Writing Feedback / IELTS: Task 2 Some people think that no one should be allowed to work after the age [6]

I really want to get your feedback of my essay. Thanks guys!
TOPIC: Some people think that no one should be allowed to work after the age of 65. Otherssay that people should be allowed to work for as long as they want to. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

With the incredible economic growth, the working and living condition has been significant improved in recent decades. Some people start to believe that employees should enjoy their retired time after the age of 65. However, others claim that individuals should work for no matter how long the want to. I totally agree with those who hold the view that people should retire after 65.

It is accepted that employees aged over 65 are not able to deal with their work well both in mentally and physically. To begin with, the old employees are more conservative and it is hard for them to accept the creative changes and advanced techniques on their daily work. Numerous closed companies like Kodak proved that creative changes and advanced techniques are essential to every company. Therefore, the old employees bring negative effect on the development of companies. Besides, old employees can hardly finish their working tasks, especially manual work, due to the loss of concentration and energy. As a result, companies have to pay all of the bills for their inefficient work and medical care and bear more pleasure on finance.

Opponents, however, support that the value of old employees can bring real interest to companies. They argue that the experience of the old makes a great contribution to the growth of the young and lead them to be more skillful in their work. Furthermore, it is without doubt that the old are more loyal than others. Even they are willing to devote their whole life to the companies. So, they are the main factor to make companies running in a stable condition.

In the nutshell, both sides of the issue seem like reasonable but I am prone to the former. I believe that employees who retire at the age of 65 release companies' financial burden and help companies grow up better.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: Task 2 Carry guns or not? No for gun carrying! [5]

Hi guys,

I really need you to give me some suggestion to my IELTS task 2 essay.

The topic is: Police in some countries like England don't carry guns. Some people don't approve of this because they think that police with guns gives them security. Others think that police carrying guns decreases crimes. What is your opinion? Give relevant examples and experiences.

I would argue in this essay that governments should make policy to fobbed their residents purchasing guns, because guns carried by people will become a significant factor to decrease the public security and be harmful to the young generation.

First of all, people with guns would make a contribution to increase the ration of crime. As one of the powerful weapons for ordinary people, guns are usually used in crimes to threat or kill the victims. In fact, faced with criminals with guns, such as robbers or murderers, victims are so scared that give up to resist. To a large extent, guns help the criminals become stronger and expand the weakness of victims. Although some people still believe that guns provide people with protection by themselves under the control of government, the truth is that most governments do not properly make the policy to set the limitation to purchase guns, especially in some African countries. If guns would be bought as vegetables and drinks, an increasing number of conflicts will be seen in the society, even turn to be wars.

Second, teenagers will be become more violent and aggressive by taking guns. Due to the lack of self-control and sense of responsibility, many teenagers try to imitate the violent behaviors showed in movies by using guns in reality. In recent years, for instance, various students were shot or threatened by their schoolmates in campus in the USA where taking guns is legal. Most of the young victims lost their life or were hurt physically and mentally while the killers just want to acquire their sense of achievement and make fun from the crime.

Based on the above discussion, we see that taking guns by residents affects the society negatively and brings violence during the growth of the young generation.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: Task 2 The best way of spreading news [6]

Hi guys,

I really need your help in my IELTS essay. Please give some suggestions.

Thanks a lot!

The topic is :
There are plenty of options available for spreading news, such as newspapers, radio, TV, The Internet and so on. According to your opinion what is the best media to use? Why?

The incredible improvement of science and technology in recent decades has made a significant change in our way of spreading news. Nowadays, the most popular media has changed from newspapers, radio and TV into the Internet. Three main reasons make me firmly believe that The Internet is the best way of spreading news.

First of all, the Internet spreads news more quickly than other media. News can be scanned immediately after being made by people. Compared with the newspapers, news on the Internet does not need amount of time to be printed and edited. News can be informed to people only in few seconds later when they are edited. Therefore, The Internet keeps people posted about the latest news around the world.

Secondly, it brings convenience to ordinary people to spread news happened around them. The Internet provides with a free platform for everyone to make and spread information by themselves. Actually, in traditional media, such as radio and TV, news has been selected before they are spread and that narrows the horizon of their readers and audience to some extent. However, it is the freedom of spreading the news on the Internet that gives people more chances to get a better picture of the whole world.

Finally, news can be spread on the Internet in a variety of ways. These ways, such as word, voice and video, make news so vivid that attract their readers and audience deeply. On the contrary, the traditional media only rely on one or two ways to spread news and people have been tired of acquiring news in such a monotonous way. So, the Internet makes news more attractive and detailed to people.

In a nutshell, the Internet is an effective and efficient way to spread the news and it is much better than any other media.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: task 2 Some people think the foreign visitors should be charged more than the local [3]

TOPIC: Some people think the foreign visitors should be charged more than the local visitors when they visit the cultural and historical attractions in another country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The incredible growth of tourism in recent decades has made a significant change in destinations of travelers. Nowadays, a growing number of travelers have chosen to pay a visit to foreign countries instead of native scenic spots. Some people claim that foreign visitors should pay more money for their travel than the native, in order to reduce the negative influences from international travelers. However, I totally disagree with this opinion and believe that the same prices should be charged for both native and international travelers.

First of all, higher price is unfair for international travelers to enjoy those charming attractions, which belongs to the all mankind. That means a plenty of travelers can hardly afford the higher prices after paying for the expense on transportation. The young travelers, for instance, who have not permanent jobs and much money in pockets, will miss the chance to explore the wonderful world because of the huge expending on the foreign attractions.

Secondly, the life of the local will be affected negatively due to the high charge will make the attractions not so attractive for international travelers. Numerous welfares, such as pension for the old and the education quality, cannot be improved without enough revenues from tourism for people living in the tourist cities. Consequently, some local people have to lose their jobs because of the depression of the tourism. In fact, the problem of unemployment will lead to more serious results, such as the increasing crime ratio, to local residents.

In conclusion, higher prices of the attractions will bring frustration to foreign travelers and also reduce the benefits of the local. Indeed, the high prices will make a great contrition to the protection of the local attractions, but compared with the depression of tourism, I still support that traveler should enjoy the attractions with the same price wherever they come from.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: Task 2 Gender differences in work [2]

Hi guys,

I am working for passing the Ielts. I really need your help for my essay.

Thanks a lot!

Topic: Some people think that men and women have different qualities. Some jobs are more suitable for men while other jobs are more suitable for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Gender differences).

In some parts of the world, many companies prefer to choose their employees according by their genders. These companies believe that male and female employees preform differently in different jobs. In my opinion, I support this method of selecting employees to a large extent.

First of all, most of the manual jobs are more suitable for male employees. Generally speaking, males are stronger and tougher than females physically. Therefore, when doing jobs involved with a lot of manual work, such as moving goods in warehouse and operating big machines, males can usually achieve the work more effectively than females. Furthermore, compared with males, only few female can stand the terrible environment of manual workplaces with dust and high temperature like construction sites and manufacturing factories. Consequently, males are more suitable for manual jobs than females.

On the other hand, some jobs which need emotion and patience complement for females, such as teacher and nurse. It is true that there are different personalities between male and female. According by our ancestors' different responsibilities in daily life, females are more maternal and patient because some jobs like feeding babies and taking care of families were often involved in their daily tasks. So, as a result, maternal and patient personalities make female employees easily do a good job in teaching kids and taking care of patience.

To conclude, I believe that some jobs are really more available for special gender. However, it should not be regarded as a reason for gender discrimination in the job market. Both male and females can be excellent in their jobs by hard work and creative thinking.

Writing Feedback / IELTS:Who should be responsible for cleaning pollution? Private Individuals or Government? [3]

Hi guys,

Please help for my IELTS writing and I hope to get your feedback.

Thanks a lot!

Topic: some people argue that companies and private individuals, not government, should pay the bill of environmental pollution cleaning up. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

As we all known, the main duty of government is to improve citizen's living standards. Therefore, some people maintain that it is the government that should be responsible for eliminating the pollution to promote our living condition. Instead of the government, however, I would argue that companies and individuals should be charged for the payment of cleaning pollution up.

The major reason is that the payment from companies and individuals can effectively help to get rid of pollution. Companies and individuals have to change their environmentally unfriendly ways of operating and living to be greener, if the payment for cleaning takes a main part of their incomes. For example, in some countries, such as China, manufacturing companies are asked for paying plenty of money to eliminate the negative effects of industrial wasted gases. So they have already improved their manufacturing methods with less wasted gases emission. As a consequent, the air pollution in industrial areas has been better than before.

Although the government gains the amount of tax revenue from companies and citizens, it can hardly afford the expense on solving the environmental problems. Except eliminating pollution there are a great number of more important issues, such starvation and poverty, needed to be solved by the government. Especially in some developing and less developed countries, the government there has to spend their revenue purchasing food and building infrastructure to make their people survive and be far away from poverty. Therefore, the government is unable to eliminate pollution by paying a lot of money.

In conclusion, I believe that companies and individuals should pay for eliminating pollution, but the government also has the duty to make appropriate policies to lead their people to work and live in a green way.