Undergraduate / Sterling library / Bilbo / Religion Life / Leader / Public speaker / Cabo-Yale Supplements [3]

My Yale application is due tomorrow and I just wanted someone to look over my answers one last time before I submit it. Be as harsh as you need to be!

What in particular about Yale has influenced your decision to apply? (Please answer in 100 words or less.)

Standing in front of Sterling library. Feeling the crisp December air breeze through my hair, infused with centuries of rich history. The same air breathed by thousands of brilliant, world-changing minds. Looking around at the students walking to class, knowing that every one of them was a new idea, that every person I saw had the potential to enlighten every life they touched.

Please respond in 150 characters (roughly 25 words) or fewer to each of the questions below:

You have been granted a free weekend next month. How will you spend it?

Falling down the rabbit hole, joining Bilbo on his unexpected journey, partying with Gatsby until sunrise, and making it home in time for dinner.

What is something about which you have changed your mind in the last three years?

The place religion has in my life and the power it holds over my beliefs and opinions.

What is the best piece of advice you have received while in high school?

"Be a leader, not a ruler."

What do you wish you were better at being or doing?

I wish I was better at public speaking. The second I step in front of a group of people, my brain shuts down, leaving my mouth to ramble.

What is a learning experience, in or out of the classroom, that has had a significant impact on you?

Visiting the outskirts of Cabo San Lucas and seeing miles of cardboard homes and barefoot children. Yet there was a smile on every child's face.

Undergraduate / local private school - COMMON APP PERSONAL STATEMENT [NEW]

Please edit my personal statement! Will critique back!

"One day, I just looked in the mirror and realized I only had two options: get better, or die." I turned away from my co-worker, blinking back tears, hoping that he didn't see how his story had affected me. Daniel was only 20 years old, but had already suffered through and recovered from a heroin addiction. Watching how he had managed to choose to get better, and to turn his life around, just made it harder to face the fact that my father had chosen the other option.

When I was 6, my mother told me that my dad was addicted to drugs, and though I had no idea what that meant, I understood it was something negative. My family had always lived comfortably until this point. My dad had started his own company and we lived in a large home. But following the start of his addiction, he quickly went bankrupt and lost his business, bringing his family down with him. We were in terrible debt, and had no income. My mother, who had always stayed home to raise my siblings and me, suddenly had to find work. We were forced to move to a small two-bedroom rental house, where I had to share a room with both my brother and sister. Various babysitters came and went, but from a young age, I often found myself charged with caring for my siblings while my mother attended nursing school. As the oldest, I was suddenly faced with the challenge of having to grow up prematurely. The world was a harsh reality that I came to know too soon.

One of the hardest parts of all this was being at school. My mother had managed to attain scholarships for us to attend the local private school. The toughest thing anyone in my class of nine had to experience was getting their cell phone taken away. In fourth grade, there was one other boy in my class whose father had passed away. He had been in the military, and everyone always talked about how brave he was. But even though I hadn't fully understood my father's condition, I knew he wasn't brave. He had abandoned his family for Methamphetamine. Instead, when friends asked why I only lived with my mom, I lied and told them that my parents were divorced and my dad lived on the other side of the country. I didn't want their sympathy, I hated the pitying looks people gave me when they knew.

And then, one day, my dad had to face the same decision Daniel did. All I remember about the incident was my mother, trying to console me. Trying to console herself. "You're gonna hear people talk about suicide, but we're his family, we know he loved us and that he wouldn't do something like that. Daddy was sick, it was just an accident."

My father's suicide affected me in more ways than I like to admit; some good, and some bad. From a young age I was forced to become independent. During my brief encounter with poverty, I vowed never to let my children experience the same hardship I felt. I threw myself into my schoolwork, making my future my number one goal. Thinking about a future away from pain was my escape, and it shaped the work ethic and motivation I have today. As I've grown older, I've come to understand and accept why my dad did what he did. He wanted an escape from pain too. He couldn't handle the mess he'd made of his life and his family, and chose the easy way out. And I can't blame him for it, all I can do is understand the past for what it is, and live every day with the hope that he would be proud of his baby girl.

Undergraduate / plastic water bottle - BOSTON COLLEGE SUPPLEMENT [3]

St. Ignatius of Loyola, founder of the Society of Jesus, encouraged his followers to live their lives in the service of others. How do you plan to serve others in your future endeavors?

Another bead of sweat rolled down my cheek as I stared out at the miles of barefoot children and cardboard homes engulfed in a dusty midday haze. Coming from a lower-middle class American home, I had never seen anything that could compare to what I saw in the outskirts of Cabo San Lucas. As I looked towards the children, playing barefoot in the street, I felt a tug on the bottom of my t-shirt. I looked down at the face of a boy around the age of six.

"Agua?"
I glanced at the plastic water bottle in my hand. A small amount of the lukewarm liquid remained, and I handed it to the boy, who thanked me with a smile. But not just any smile. It was the most beautiful smile I had ever seen. A smile that would open my eyes to new ideas, instilling within me a passion to spread that smile throughout the world. A smile that would change my life. In a community mired in poverty, where no one had anything but each other, the child showed pure joy in accepting a gift that most people would find insulting.

I have always done community service, as it is a requirement at my school, but my mission trip to Los Cabos allowed me to actually see firsthand who I was helping. I was suddenly aware of the impact I could make on someone's life, through something as simple as giving them some water, or a pair of worn-out flip-flops.

At this point I knew my purpose. It didn't matter that I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, no matter what path I chose, I would use that path to the best of my ability to recreate the beauty I saw that day.

Undergraduate / books/films/newspapers/websites -STANFORD SUPPLEMENT: WHAT MATTERS TO YOU AND SHORT ANSWER [2]

I haven't finished all my essays yet, but as I'm running low on time, I decided I'd better post what I do have. So stick around for part 2!! Thanks!

Please respond to the following seven inquiries so we can get to know you better. Do not feel compelled to use complete sentences.

Name your favorite books, authors, films, and/or musical artists.
Books- Mother Night, Les Miserables, Ender's Game, Paper Towns, The Eye of the World; Authors- John Green, Ernest Hemingway, J.D. Salinger, Kurt Vonnegut; Films- Silver Linings Playbook, Les Miserables, The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, The Breakfast Club; Musical Artists- Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, Vampire Weekend, Lorde, Ed Sheeran

What newspapers, magazines, and/or websites do you enjoy?

Tumblr, YouTube, "Time" magazine, "Mental Floss" magazine, The New York Times, "Vogue" magazine, Coursera

What is the most significant challenge that society faces today? (50 word limit.)

The perpetuation of racial and sexual stereotypes in media and pop culture, which results in continued conformation to those stereotypes, limiting societal advancement and placing a value on human dignity.

How did you spend your last two summers? (50 word limit.)

Traveling to Los Cabos on a mission trip, visiting family in Colorado, catching up on my reading, and attaining my first job.

What were your favorite events (e.g., performances, exhibits, sporting events, etc.) this past year? (50 word limit.)
Vampire Weekend concert, Macklemore & Ryan Lewis concert, The International Exhibit of Sherlock Holmes

What historical moment or event do you wish you could have witnessed? (50 word limit.)

The women's suffrage movement in the United States. To go back in time, and see firsthand how the women struggled to gain equality that was rightfully theirs. To see one of the major movements in the fight against female oppression and know that their pain would pay off.

What five words best describe you?

Innovative, Empathetic, Ambitious, Imaginative, Passionate

What matters to you, and why? (250 word limit.)

The summer of 2013 was trademarked many major pop culture events, but there was one that overshadowed them all. The song 'Blurred Lines' by Robin Thicke was declared Billboard's number one 'Song of the Summer.' A song that perpetuates sexism, misogyny, and rape became last summer's anthem. Yet still, people dare to say that gender inequality no longer exists.

Yes, women can vote. Women legally have all the same rights as men. We no longer need to be dependent upon men to survive in the world. But it wasn't too long ago that a certain t-shirt became very popular, reading, "Cool story babe... now make me a sandwich."

What matters to me is that my friends and I can't walk down the street without receiving at least one catcall. In some parts of the world, girls aren't allowed an education. Rape is always the woman's fault, she was asking for it. What matters to me is that in a world so centered on breaking the rules of society, women are still expected to conform to them.

Undergraduate / Mandarin, Burmese, Tagalog, Cambodian, Russian, Spanish - Extracurricular Activity [3]

I needed to expand of one of my extracurricular activities for Stanford and Columbia- I wrote about my job at Panda Express, but I'm worried it may be too ambiguous. Thoughts? Will critique back!

Mandarin, Burmese, Tagalog, Cambodian, Russian, Spanish. Foreign phoenetics fill my ears as I scoop the last of the orange chicken onto a plate.
"Orange chicken, waiting!"
My call is met with hurried steps and banging pans. We may all speak different languages, but the message is clear. I hand an Israeli man his food, thank him for his business, and wish him well. Put away the fresh batch of chicken. Repeat.

In a workplace environment that draws interest from people of many cultures, I have the opportunity to learn about other parts of the world in ways I couldn't at school. We all come from different places, with different backgrounds, yet all of our stories have led us here. Whether it's a brief interaction, or an anecdote in a heavy accent, I am able to see the entire world from the other side of the cash register.

Undergraduate / Heart racing - Yale Open Ended Essay [5]

In this essay, please reflect on something you would like us to know about you that we might not learn from the rest of your application, or on something about which you would like to say more. You may write about anything-from personal experiences or interests to intellectual pursuits. (Please answer in 500 words or less.)

Heart racing. Feet pounding. Sweat rolling down my face like tears. I glance up, and see all twelve of my teammates at least a lap ahead. Again. As they each finish their final lap, they turn around and start cheering.

"Come on Molly! Way to go! You've got this!"
They know I hate it when they do this, drawing attention to my failure. They're just cheering because Coach told them to. I almost fall over when I finally cross the line after my last lap, struggling to let air into my suffocated lungs.

It wasn't asthma, or a lung disease, or even gluten intolerance. Nothing my doctor suggested worked. All I know is that my lung capacity never caught up with the rest of my body. My mom tried to comfort me.

"Sweetie, maybe your lungs just aren't strong enough. These things take time; you just need to build up their strength."
I had been working out since seventh grade. I played two sports. I did more than enough cardio. What more could I possibly do to 'build up their strength.' It wasn't that I was a competitive athlete, trying to make it to the state competition, or achieve an athletic scholarship. I was just sick of being the last one off the court, I was sick of being laughed at when I had a panic attack in the middle of the pool because I couldn't get enough air.

Every step was a battle between giving up and pushing forward. Yet I fought on. I wouldn't let my ragged breathing or the taste of blood I the back of my throat stop me from what I loved about sports. The rush you feel when you're moving as fast as you possibly can. The adrenaline you feel when you steal the ball from your opponent. The bonds you make with your teammates, teaching you about the importance of teamwork and allowing you to create some of your strongest friendships. Even with all of the pain and embarrassment, I wouldn't change a single minute of my time as an athlete, and live with the hope that one day perhaps I will be able to run with the wind in my face and air in my lungs.

Undergraduate / Otherside by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis -Columbia essay cultural event you found meaningful [3]

I'm dying. That's the only way to describe it. The way my heart pounds as loud as the bass shaking the floor. I scream as loudly as I can, which at this point isn't very loud. My raspy cry is lost in the sea of sound that caresses me with every beat. My body aches from the pressure of a thousand bodies, pushing on me from all sides. We all forget our differences and any prejudices we may have had. We lose the idea that we are strangers in the chaos of this lucid dream and with every drop of sweat, we melt into one soul.

The first time I heard "Otherside," by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, was the first time I actually began to understand my father's addiction to Methamphetamine. The song outlines a tragic addiction to codeine cough syrup that ends in an overdose. It was followed up on the duo's first studio album with the song "Starting Over," which told the tale of Ben Haggerty's own relapse after three years of sobriety. Hearing about addiction from someone who experienced it firsthand helped me to realize and accept what my dad had gone through. But now I no longer had to face the pain alone. I could let it all go, erase the scars, and start over.

Watching Macklemore ascend the stage for the last time, we greet him with a torrent of emotion and passion. His voice echoes through the room, filling us with ecstasy. The music is our narcotic, and we can't get enough.

Undergraduate / Everything it has to offer; What I find appealing about Columbia [2]

Please tell us what you find most appealing about Columbia and why.

I look out my dorm room window towards the exquisite New York skyline. I feel the crisp September air breeze through my hair, infused with centuries of rich history. The same air breathed by thousands of brilliant, world-changing minds from Alexander Hamilton to Ezra Koenig. Looking around at the students walking to class, knowing that every one of them is a new idea, that every person I see had the potential to enlighten every life they touch.

Of everything Columbia has to offer, from the stellar core curriculum to the extensive resources, this is the experience I look forward to most. To receive the opportunity to interact with the brilliant minds of my time and to hear about their philosophies and experiences from their own lips, giving me a glimpse of the impact my generation will have on the future.