Writing Feedback / Broad knowledge or Specific knowledge? Broader knowledge is more important; TOEFL [3]

Hello,
I have a TOEFL practice essay need everyone's help to revise for me. Thank you for your kindly correction.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
It is better to have broad knowledge of many academic subjects than to specialize in one specific subject.

In this competitive society, obtaining different kinds of knowledge is necessary. You may have to encounter your competitors who know more than you; therefore, the following reasons show my opinion in agreeing with the former one.

To begin with, many people would take one major in their campus life because they think it is enough to face the competition of the outside world. However, they neglect the fact that there are many students who sharpen their own competency by taking the additional academic subjects. For instance, if you are going to interview occupancy of international business, most people might think that it would absolutely suitable for the one who majored in the business to take it. Nevertheless, if you have taken the extra subjects like the second language and so on. You are definitely has the superiority than other interviewee.

Furthermore, many people regard taking too many academic subjects are wasting their time. Nevertheless, the y disregarded the fact that it is their opportunities to explore and develop their interests, which may become the basis of creating their own entrepreneurship. For instance, most successful people have the same characteristics of not losing the chance in learning. They will grab each minor chance to attend the forum or making with friends in different fields so that they can expand their relationship with a varieties of backgrounds people. Besides, through taking different subjects, you can have broad knowledge and to implement all the materials that you've learned on the future career and find out your own interests via learning.

All in all, we should try to broaden our horizons by learning different subjects not only enhance the competitive among finding the job but also find out what you like and the interest that will lead you to the better future career life. Never lose any chance which can fulfill you life.

Writing Feedback / Traveling in their own country Vs traveling in foreign countries; TOEFL [5]

Hello, I am going to take TOEFL test next week and I have practiced to write the independent essay. Please find me to check if there's anything I can do to improve my writing. Any comments are appreciated. Thank you.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

People benefit more from traveling in their own country than from traveling to foreign countries.

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

With the advent of convenience transportation, people can move from one place to the other easily. Therefore, there are different types of traveling plans such as domestic traveling or go aboard traveling. It indeed provided a variety of choices for people to choose before making the final decision. In my opinion, I would think of traveling overseas that can be obtained more opportunities as the following reasons.

To begin with, some people will assume domestic traveling can learn the geographic from your own country and know more history from it. However, these people neglect the fact that traveling overseas can gain different backgrounds knowledge because you can use the information you have and then apply it to the practical situation. Besides, a variety of scopes can only be experienced rather than learning from books. Once you go there and enjoy the overseas travel, you will have the deep impression of that place.

Additionally, some people argue that language using could be no problem at all because you take the domestic travel. Nevertheless, they disregard the fact that even you have no talent in learning second language, you can still communicate with the local people via sign language or the electronic machine and so on. There are several ways to solve the barrier of communication in different countries.

Finally, traveling in their own country can be more convenient than the foreign countries. However, they neglect the convenience makes no difference because you can search for the public transportation in advance before going to other countries and they might offer you discounts if you book in advance. This method could make you enjoy the foreign travel.

In conclusion, traveling in the foreign countries could be benefit in various ways like learning different geographic, use different ways to communicate with foreigner and the transportation provide the joyful trip. It indeed helps you reach the maximal entertainment of traveling overseas.

Writing Feedback / Saving the endangered plant of Torreya; Intergrated Writing/ TOEFL [4]

Hello,

I'd like to take TOEFL exam next month and I have practiced the TPO 18 essay. Please help me to check the integrated writing below. If there are any wrong grammar using, please give me the comment. Thank you.

In this set of materials, the author states that experts are trying to find ways to inhibit the decline of Torreya; however, the professor challenges the idea in the reading passage.

First, the reading passage describes the scientists are working in making the microclimate for the plants to sustain their life; however, the professor states the opposite opinion because it is not easy to reestablish the same living environment since the microclimate is not as dryer as it should be.

Second, the author states the seeds of Torreya should move further north so that the temperature is much cooler. And some scientists believe that Torreya might use to live in higher altitude. Nevertheless, in the listening passage, it provides an example of blacklocus tree, which moved north, as a result, it spreads too quickly that killed other plants. It caused unpredictable consequences to the environment.

Finally, scientists planned to move it from wild to the monitored environment because they can protect and do the research to Torreya. The research can help the survival of species. The listening passage shows that the plants in the research center are not able to resist the disease. Therefore, they might not capable of surviving in the wild societies.