Writing Feedback / In the educational system of Japan, individual work has always had a higher value when learning [2]

I'm practicing writing some essays for TOEFL. Please give some feedback for me.

Some people prefer to work in groups on projects, while other people prefer to work alone. What are the advantages of each, and which do you prefer? Use details and example to support your response.

In educational system in Japan, individual work had a higher value when learning, but recently group work is becoming the new trend of teaching because cooperation is necessary in most working environment. From my personal experiences of working, I prefer to work in groups because projects I have to complete can progress much faster. However, each type of working has its own advantages.

One of the advantages of individual work is that there is no hindrance while working. Group working needs some time-consuming process of a distribution of roles. The distribution of roles always spends a lot of time before getting a project started. In addition, group working often causes conflicts over other's ideas or opinions within a group. When I work in a group, some different ideas and opinions always interfere with making decision then deter the progression of projects. So individual work may go smoothly without any conflicts.

Though there are some advantages of individual work, there are some even more compelling advantages of working in a group. We can divide responsibilities of work. For example, if we work on a 20 page assignment with 5 group members, we can divide 5 pages for each. This saves a lot of time even if it takes a lot of time to distribute roles. Moreover, it is true that some arguments often happen when working in a group but such arguments are great opportunities that help enhance the outcomes of projects or sometimes help break through mediocrity. Working in a group looks like a time-consuming process but actually effective and efficient way of working.

In summary, group work is better than working individually. When I carry out the project in my work place, it always goes well by working in a group. I believe that working in a group is a key to success in most of the work place.

Writing Feedback / Some people say that words have stronger power than actions [2]

Please feel free to give me your feedback and corrections.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Actions speak louder than words.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your response.

Some people say that words have stronger power than actions because there are numerous proverbs and sayings that have been said from ancient time. I believe, however, actions are more important than words. Therefore, I agree with the statement. Now, I'm going to mention three reasons for that.

It is true that proverbs and sayings have influenced people in a variety of ways. However, such words themselves don't have any power because those words can be convincing only when people experience the situation that make the words meaningful. For example, people who have a lot of free time might not understand the conception of "Time flies". They would think that time goes slowly. Namely, people need to have experience to be aware of the actual meaning of the word.

It's easy to say something great, but difficult to convince others. The foremost Japanese baseball player, Ichiro, has also left a lot of impressive messages. The reason why his words are so impressive is that he has acted what he always says. I can say the same words as Ichiro, but no one believes me because my behaviors are not correlated with the words. In other words, actions are necessary factors to make the words forcible.

From my personal experience as a teacher, Actions is very important for teachers to be accountable; you should act as you want students to act. No matter how you strictly tell students to clean the room, students wouldn't clean the room if your room were messy. On the contrary, if teachers clean a room hard, the students would clean it without teachers saying anything. Therefore, showing actions is more effective than saying.

In conclusion, though words like proverbs and sayings seem to have strong power to convince people, they only play complemental roles of people's actions. Additionally, thorough my experience, I'm always successful as a teacher when I show students how to do before saying. As a result, I am for the opinion, "actions speak louder than words."

Writing Feedback / The sport is separated into two groups; a team sport or an individual sport [2]

Some people prefer to play team sports, while others prefer to play individual sports. Discuss the advantages of each. Then indicate which you prefer and why.



The Olympics is going to take place in Tokyo in 2020. Baseball and karate will take place as official Olympic events after the long heated discussion. Those two sports are separated into two groups; team sport or individual sport, respectively. Both team sports and individual sports are very popular around the world. However, I prefer team sports rather than individual sports. Because I have done both sports, I'm well aware of the advantages of both sports. I'd like to mention my opinion from both points of view.

The first point I'd like to mention is that there are some advantages of individual sports. Unlikely team sports such as baseball and soccer, most individual sports do not need large space. Also, most of them can be done both indoors and outdoors. Namely, we can enjoy individual sports even if there are not spacious places and also if the weather is bad. Therefore, we can play or practice almost anywhere and anytime. Moreover, individual sports don't create a person who is the main cause of the defeat. In team sports, the mistake of one of the players can cause the defeat of the game. On the other hand, players themselves have to be responsible for their result of matches in individual sports.

Though there are a lot of advantages of individual sports, there are more compelling advantages of the team sports. Most importantly, players can share the delight of their achievements with their teammates. In my personal experiences of coaching a baseball team, when my students win a game, they are very delighted, and even cry for a joy putting their arms on each shoulder. That is the most moving moment for me as a coach. The stronger the teamwork is, the greater the sensation they have.　It is a special feeling that we can't experience in individual sports. Furthermore, team sports can help develop social skills. For a team to perform well, creating a good atmosphere is necessary because it always leads to better results. When the players, however, cannot maintain good relationship within a team, their performance would be lowered. Therefore players learn how to have better communication, how to develop relationship and how to collaborate with others through playing team sports.

In conclusion, though there are a lot of advantages of individual sports, team sports have more advantageous aspects. Through my experience in both sports, the abilities that I acquired and the sensation that I experienced in team sports are more valuable up to now. If I started sports now, I would choose team sports.