1. you aren't even looking out a window
2. You're flowery writing is not going to make up for the lack of connection between the trip and your self-realization

Like I literally had no idea you were going to pull a hey-i-should-be-grateful-for-what-I-have-because-crab-lady-showed-me ending. And You're voice varies too much, it's from
"30 degrees, 50 man queue, no water" to omg "Does this vehicle have Insurance?!" ...

Writing Feedback / "Talk is cheap"- "All mankind is divided into three classes" [8]

good essay, should use a little more varied vocabulary, ... and when in the sentence about the lawyer , doctor, or basketball player it should be something like "astronaut, NBA player, or president" , those are actually kinds of occupations that people raise an eyebrow for when you tell them that's your dream. and btw, could i ask you you're SAT/Unweighted GPA, i'm only curious because you're essay was soo good and good STATs could make you a shoe in !

Undergraduate / Diligent is the one word that describes me; PENN STATE / Personal statement [4]

good god, what is wrong with your tenses ? "I was the worst in my class when it comes to multiplication tables" ..."I could only remember up to level 2 when all my classmates have already memorized 12 multiplication tables"... "Although I did not really like her way of teaching, I know that she was the one I should actually be saying thanks to" ... you need to really fix them or Penn will think you made through high school messing around. I know my words are harsh, but you said yourself harsh words motivate you. A lot of essays on here are very descriptive , and that's what you need to be, descriptive, don't be so repetitive, have a varied vocab, you need to seem more passionate within the essay so Penn can still how diligent, and vehement you can truly be

Undergraduate / Interest in Bio; Cornell Sup - College of Art and Sciences [8]

soooo goood ! omg best cornell i've ever read ! can i know you're Gpa, Sats, to see if you have a chance? i'm sure you'll be a shoe in

Undergraduate / Old Man and The Sea / Columbia University supp/ Meaningful book [8]

dude the first one is decent, can i know your gpa and Sat cause i think you're a show in if they're good enough lol