Writing Feedback / CBEST personal essay - an unforgettable person you have encountered in your life [13]

I need a feedback to my essay, please!

Write about an unforgettable person whom you have encountered in your life. What made him or her special? How did their life impact yours in a positive or negative way?

Mr. Taylor

Everybody has someone who played a role model in his or her life. The most common persons are parents and teachers. In many cases, students prefer to use their teachers as a model rather than their parents because they believe that parents' advise is always against their whishes. I remember the fight with my parents who had constantly a different idea than me about my problems. I tried all the time to have someone as a model, someone who can be my life's star. The person whom encountered the most in my life was Mr. Taylor.

As a math teacher, Mr. Taylor was exceptional. His talent to teach student and to transmit knowledge to others was fantastic. However, I had a few math teachers but only Mr. Taylor was the only one who knew it how to make students to love math. Not only his students respected him but also his colleagues. Every day in the morning, he was in his classroom ready to help any student before school starts. Moreover, his talent and style created a learning atmosphere every day in class. I remember, for example, one day when I could not solve any problem of the homework. I got up early than usual in the following day and I pleased my parents to drop me to the school as soon as they could. Mr. Taylor was there ready to work with me one-by-one until I finally understood the topic and I was able to solve the homework. His talent as a teacher terrified me.

Always strait and well dressed, Mr. Taylor spread into entire classroom a respectful attitude. His warm and calm voice dominated the class and nobody disturbed him from the lesson. Additionally, he had a particular method for any student who tried to disturb the class. The most used method was to call the student who did not pay attention to his lesson and let him or her to continue to teach the class for an "A" or to receive a "F" and parents meeting in the next day. On the other hand, Mr. Taylor used many techniques to keep us busy during class time. Furthermore, he always used life examples to attract our attention and his jokes made us to remember the example later during homework or tests. Everybody respected him because he respected everyone.

Mr. Taylor inspired me and I wanted to become a teacher. I tried many times to copy his style and methods in my class but I wasn't capable to reach his level. I always used his advice not only in solving math problems but also the life problems. Mr. Taylor was a very special person who encountered in my life and I will never forget him. His spirit follow and help me as he is always next to me.

Writing Feedback / CBEST: Technology today has been positive or negative impact? [16]

Please, a feedback on this essay! Thank you in advance for your time and opinions.

Technology has become a part of our lives. People use that every day to solve problems at work and home. Machines based on technology are involved in many activities today across the world helping people to finish their tasks faster, easy, and more precisely. Internet and computers, satellites and telescopes, or ships and submarines are just a few examples where without technology none of these were possible. The contributions technology has made to modern life have often been positive. As a positive effect, it is used today as a solution to solve problems both at home and in the world.

At home, we often solve daily problems or enjoy activities using technology. For example, we can communicate with people over the Internet by computers. In addition, cars represent pieces where technology is implicated in each car's component. Also, cars are made to commute to work or for shopping because in our society nearly everybody has a car. Fifty years ago this couldn't have happened easily and efficiently as now. Moreover, I use my car not only to go to work but also for shopping or for a trip to a park, beach or friends. Houses' security systems, for example, connected to the police, is more powerfully because is build on technologies developed in the last years. We use it in the kitchen to cook our food, in the laundry room to wash and dry our clothes, in the family room to watch television - these are all examples where technology as part of our daily life, helps to save time. We use technology all the time without even thinking of it.

Also, throughout the world, technology is used to solve many problems. All communications are possible at a rapid pace between various parts of the world using satellites. Furthermore, the International Space Station and the Hubble telescope involve the latest technology in the world. Also, the Internet offers us opportunities to find all sorts of information quickly with just a few mouse clicks. For example, I found my current job by exploring different Websites on the Internet. Besides, aircraft transport people and objects throughout the entire world rapidly and safely using the modernist technology. Cloning and biomedical engineering are possible today because technology is developed at the very high level and its benefit can be filled everywhere. Technology has become part of our daily life.

It's difficult to do many things today without technology. Throughout the entire world, technology can be encountered everywhere. The contributions of technology have made our life easier. The quality of our lives has improved where technology has been involved. Technology has become an indispensable part of our lives today and has a positive impact.

Writing Feedback / CBEST: the most important trait a teacher can have is self-acceptance! [9]

Here is a new essay! Please advice! Any help will be appreciated! Thank you!

Topic: Some educators believe that the most important trait a teacher can have is self-acceptance. It allows the teacher to better relate to his or her students, to better deal with student problems, and to better provide a positive and constructive role model. Present your arguments in agreement with this statement, or, if you disagree, present your viewpoints as to what believe is most important qualify for a teacher to have.

The Teacher

I strongly agree with the idea that the most important trait a teacher can have is self-acceptance. Teaching is not an easy job. Working with children and molding personalities engage a big responsibility. Moreover, a teacher shapes students and can change their life forever. Self-acceptance is a great quality which allows the teacher to communicate with the students, understand their problems, and grant a life model.

The teacher must have a strong communication with the students. First, the educator needs to present his or her rules for the class. At the beginning of the school year all class' rules should be presented and discussed in a forum. Also, posters with rules are helpful because students need to be reminded of the policies, over the school year. Second, two way of communication are very important in this job. The instructor must have the ability to listen to students' opinion and to communicate very clear the class' conventions. The teacher's rules can be adjusted to fit the class needs better. Finally, for the educator it is important to leave the door open for communication with the students. Tutoring, after school or during lunch time, allows students to come and ask for help on the topic of class' lesson and homework. Many students are more confident in one-to-one discussions rather than asking in front of the entire class. The communication with students is a necessity and is part of teaching job.

Like every one, students have their problems. Primarily, the troubles start at the family level. For example, divorced parents generate a chain of confusion for the child, because at a young age it is hard to decide who is right. Also, one parent or both without a job can create tension inside of the family, with a negative impact on a student's school performance. A health problem in the family can be a source of trouble for the student. Another problem that affects students is related to friendships. I remember a day when one of my students came to my class and asked for a suggestion regarding her relationship with a classmate. My advice helped her and after a short time, I saw her in good spirits again. Last but not least, most dilemmas are from daily lessons. Many students come for tutoring during lunch time or after school. Every day, two or three students are in my class to ask for help or just to clarify a question. Sometimes, they come just to spend time with me and discuss their problems.

Along with their parents and idols, the teacher represents a model for the students. The educators represent a positive model for the students because are competent, always ready with the answer, and trustfully. Moreover, students learn better because belief in their teachers. Also, during class interaction, the teachers mold the student attitude and behavior. Some of them want to become teachers. Some would like to be a model for other youth generations as their teachers were for them. As a result, every year, some of my students attend to the universities with the aspiration to become teachers. Teachers can be a positive and constructive model for their students.

Communication, understanding students' problems, and being a life model, is a great quality that teachers must have. It is not only because the teacher represents a model for students, but also, for a while, the teacher is more than a parent, is a friend. The doors are open for communication, advice, or an idea and the teacher becomes an example and the student is confident to ask for help. The most important quality that a teacher can have is self-acceptance.

Writing Feedback / "The Attitude of Success!" - CBEST: successful person essay! [14]

A new CBEST essay! Please advice!

Topic 3: Organize a well-written essay about a person you know and has become very successful. This success has in some way changed him or her. Explain how he or she is now different.

The Attitude of Success!

People's attitudes often change on becoming successful. The prosperity makes them believe that they are no more the same person as before. As a result, their behavior towards those close to them is also changed. Surprising, how people change from having a good and positive attitude to an arrogant and disrespectful one. My friend Tim changed in this way after becoming very successful in marketing.

Working for poor and homeless people is a noble cause. When I met him, a long time ago, at San Francisco University, Tim worked as a volunteer in his weekends at a shelter downtown. Every Saturday morning, he collected food from his neighborhood and brought it to the protection center. Then, in the afternoon, he distributed the food to the homeless. A smile or an act of kindness can change for the moment the ugliness of life. Sometime he fed the handicapped and the sick. Tim loved to play with kids and teach them small card tricks or to provide help to others. I remember one story about a person that he helped. An old lady lost all her investments at the stock market and had a stroke. The shelter was the only place she could go to. She could not use the bathroom by herself and Tim would help her. Through her eyes, she always expressed her appreciation for Tim's help. His attitude impressed me and I had only the best words for him.

However, his success in marketing turned Tim's attitude. After graduating from the University, he started to work in a company selling cosmetics products. His consideration for clients helped him achieve higher and higher sales. This made him believe that no one could be better salesman than him. One day I met him in a mall where he was promoting a new perfume. His arrogance and sense of superiority shocked me. He acted as though he did not recognize me. I asked about his voluntary work for shelters, and his callous response surprised me. Not only had he stopped lending a hand to people, but he never donated a penny for them either. Instead, he spent money for useless thinks that, in his mind, made him unique. He was no more the person I knew; but was totally changed.

I now realize that you can never know people close to you completely! Anyway, I have kept only pleasant memories about Tim and treasure them. And, I have never stopped hopping that, by a miracle, he will again become the person I respected and admired!

Writing Feedback / Should parents be held responsible for acts of vandalism committed by their children? [17]

I am not sure that the first paragraph it is strong enough.
I need an opinion! Please! Thank you!

Topic 5: Vandalism costs taxpayers millions of dollars each year. Some people feel that a great deal of vandalism could be stopped if parents were required to pay for damages their children inflict upon property. Should parents be held responsible for acts of vandalism committed by their children? Support your position with specific reasons and example.

The Vandalism

It would be a great achievement for everyone, if we could stop vandalism. Money spent to fix damages caused by vandalism could be used for education, culture, research, for example. Damages to properties could be stopped or reduced, if parents are obliged to pay for damages done by their children. Cleaning up vandalism on private and public properties costs money, and someone must pay for that.

Children's education should start at home; parents are responsible for that. At home children are educated by their parents or guardians. Here, children learn how to behave. For example, welcome someone who comes to their house, and respond to others greetings. Likewise, children learn to respect people and their properties. Children who have been poorly socialized by their parents are more liable to commit acts of vandalism. Their actions are partially their parents fault, and they ought to pay the cost of damages. Parents should speak with their children about the effect of vandalism, and the fact that someone, should pay. The better way to explain to a child what vandalism means is to show examples from life. I keep in mind houses with broken windows, ripped fences, or holes in the walls, when my father showed me vandalized places. It was similar to a horror movie. There, nobody was catch, nobody paid. The municipality repaired the houses by reducing the budget for next summer camp. Parents should be held responsibilities for damages committed by their children and pay. Moreover, children might understand that paying for reparation will reduce the budget for their toys or favorite games. Children need to learn at home how vandalism affects a private property and why someone has to repair.

Vandalized public places seem unsafe, and people will avoid them. Public places are vandalized by children that are unsupervised by their parents. Overtime work does not allow too much time for them to find what kind of friends their children have. However, as parents, they must have the responsibility of children's activities. People do not feel safe and will not return in a vandalized place. I saw a fast-food with windows broken by a group of teenagers. They were identified, and their parents paid for the damages. The owner used the money to repair the store. The fast-food was reopen, but run out of the business after awhile because lack of customers. Parents took the liability to control them. They attended to a few meetings with a counselor were youngsters understood the effect and the consequences of vandalism. As a result, I never saw in that area vandalism acts, again. Angriness makes people to act irresponsible. I remember, once in school, one of my classmates, was very angry. Nervous, Bob, my colleague, started to throw rocks in the school walls. He broke a few windows and light bulbs. Neighbors were scared and surprised by his act. His parents paid for all the damages, but a few parents moved their children to another school. This event made parents to take more responsibility. They have been leading their children to school and back home since then. There were no more vandalism acts. When vandalism occurs on public property, it is even more disturbing.

In conclusion, I believe that parents should have the responsibility of vandalism committed by their children. Everybody becomes more responsible when they have to pay for consequences of actions that harm others. Vandalism could be reduced if parents were required to pay for damages done by their children on public and private properties.

Writing Feedback / Identify what are the most important features of an ideal community and why they are important? [10]

A new essay! Please read and express your opinion! Thank you!

The Ideal Community

Good school, public transportation, police protection, and the appearance of a neighborhood, all may exist together in one place, but I have not find that place yet. The qualities of a community are significant and represent priorities in selecting one. While some people prefer communities with good schools and police protection, others like better public transportation and good appearance of the zone. Good schools have high expectations of what students could do, and belief that all children could learn. Also, high-quality neighborhood represents a safe and quiet area. A good neighborhood and schools are the most important to be consider for an ideal community.

The appearance of a neighborhood is essential and confers a sense of safety in community. A quiet vicinity offers peace and relaxing time. After a long and hard working day, everyone hopes to find the home, an enjoyable space. For example, watching TV or having diner with the family represent moments of relaxing. In addition, a region without too many police cars roaming, represent a safety place. However, the fights in the neighbor's houses or between neighbors create a tension atmosphere. When I moved to California, a friend of mine rented a house for my family. The rent was cheap because the neighborhood was awful. Every hour, the police car's siren, could be heard. Also, my neighbor fought on the street almost every day. I moved from that area after a short time. Now, my house is in a pleasant place. I have been living here for ten years. People are polite and respect each other. I can hear them talking on the street. Good appearances of the neighborhood create a safety atmosphere in the community.

Another quality for an ideal community is to have good schools. Excellent schools have students who are strongly motivated for learning. Outstanding students' performances require many hours of study. As a result, students concerning in learning, have no time for fighting on the street. A good school has hired only high qualified teachers. This is a guarantee that the teachers use the best method and enough resources. Likewise, students are more confident because teachers make them to believe in their abilities. In an ideal community, the schools have a beneficial community support, too. For example, parents can ask and support after school programs. Their children have opportunity to learn things that are not in school curriculum. Also, parents donate money for school because it is an investment in students' education. Good schools represent a warranty for a high-quality community.

Both, good school and the appearance of a neighborhood, symbolize the ideal community. Safe neighborhood and community support promises a peaceful area where students can achieve great performances. In addition, people prefer to move around good schools because represent a warranty for a good neighborhood. A community with good school, public transportation, police protection, and the appearance of the neighborhood is hard to be found. Many communities have just one or two of these qualities and people take that advantage to consider their community, as an ideal once.

Writing Feedback / CBEST: The Age of Invention [6]

A new topic and a new essay from CBEST serial. Thank you for all feedback.

The Age of Invention

The twentieth century will probably be remembered not only as a century with two world wars, but also as The Age of Invention because of the many technological advances that have been made. My life was completely changed during those years. I now have a different lifestyle than fifty years ago. I could argue that, even if I were just to consider computers. Computers are now used at work, at home, and almost everywhere else.

At work, my life as a teacher has become easier; because I can use the computer to track information about my students: their names, addresses, phone numbers, grades, and more. Five years ago, I needed to contact a family to inform about bad grades that their child got it. The student's information was incomplete, but with my class computer I could find his parents' phone number. Class activities are now more attractive. On line lessons and demonstrations help students to understand better the topic. The results have been seen in their grades and the quality of our schools, today. Tests and quizzes are easy to be created on line using multiple resources. Sometime, I like to use the computer lab to administrate on line, a quiz or a test. Students and I discover that irresistible because the results appear in seconds. Moreover, the wrong answers come back with explications and that help students a lot. My life as a teacher has been made considerably easier by the use of a computer.

At home, my family life has been made easier, also. With the computer, money and bank accounts are simple to manage. Today, all bills are possible to be paid from home, using the computer. Moreover, I have total control on my credit cards. Internet offers the chance to connect with friends and other persons. Face Book and My Space are just two web pages where people can meet, and share their hobbies, for example. As a result, I found many friends using these two web pages. Beside, my wife has her own web page, which was created by me. Through that page, her clients can make an appointment or check when she is available for a massage. Also, she uses her webpage for advertising. Now all my family members are using their own computers at home for shopping, for news, and more. In addition, all my appliances were ordered over the Internet. Therefore, my life at home is easier now than it was twenty years ago.

Computers are used in all sorts of places. Movie industry uses the computers to create modern cartoons for kids. In the past, for a cartoon, were necessary a lot of pictures drawn by hand. It took too many days to create just one movie. Today, with the computer help, the cartoon movies are created and ready to broadcast fast. The computer simulation helps meteorologists to understand and predict the weather. Hurricanes' paths are calculated in advance. If there is any danger, people are evacuated. For example, many lives were saved in hurricane Katrina's case. Also, computers are used in airports for traffic control. These, help controllers to schedule each airplane for arrival or departure without collisions. Every minute, the monitors keep passengers informed about their fly. Likewise, with the computer help, the airplanes are safeties transportation. Our life has been made easier, when computers are used.

Everything today is possible because of the many technological advances made in the twentieth century. Every new technology has become part of our life now. Today, many teenagers cannot concept the world without all discoveries of last century. Life is easier nowadays than it has been in the past. Computers, together with many other recent inventions, have radically changed my life.

Writing Feedback / CBEST: If you could be any age that you wanted to be, what age would you choose? [2]

A new CBEST essay. Please advise! Thank you!

Topic: If you could be any age that you wanted to be, what age would you choose? In a composition, identify the age you consider to be ideal. Support your position with specific reasons and example.

21 Years Old

Each stage of life is interesting and I would like to go back in time to live again starting with childhood. If I could be any age I could choose, I would like to be 21 years old. The younger stages of life are beautiful; because everybody has dreams about their own future. At the age of 21, anybody is ready to choose a direction for their own life. All the years in our lives are important for our lifetime, but I believe that the age of 21 is the most important.

The first reason I would like to be 21 years old is because at that age I became an adult. I decided to go to University to become a math teacher. I remember vividly, and would like to relive the moments when I filed the application for the University with a major in mathematics. For me it was a very important moment in my life. At that moment I decided my life's direction and that meant I had become an adult.

The second reason that I would like to be 21 years old is because I would like to retake the exam for admission to the math department. It was very difficult to compete, with more than three students competing for a single admission space. I took and passed this difficult exam. After I received the results, I was very happy and I celebrated my success with my family and friends. I love formidable challenges; and at the age of 21 I had met with one and overcame it.

Finally, but not lastly, I would like to be 21 years old, because it was in that year that I decided to get married. My wedding was beautiful. It took place at a church in the morning and in the afternoon I celebrated my wedding at a restaurant. I invited a lot of friends and everything was wonderful. For this reason, I would like once again to be 21 years old.

I consider 21 to be the ideal age for life. At this age, I made some of the biggest decisions of my life. I had dreams that have now become reality. I would like to be 21 years old now.