Writing Feedback / TOEFL - Children managing their own money - best way to learn responsibility [8]

In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at a young age.
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

One of the best characteristics of a mature adult is responsibility, specially in financially matters. Actually what is the best way to learn responsibility? many people argue about learning their children the financial responsibility in young ages or in adulthood. I am a kind of person who believes to children should learn to manage their own money at a young age, due to reasons that I stated below.

The first important point that I want to make is that sociologists found that our characteristics and personality forms early in life, even though when we are not borne. So it is crucial to learn our children as soon as possible to learn financially issues. To clarify my point I would like to say a memory from my childhood, when I was at age 7 my father gave me monthly money to buy thing that I liked. First time I spend the whole money to eat at school and my money finished. I asked my father for extra money, but he refuse to give it to me. I found that I should manage the way that I spend money. From then I learned to be economical and now I have every thing I wanted.

Another aspect of learning children to manage their money is on the finance of the family. If parents get the children all they wanted, they would be run out of their money for their essential needs. Even in rich families if children did not learn to manage their own money, when they grow up they will become unappreciative and dependent persons who want to just used their parents prosperity. As a case in point, I had a friend to had a rich and prosperous family, his parent gave him everything he demanded from his childhood. He became an arrogant person who could not stand on his feet and always asked for money. His parent tried a lot and hired some experts to learn him manage his financial and carrier life, but unfortunately it was useless. Finally one night, having fun with his irresponsible friend in his luxuries car, he crashed a truck and died. Not only did he cause lots of damage to the society property, but also bring sorry to his family.

Although some people argue that children should be free to spend money to they what they want, In my opinion it is very important to learn our children from their beginning of their life to be financially responsible persons, because our personality form in childhood and it is not easy to change it in adulthood.

Writing Feedback / Most of the people do not have adequate knowledge of the place they are traveling to [3]

Traveling is one the fascinating ways of enjoying life, that one can done this either in a group led by a tour guide or by himself. Both ways have their own pros and cons, in my point of view traveling in a group with tour guide is one of the good way to travel but it is not the best way in all situation. I will clarify my point first by providing some reasons and examples below.

First of all, I want to bring reasons that some people believe that the best way to travel is in a group led by a tour guid. I think most of the people do not have adequate knowledge of the place they are traveling to. For instance they do not know about the culture, history and the language of the local people of the region they are traveling to and a tour guide can teach them valuable information about the place and people. Furthermore, a group that leaded by a good tour guide would have a good schedule for viewing the beautiful scenes and historical sites and buildings so individuals in group should be adapted to the plan of tour leader, so this group is an organized and efficient one.

So far so good, traveling in a group led by a tour guide have it's own disadvantages. Consider a case that some people want to see places that are not so famous and tour guide just want to show the group the famous ones, so they should obey the tour leader and this brings them dissatisfaction. Besides, for individual that already have enough information about the place it is frustrating to listen to the explanation of the tour leader.

Although some people believe that best way to travel is in group with a tour guide, I prefer to travel by my own because whenever I decide to go to travel first I search for enough knowledge about the place until I got enough information, then I go to the place I want.

Writing Feedback / Timing, distances, and social relations, forcing separation of extended family [5]

Guys please give your precious opinions to improve my essay ;)
Nowadays there are so much differences in the ways people live from past; from relationships to careers. Whether extended family play less significant role in our lives or not, is a vital issue, since it is influenced the way we socialize today. I firmly believe that the extended family importance is decreased today, because today people are busy, and there is more distance between families and more variety of attitudes toward choosing relationships are exists.

One of the most important factor that contributed to this issue is that people have less time for having relationship with their relatives. To clarify my point, consider a modern child who spend most of the time in school, then in university, and finally in work. This person not only have no time for spending with his extended family, but also with his family. So in this modern hectic world that every one is rushing to work harder to gain money and satisfaction, there is almost no place for having relationship with extended family.

Another crucial cause is that now distances between relatives have been enlarged. This century was the burst of technology and this means better transportation vehicles and ways. In past people could not afford the difficulties to migrate to other cities or countries. Thus usually relatives stayed together and even leave in the specific local area. This closeness caused extended families to be significantly important to past people.

From another aspect, our social circles are widen and more arbitrary than before. In recent decays people prefer to choose friends that have common interests or backgrounds to share with them, from work, internet, groups, and communities that they participated. So they have a wide range of friends in fields of interests and no time for extend family which they have no common topics to speak about.

To sum up, there are numerous reasons that caused extended family be less important than before. I have mentioned points about aspects of modern life, include timing, distances, and social relations, that resulted this separation of extended family.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL: Parents try to help children to be successful in their academic performance [4]

From early times educated people have special respect in their society. Nowadays, in most of the countries primary school is the least level of the education. To educate children efficiently is one of the hottest debates in today's world. So in my point of view parents are now more concerned about children's education and they try to help their children to be successful in their academic performance, because education plays a crucial role in this modern world .

One of the significant changes in modern life is that education is necessary to be professional and gain success in life. In the past, people traditionally learn their ancestors jobs and follow their fathers works to make living. For instance my grand father was illiterate; however he practically learned how to work in market and buy and sell goods from his father. He was great at business and he became famous and rich in his life time. Compare in recent time, he cannot be a successful business man without academic background and no one will respect him.

Another significant change occurred recently in educational system; new methods need the parent to be participated in their children education. Recent studies showed that children whom have encouraging and helpful parents, are more successful in their academic life. Due to this studies schools want the parent to take participated in parental sessions to cooperate with them to assist their children in their education and behaviors.

From another aspect, modern children are exposed to lots of improper actions and deviations. Consider the new technology, internet has changed the life of many students in world. Internet have it's own advantages for educational purpose, but if children use it in time consuming way for playing, it will be harmful to their academic performance. According to this point, not only should parents control internet use of children, but also they should assist them to work on their school stuffs.

All in all, nowadays life has changed in lot of aspects especially education. I firmly believe that in this modern life it is highly important that parents involve in their child's education to make sure they will follow the right way of success.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL improve the quality of education,more money should be spent on professors' salaries [5]

Guys please tell your idea about how is my grade from 30?? and correct my essay.
To improve the quality of education, universities should spend more money on salaries for university professors.Agree or disagree?

Nowadays, there are many vital decisions to be taken related to the budget of universities. One the hottest one is that in order to improve quality of education, salaries of professor should be increase. Albeit this idea will help to raise the quality of education, in my point of view we can invest that money of the other aspects to improve the quality of education on universities.

One of the most important ways in which we can improve the quality of education is investment on the properties and equipment of university. In most cases, students learn a lot in an interactive environment for example in laboratories or in conferences. Thus it is necessary to spend money in these areas that are essential in students learning. Furthermore, with these facilities, students and professors will get positive energy that will help them to have higher performance in their field.

Another potential area for investment is funding for both students and professors. If students know that there are some funding for students according to their performance such as high grade average point, they will have more motivation to learn and study. Also, if professors know that there are some research founding for them and for their students they would work harder to get it and they would try to improve their ranking among others. Hence, that definitely will raise the quality of education in university.

Not surprisingly, raising salaries of professors would not cause the quality of education and we should consider some subtle points if we want to do so. For instance, professors' salaries should raise due to their academic performance. Then they would get some motivation to teach better and do some creative works for students to learn better. Besides, I think now professors salaries is enough to make leaving and to have convenient life, additional money should be for one's who are more creative and effective.

To sum up, I firmly believe that there are lots of efficient ways for investment in order to have higher quality of education rather that investing on professor's salaries. In my point of view, professors today get enough salaries and getting higher salary should depend on their performance.