Undergraduate / "Come see, quickly!" Common App essay on experiencing failure [3]

Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did ot affect you, and what lessons did you learn from it?

"Come see, quickly!" Makhosi beckoned me. Putting down my lunch box, I got up and entered the a sword through my heart. I wanted to comfort her. To hold her hand. To hug her- something! But consultation room. My eyes met with those of the elderly woman in the corner. A single crystalline tear fell from her eye and landed on the crumpled tissue she held in her trembling hands. I was unsure whether what I sensed was either forlorn hope or unbearable despair. Before I could decide, deep intermittent breathing shifted my gaze to the Jack Russell lying on the table. He was clearly on his last legs. Suddenly the whole scene made sense; the poor lonely lady running her hands through her greying unkempt hair, the nurse reaching for the bottle of Euthapent. Each muffled sob was like before I could act, Makhosi whispered in my ear, "How pathetic."

I mumbled something in agreement but my eyes were fixed on the woman. My face conveyed indifference, a skill I had mastered over a week of working at the SPCA. Likewise, I did not comfort the poor woman for fear of being labelled "pathetic" as well. The nurse stuck the needle filled with the blue venom in the dog's paw and we watched as his breaths slowly tapered to complete silence. The stony silence was broken only by the woman's sniffling. Makhosi and the nurse turned to me expecting my usual reaction. I remained 'indifferent'. Mourning the death of a dog was seen as the equivalent of crying after killing a mosquito.

I did not foresee these kinds of scenarios occurring at the Bulawayo SPCA. In fact, when I signed up for volunteer work there I expected to find more animal lovers like myself. I did not expect to be mocked for getting teary when an animal was killed; especially one I had gotten to know over a few days. I did not expect the quizzical looks when I spent my spare time talking to the admitted animals or playing with them. I did not think for a second that treating the animals as I would a human being was seen as a strange and unnecessary practice.

On my second day of work, I witnessed the death of six dogs. A majority failed to receive adequate treatment due to lack of funds, and the remaining portion were culled because of overcrowding in the kennels. I asked the nurse about the euthanasia rule which stated that an animal could not be killed in the presence of another animal, the practice of which had long ceased. The look the nurse gave me answered that, and any other question I would have in the future. I was an eighteen year old volunteer. My job description included mopping floors and doing any arbitrary duty required of me; I was not brought in to change things. My opinion wasn't worth much among qualified people who had worked there for years. As a result, I failed to make any significant changes to the practices I saw.

My failures plagues me for a while. However, I don't regret volunteering there. Although I was somewhat traumatized, I learnt a lot of things. Firstly, I faced the sobering reality that bad things happen all the time, and I may not always be able to stop them. I got a taste of the real world; a world where everything isn't always dandy, and I proved to myself that I was strong enough to endure it all. Ironically, I feel stronger now after my failure.

Scholarship / I normally do not make a habit of relying on people; QUESTBRIDGE BIO-needs cut down! [6]

We are interested in learning more about you and the context in which you have grown up, formed your aspirations and accomplished your academic successes. Please describe the factors and challenges that have most shaped your personal life and aspirations. How have these factors caused you to grow?

I normally do not make a habit of relying on people. I may do so for menial matters, but autonomy and self-sufficiency are very integral to my lifestyle. I believe it has a lot to do with the way I grew up, and a lot to do with the events surrounding the past few years.

My mother was from Seychelles, but lived in Kenya almost all her life. In 1993, at the age of 30 she married my father, a Zimbabwean, and moved to Zimbabwe. She was plunged into unfamiliar territory, and had to start building a life from scratch. What she did was admirable in many ways, however, it did not work out the way she planned. They divorced in 1997, just fours year later. I later found out that it was because my father was beating her. I commend her for ending the abusive relationship. She told me stories of how she sold her engagement ring, her wedding dress and other valuables to make end meet for us. Stories of how she used to take me to the park on Christmas Day to see all the lights that lined the roadway. Stories of memories shared between the two of us only. It was always the two of us, but ultimately, she was alone. All her family weren't there, and she had to fend for herself and her child. She eventually did make friends, find a job and build a comfortable life for us. She worked hard to put me through pre-school, primary and secondary school. In all this time she was a tremendous role model for me. She set examples which to this day I still adopt. She never asked for anything if she could do it herself. She taught me traditional Créole dances and she never let me forget my heritage. Because of her, I don't ask for anything unless it is absolutely necessary, and I embrace my Creole heritage fully.

After the divorce my father became a ghost. A figure I would run into in town once a year, or see once or twice when visiting my grandmother. Some person I would be given random updates on. A name that would be mentioned in passing. His presence did not extend beyond the occasional happy birthday message sent a week after my actual birthday. Normally, one would expect me to have "daddy issues". I wouldn't describe them as such. His absence taught me way more than I feel his presence would have. His absence made both me and my mum strong women, capable of taking care of themselves. It taught me at a very young age that people will not always be there for you. It also taught me that one cannot rely on people too much, because some may disappoint you.

In 2010 my mother lost her high paying job as an advocacy and communications consultant and our family was plunged into economic turmoil. My school fees at the private school I was attending was out of our price range now, but not once did my mother suggest that I transfer. Her goal from the beginning had been clear; to provide me the opportunity to get the best education I could. I was determined not to let her down and amidst the hardships managed to excel in my Olevels exams and receive academic honours. There were nights when she would go without dinner and give me the last morsel of food for the day, or give me a bigger portion of food. Little things like that touched me immensely. Her selflessness made me even more determined to make her proud. She worked piece jobs, and whatever money she got always went towards school fees first. I managed to stay in school for two years off her tireless work and sacrifice, and I obtained good results for my Alevel examinations. She was the first person I called because as much as I did it for myself, one of my main goals was making her proud. She taught me to have a spirit of lowliness and sacrifice for those we love. She also instilled in me a good work ethic which will benefit me in the future. She was always optimistic, and told me constantly that things were going to work out for us.

Her subsequent death in May of 2013 was both unexpected and sudden. I was shattered, and I could not imagine myself living without her. Only then did I realise how much she actually did for me. I had to become an adult, and I was thrust into the deep waters of the real world without a life jacket. However, with some help from my mother's close friends, I was able to become a woman in my own right. I feel now that there is nothing the world can throw at me that I cannot only endure but conquer. I am determined to complete my journey towards becoming a vet, and help all the domestic animals who have suffered abuse at the hands of other humans.