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Posts by anabel
Name: Anabel Sabella
Joined: Feb 7, 2017
Last Post: Feb 8, 2017
Threads: 3
Posts: 4  

Displayed posts: 7
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anabel   
Feb 8, 2017
Writing Feedback / The process of producing cement and making concrete which is raw material from cement for building [4]

Cement and Concrete Production

Writing IELTS Task 1

The diagrams show the process of producing cement and making concrete which is raw material from cement for building purpose.

The first step of cement production is passing limestone and clay through a crusher that produces a powder. The powder is moved into the mixer. After mixing process, the product pass into rotating heater which is rotated with heat. The mixture goes out from rotating heater then pass into the grinder. The last process of the mixture, that is called the cement, is packed into bags.

The process of concrete production begins composite from cement (15%), water (10%), sand (25%), and gravel. The gravel is small stones, which is the amount of a half from total materials. The mixture material passes into a concrete mixer, then rotated so that all mixed into one.

As mention above, the process of cement takes longer than concrete. Cement production requires heat in the process. Meanwhile, the production of concrete requires cement and other materials.



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anabel   
Feb 8, 2017
Writing Feedback / Being a man or a woman makes diffrence whether or not people can be excluded from a job [12]

Hi..
I would like give you the suggestion for improving your essay

First of all, members of one gender can be more qualified for a job than those of the other sex in a broader sense, but in this flexible world (world,) we can encounter extraordinary exceptions. For example, politics is usually deemed to be male-dominated (a male-dominated) area

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase in this flexible world. Consider adding a comma.
The noun phrase male-dominated area seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.


Thank you
anabel   
Feb 8, 2017
Writing Feedback / It's popular for teenagers to travel or to work for a year before studying into next level [7]

Hi...
I would like give you the suggestions for improve your essay

First, I think young people apply (apply for) a part-time job or take a trip around the world or in domestic. The phrase following the intransitive verb apply seems to be missing a preposition. Consider adding one.

Some young people are exploited by employers without being aware of or even involve in some illegal events due to the difference of (difference in) each country. It appears that of is not the right preposition to use in this context. Consider changing it.

Thank you
anabel   
Feb 7, 2017
Writing Feedback / Total School Spending in the United Kingdom during three separate decades [3]

analysis of the pie charts - Ielts task



The pie charts described the percentage of school spending in the United Kingdom during 3 separate decades: 1981, 1991, and 2001. Teacher's salaries dominate expenditure of schools spending and Insurance always be a small part of every decade.

Percentage of teacher's salaries increased to a half of total spending in 1991 and has descended to 45% in 2001. Furniture and equipment fell dramatically from 15% to 5% and rose extremely in the amount of 18% for next ten years. Resources spent 15% of total budget, became to one-fifth on UK school budget in 1991, and descended just to 9% in 2001. Other workers' salaries continue to decline from 28% to 22% or almost one-fifth part of total expenditures, and the last became 15%. In contrast to other workers'salaries, insurance has increased every decade, although it is not very significant. It began from 2%, rose 1%, and became 8% or almost one-tenth in 2001.



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anabel   
Feb 7, 2017
Writing Feedback / A healthy lifestyle or dependence on doctors and medicines? Writing task 2 IELTS [6]

Hi
I would like give you suggestions for your essay

It is known that a few vegetables contains (contain) vitamin B, furthermore, the people could consumpt (consume) the vitamin from other sources to meet a daily requirements (daily requirements).

The singular verb contains does not appear to agree with the plural subject a few vegetables. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

The word consumpt is not in our dictionary. If you're sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun requirements in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.


Thank you
anabel   
Feb 7, 2017
Writing Feedback / Topic about different standard for performance of male and female [5]

Hi..
I would like give you suggestion for your essay.

... female performance and it unintentional (unintentionally) creates a barrier for women and limit (limits) their ability.

The adjective unintentional is modifying creates instead of a noun or pronoun. Use an adverb to modify a verb, adjective, or other adverb.

It appears that the subject pronoun it and the verb limit are not in agreement. Consider changing the verb.


Thank you
anabel   
Feb 7, 2017
Writing Feedback / The pie chart describe the degradation of agricultural land productivity in the worldwide. [6]

Writing IELTS Task 1_Causes of Worldwide Land Degradation

soil quality is decreasing



The pie chart described the degradation of agricultural land productivity in the worldwide. Coverage areas are North America, Europe, and Oceania. In the world, Over-grazing became the biggest cause, it contributes 35% of total causes. The cutting or burning of the tree (deforestation) caused three-tenth of degradation. Twenty-eight percent has caused by over-cultivation. There was just 7% by others.

Five percent land of North America has decreased the quality of the soil. Over-cultivation was a major role, that was equal to 3.3%. Other causes were 1.5% from over-grazing and 0.2% from deforestation. Almost one-fourth of total land in Europe has degraded. Europe had the biggest percent of land degradation. Approximately 10% (exactly 9.8%) land degraded by cutting or burning of the tree. Over-cultivation and over-grazing are each 7.7% and 5.5%. The last region is Oceania, including Australia and New Zealand. In this region, just deforestation and over-grazing, each amount of 11,3% and 1,7%.



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