Writing Feedback / IELTS 'do everything by rules'; children learn to be good members of society [6]

Topic: Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There are some good arguments in favour of teaching children to be good citizens in schools or by their parents. I believe that both of these approachs make major impacts on the development of a child.

The opinion of school is a better place for children to learn about the outdoor society is attractive for several reasons. Firstly, children in the early ages can access to an appropriate learning environment where restricted by school's rules that prevent them from bad habits. As a result, whenever a student come to school, they have to do everything by rules: they must not smoke, they must not fight each other, they should say hello to older people and so that they become more politely and obediently. Secondly, pedagogical qualifications also contribute an important part in educating a child. Obviously, teachers in schools have different methods which help them to educate students. Finally, it is clear that school is also small society and children, in school time, have large opportunities to accustomed to act in outdoor's life.

On the other hand, some people believe that the characteristic of children is affected by how their parents cope with difficulties or successes in life, that means parents should also take responsibilities for educating them. Children usually tend to see their parents as ideal models or examplaries. The fact is, because of close relationship between them, parents are the only ones who can be side by side with their own sons or daughters twenty four seven, so that everything they do or react can led to duplicate reactions by their children. No one are more suitable than parents in helping their own children deal with real-life situations.

In conclusion, while there are certainly arguments to be made for both sides, I strongly believe that, to be good members of society, children must learn not only from their parents but also from schools.

Undergraduate / IELTS: Trend of living individually. Why? And its effect on society. [4]

In some countries, the number of people choosing to live by themselves is increasing rapidly in recent years. Why is this the case? Is this a positive and negative development for society?

Recent years have witnessed a tremendous increase in the number of people who want to spend their life alone. Since numerous of them, especially young aged, have a tendency to avoid starting a family, the negative effect of this case should be intensively consider.

Many people stand for a belief that the trend of living individually is a consequence of several objective reasons which related to booming economy or immoral perception. Apparently, working in such strained working environments where tasks and deadlines are crucial than anything, accidentally become a barrier that prevent people from enjoying social activities. To be more specific, they are now busier than before and thus difficult to find a partner. Moreover, in many Eastern cultures where the perception of male-dominated is still exist, the proportion between male and female become seriously unbalanced, meaning that a man obviously have little chance to find his fiancée. Take Vietnam as an example, sex ratio is 126 men compares to 100 of their counterparts, which interprets that one out of five men in marriageable age will have no opportunities to marry.

On the other hand, I am of the opinion that the trend undoubtedly causes negative effect to modern society. Firstly, because of many people living in a single life, the level of social relationship will gradually decrease. Indeed, the period of time spending for social activities is usually replaced by the time in workplace, therefore, people will find extremely hard to interact even with their neighbors. Secondly, it is undeniable that if numerous of people decide to live by themselves, the population will inevitably be reduced. As a result, the national economy will be affected noticeably due to the shortage of people in labor age.

In conclusion, while there are certainly arguments to be made for this issue, I strongly believe that the downside effect of the trend is outweigh its benefits.

Pls help me find grammatical problems. And if you think my ideas are inappropriate or off topic, pls let me know. Thank you guys.

Undergraduate / IELTS: satisfying working environment is far more important than the security of a job [4]

Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, there are many factors that influent employees when seeking for a new work. While some people subscribe to a view that the stability of a job is the most essential aspect, I strongly believe that a satisfying working life must be intensively considered.

It is undeniable that job security plays a crucial part when individuals are considering a job. Apparently, since the global economy has been in serious crisis, many workers have become unemployed. Moreover, the increasing of over-educated employees, as a consequence of uncontrolled growth in opening new universities, has made the workplace be more competitive. Indeed, the employers are now overwhelming when looking for an appropriate candidate. Therefore, if employees can not prove themselves, their contracts may be promptly terminated. The fact is, many individuals may do almost everything to keep their position safe regardless of whether those actions are immoral.

On the other hand, the enjoyable of people in their working time should be the first issue to be concerned when somebody finding a new job. Obviously, people can only show their best performance if they have opportunities to compete equally in workplace and earn the amount of money that fit their efforts. Undoubtedly, employees always have a tendency to work with a group of cooperative and supportive colleagues or work under an inspirational boss. For specific example, an entrepreneur can not overcome many obstacles and obtain great achievements in their start-up without enthusiasm and passion which regarded as job satisfaction.

In conclusion, while there are certainly arguments to be made for both sides, I strongly stand for a belief that satisfying working environment is far more important than the security of a job.

Pls help me find grammatical problems. And if you think my ideas are inappropriate or off topic, pls let me know. Thank you guys.