Undergraduate / Mover; UPenn Transfer - Ben Franklin, mankind classes [7]

So, I'm trying to transfer to Penn for the fall and the essays kind of have me panicking. I have a rough draft here of the larger of the two supplemental essays and was really hoping the good folks at essayforum could help me flesh it out and make it as good as possible. Any help is appreciated!

Prompt: Ben Franklin once said, 'All mankind is divided into three classes: those that are immovable, those that are movable, and those that move.'

Which are you?

Of the three classes of people named in Benjamin Franklin's quote, I would cast myself among those who consider themselves movers. In my view,a mover is one who above all is capable of movement of the self. For a long period of my development, I could best be described as a movable person with an immovable attitude, not unlike most in their formative years. Children are typically incapable of altering their own perspective, whether by simple inexperience or willful action. Despite this, children do not really have much choice in their own circumstances, and as such are "movable" in that they are dependent upon forces which act upon them. I was no different in this regard, and yet I feel that what causes one to avoid the movable or immovable paradigm is ultimately how they develop a response mechanism to those circumstances which are imposed. What separates a mover such as myself from the immovable or the movable can be simplified to adaptation and self-reflection.

My life was fairly typical for a resident of the poorer part of Northeast Philadelphia. My family was relatively poor and working class. As I grew we gained some money and were able to leave the city, which would be the first of many significant imposed circumstances in my life. More significant than this move however were the events that followed out of it. The separation of my parents and the later loss of our suburban home and typical middle class style of living was where many who I knew often fell into the class of the movable. For a span of approximately two years from the age of thirteen I responded with the angst that was so typical among teenagers and suffered socially and academically for the experience. I allowed myself to be moved by

my circumstances, swept up by the negativity of imposed conditions. As the effects of this became more apparent, I realized through my family how one's own self imposed attitudes have an effect on their ability to move forward from a negative event such as family separation. As I saw my brother and sisters dropping out of school and becoming involved in illicit activities as a response to some of the abuse and negativity associated with a family splitting up, I was forced to realize that I could let circumstance dictate my attitudes and path in life, or I could move myself in such a way as to succeed in spite of being undermined. I call myself one who moves because when placed in circumstances that moved so many in my family to avoid the pursuance of higher education, I was able to realize my own ability to move away from an established tradition toward a higher goal. Reflection on the negative outcomes of being dictated on a personal level by imposed conditions and adaptation to those conditions to negate said outcomes are the two traits which have defined me and kept me focused on pursuing a path contrary to my upbringing.

Please HALP! D:

Undergraduate / How I Will Engage Academically At Penn: A Smorgasbord of Programs [4]

So, I'm applying as a transfer to UPenn and have a draft of a supplement that a current Penn student said was good, but I'd like the essayforum community's second opinion, so here we go:

PROMPT: A Penn education provides a liberal arts and sciences foundation across multiple disciplines with a practical emphasis in one of four undergraduate schools: the College of Arts and Sciences, the School of Engineering and Applied Science, the School of Nursing, or the Wharton School.

Given the undergraduate school to which you are applying, please discuss how you will engage academically at Penn. (Please answer in 300 words or less.)

My academic interests have expanded greatly since I have entered college, and I feel that Penn has the resources necessary to meet these interests. At Penn, my primary academic engagement focus will be on the pursuit of research and interdisciplinary coursework.

My primary interest at Penn is by far the opportunities for research, particularly in the areas of political science and history. In both of these fields, my ideal is to work with faculty on research in these subjects through Undergraduate Research Program and eventually do independent research through the Center for Undergraduate Research and Fellowships. Further, I hope to pursue Penn's political science honors program so that I might engage in research on a topic of my interest, namely the effects of modern technology and social media on global political movements. The wealth of research opportunities will assuredly occupy a great deal of my time and effort, but I hope not to limit my experience simply to research in my primary field. I also hope to take advantage of Penn's opportunities for interdisciplinary study, particularly through the interschool minors program.

One of my greatest desires in college has been to pursue study in as many of the fields that interest me as I can. My eclectic tastes in academia grant me a strong desire to study subjects which often crosses the barrier between undergraduate schools. The interschool minors program at the College of Arts and Sciences offers me the opportunity to pursue my interests in legal scholarship through the Minor in Legal Studies and History, which represents an academic area I have been yearning to pursue since I arrived at college.

My goal for academic engagement at Penn is ultimately to utilize every conceivable avenue for interdisciplinary scholarship and research on topics of interest relating to my field of study.

Undergraduate / My interests do not match up with those of my peers; Transfer Reasons/Objectives [4]

Thoughts on this? Any editing/help is appreciated.

PROMPT: Please provide a statement (appr. 250-500 words) that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve.

The mood at a Washington, D.C. college campus can be described as one that is permeated by passion and fervor for political activism and organizing. The students at The George Washington University are almost entirely dedicated to activism and politics on a level that rivals even the most active K Street lobbying firm or interest group. The great political battles of the modern era are being fought by the idealistic and passionate students that occupy my peer group. While it is true that seeing such battles take place is exciting, during my time studying in the nation's capitol I have discovered that my interests do not match up with those of my peers, as I do not share the passion with which they engage themselves. Rather, I have discovered that my interest is in the rigorous study of the plethora of issues with which George Washington University students rush into a headstrong confrontation. Ultimately, I would describe my reason for transferring as a desire to separate myself from the heated politics of the capitol which often impede critical consideration and evaluation of one's positions in favor of accomplishing already established political goals or seeing initially held beliefs vindicated.

Academics at The George Washington University have assuredly provided me with intellectual challenges and insight that I will carry with me in the future. The professors and faculty are academically inclined scholars often engaged in interesting research. However, due to the geographical placement of the university, less emphasis is placed on engaging with faculty members in their academic pursuits in favor of emphasis on pursuing opportunities for political activism. For those who believe strongly in their political ideals, this situation is preferable, as much of the student body at the university is very interested in political activism. While I have a passion and desire to engage in politics in the future, I believe that undergraduate study should focus heavily on academics and research, and my goals moving forward will be in pursuit of this belief.

For the remainder of my undergraduate career, my goal is to pursue an understanding of the various facets of politics, particularly disciplines which often find their way into politics such as economics, history, and law. While I cannot deny the appeal of engaging directly in politics to affect systemic change, I find that such engagement amounts to a distraction from the study of topics which are meant to inform such activism. I feel that before I invest large amounts of time into political activism in any form I should develop an informed worldview that is adequate enough to impact the positive change that is so coveted by youthful idealism. Like every passionate activist at my current university, I am eager to pursue political change. However,I feel that as an undergraduate I should first pursue an understanding of the relevant subjects in politics through research and study such that the activism in which I engage will be based on accumulated knowledge as opposed to preconceived notions.