Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by Mimi123
Name: Kim Uyen
Joined: Aug 14, 2017
Last Post: Sep 18, 2017
Threads: 4
Posts: 6  
Likes: 1
From: Viet Nam
School: University of Economics

Displayed posts: 10
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Mimi123   
Sep 18, 2017
Writing Feedback / More and more factories are being built to serve for the massive production of large enterprises. [2]

Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of building a large factory.



A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory and why?

Nowadays, more and more factories are being built to serve for the massive production of large enterprises. Together with certain advantages related to the economy, the most concerned disadvantage is that it would cause detrimental impact to the environment. In this essay, I will discuss both benefits and withdrawals of building a new factory.

The huge advantage of having a factory in the community is the creation of jobs for local people. The construction of the factory requires a big number of labors in the short time. After that, they need to hire both skilled and unskilled labor in order to run the factory, which create lots of job in the long time. This would probably promote the development of regional economy. Besides, when jobs are created, people will earn more money and their living standard will increase, which benefit the society.

However, environmental pollution is the biggest problem concerning the factory. Many factories in my countries violate the rule of protecting the surrounding environment and do not follow strictly the process of waste treatment. For example, they often pump the waste into water or emit the factory emission into the air. Those activities result in detrimental impacts to the environment, polluting the air and leading thousands of marine animals to fatal death.

If a factory were to be built in my community, I would strongly oppose to that plan. The fact that factory would pollute the surrounding area probably outweigh all the benefits related to it. Without protecting the environment, the economy cannot develop sustainably. Besides, people in my community have to breath the polluted air and eat fishes from contaminated river, which put the health of the whole community under threat.

To summarize, running a factory brings about certain advantages such as creating more jobs and developing regional economy, but it also raises the problem of protecting the environment. In my opinion, it is clear that the detrimental effects of related to the factory would outweigh its benefits.
Mimi123   
Sep 16, 2017
Writing Feedback / Essay about whether university students must pay all tuition fees [4]

I personally think that your essay is well-organized and smooth.

The only thing I don't feel comfort is that your conclusion is too long. When I read that I think you are in a rush to finish the essay on time.

It's right that you summarize your viewpoints in conclusion but it should be split into several sentences to be clear and, as far as I remember, the opening and ending paragraph should be 2-3 sentences.
Mimi123   
Aug 25, 2017
Writing Feedback / Internet made a lot of changes in how we search for and spread information [4]

@ruanriying
I really like your argument because it's straight, simple and effective. You did not use long sentence, wide range of vocabulary or difficult grammar, which I don't not whether your score is deceased or not, but your content make up for that part really well. I seem that you just wrote out what you thought and made it become essay without much effort. It's really interesting.
Mimi123   
Aug 20, 2017
Writing Feedback / Salary must be consider top priority in choosing a job. Do you agree or disagree with this statement [3]

importance of money in a new job



Some people believe that salary must be the top priority in choosing career, while others argue that there are other factors that are more important than having a lot of money. In my opinion, although money is always crucial for us, there are circumstances that seeking for a job with high salary is not a good idea, and there are other elements that should be considered first.

To begin with, it is not always wise to look for a job with high salary because you might not qualify for that job. Companies that offer a huge amount of money usually seek for candidates that pose great professional skills or many year experience. Most of the time, the number of people who are qualified enough to pass the interview is fewer than the number of people who are not. Hence, keep searching for these high salary jobs while you do not pose excellent skills is not a good way to start your career. I've seen lots of students looking for a job with high salary right after they graduated from universities, and most of them got rejected.

In addition, there are other elements that I believe to be more important than a good salary. These are working environment and promotion policy. A good working environment includes professional working space, opportunity to learn and develop your skills, experience different tasks and build up your career. Besides, promotion policy is considered a crucial factor for people who seek for long term goals in their jobs. Those people do not simply satisfy working as a normal employee, but always working hard to get promoted and achieve success. Therefore, in this situation, a job with good salary is not as important as a job with good promotion policy.

In conclusion, there are number of factors that affect the decision of choosing a job. Although high salary is often considered crucial element, I believe it is not the top priority.
Mimi123   
Aug 16, 2017
Writing Feedback / Methods of measuring learning in educational settings [5]

@chocuatt
Hi,
I think that you have good viewpoints, but the order of the each paragraph is not really clear.
I suggest the outline should be: Opening => Advantages of exams => Dis advantages => Your personal opinion and suggestions => Ending.
By this way, each viewpoint will be further discussed and that makes the essay more persuasive.
Hope my comment useful for you.
Mimi123   
Aug 15, 2017
Writing Feedback / A permanent job and work under same company for the whole life [3]

IT IS UNREALISTIC TO WORK FOR ONLY ONE COMPANY FOR YOUR WHOLE LIFE => AGREE OR DISAGREE

doing the same job permanently



Job decision is one of the most important decisions we make in our lives. Some people wish to have a permanent job and work under same company for their whole lives. Others just love to experience different positions in different places because they are fond of changes. Although I believe that changing job is an interesting idea, working for only one company year years is certainly not unrealistic.

Firstly, it would be more secured if you do not change your job often. Nowadays, thousands of people lose their jobs or cannot find one. If you give up your current job without having got accepted to work for another company, you would probably bear the risk of being unemployed. In case that you have successful applied for a new job, it is still not certain that you could work well and adapt to the new environment. Therefore, lots of people are working under only one company in their lives because it is a safe option.

Secondly, a number of companies adapt the seniority system, which means that they have special treatment for long term employees. For example, a higher rate of pension, higher salary or promotion every few years... In general, you will be given more advantages if you have more time working for the company. This type of reward is widely used in Asian countries, such as Japan, Korea. In Japan, people do not have the tendency to work for different companies because it is hard to find a job, and the benefit of seniority system is really significant.

To look at the problem with a different perspective, one of the greatest disadvantages of working permanently in the same company is definitely boredom. After all, all decision is a trade-off. If you are looking for a long-term job, boredom is inevitable. If you always seek for opportunities to learn different things, do not hesitate to change.
Mimi123   
Aug 15, 2017
Writing Feedback / [Toefl] It is crucial for youngsters to have the planning and organizing skills. [4]

@Katthew Kim
These are a few comments for you and I hope it is helpful.
Firstly, the opening paragraph is not really smooth (with both sentence construction and they way you use your words)
Secondly, the points you made in the essay is ok but you should have a deeper look inside your argument and strengthen it.
Lastly, I found it weird that you use the world "CHILDREN" referred to "YOUNG PEOPLE" in the topic.
Mimi123   
Aug 15, 2017
Writing Feedback / Foods preparation methods. I really appreciate if you can help me out with my essay [4]

Hi Chocuatt,

I think it is an interesting topic and you have some good points to prove your opinion. For example, being able to cook well has always been one of the norm for choosing family partner is Asian countries.

However, you need to change your structure just as Holt mentioned above. I suggest you make 2-3 paragraphs to explain your opinion:
Para 1: Traditional food is fresher and healthier than convenience one => People nowadays are shifting their eating habit from convenience to nutrient.
Para 2: Traditional food plays an integral part in Asian family => Traditional meal is a culture, men tend to love women who can cook well
Para 3: You can list out advantages of fast food and state that it brings us lots of benefits as well, besides traditional food.

Good luck.
Mimi123   
Aug 14, 2017
Writing Feedback / IT IS BETTER TO SPEAK WELL RATHER THAN TO WRITE WELL IN OUR WORK/LIFE [3]

verbal skills evaluation



There have been some discussions about the important of speaking skills over writing skills. As far as I am concern, each of these skills plays a crucial role in our life, but if I should choose one skill whose advantages are more likely to overweigh the other, I would say that it is communication skill.

First, when you meet someone for the first time, the way you speak is really important in making the impression. Most people believe that how you speak partly reveals who you are. If you first speak to someone and you speak clearly and fluently, you will leave a good impression on him. Or else, he might end up thinking that you are not an interesting person, and that will affect the relationship between you and that man later.

Second, if you are able to speak well, you have more chances to develop your social relationships. When people first meet new friends, they tend share their interests or attitude towards things, and those with the same interests make friends together. Therefore, being able to communicate well means that you enlarge your social relationships. With my personal experience, I have never seen someone with a good interpersonal skill that has just a few friends.

Last but not least, people who are good at speaking are more likely to be successful at work. Generally speaking, all jobs require communication as a basic skill. For example, every day you must work with a lot of partners, discuss with your boss, even you have to negotiate with partners from another company. Hence, speaking skill is crucial to your career. It does not only help you get along with your partners but also achieve specific goal in your job.

To sum up, both speaking and writing skills are truly important in our daily lives as well as our jobs. Although I believe that being able to speak well seem to be more helpful than writing well, we should attempt to manage and master both skills.
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