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Posts by Kim Truong
Name: Kim Dung Truong
Joined: May 28, 2018
Last Post: Jun 24, 2018
Threads: 3
Posts: 4  
Likes: 1
From: United States of America
School: Mira Mesa High School

Displayed posts: 7
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Kim Truong   
Jun 24, 2018
Writing Feedback / IELTS - The digital and traditional newspapers [6]

Your essay is good at focusing on the topic and expressing your opinion. In my opinion, rather than analyzing both point of view, your essay will be more persuasive if you choice one option and convince the reader why your view is better than another.
Kim Truong   
Jun 9, 2018
Writing Feedback / Knowledge gained from personal experience or from books and other printed material; which is better? [4]

compare and contrast knowledge



Prompt: compare and contrast knowledge gained from personal experience with knowledge gained from books or other printed material. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why?

There are two main types of obtaining knowledge: by real-life experiences and through printed materials. The different ways of learning generate no shortage debate about which one is better. In my individual opinion, it is more advantages to learn directly from experiences than books. I feel this way for two major reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.

First of all, books are not always accurate and often contradict with what we experience from the real world. This is because a book can be written by unqualified authors and also contain their personal opinion or their biased eyes. My own experience in the US is a compelling example of this. Being a pre-immigrant to the US, I acknowledge that US citizens are not friendly and hard to have a conversation. When I moved to the US, my point-of-view change completely. Not only be generous, my neighbors are also kind and helpful. They help our family assimilate the new life and even teach us basic English statements to order food or buy groceries. Furthermore, we usually start our day with several sweet greeting.

Secondly, real-life experience tends to stay with us longer than printed information. Books are shelved and forgotten about shortly after we read them. Once I had an assignment about growing a little green bean tree, I collected all information from different sources including books, Internets, articles. In spite of many efforts to follow all strict rule of growing this tree, my result was not good as what I expected. Fortunately, when I consult my grandfather, he taught me a valuable lesson which I encountered in several pages of a book is that overly water or fertilize might harm the growth of the tree. What I learned from my grandfather about techniques, methods, and skills are burned into my memory and I will never forget it. This is because I had a practical experience rather than temporary theoretical information.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that knowledge gained from experience is more important than one from reading. This is because books are sometimes inaccurate, and we are predisposed to remember our personal memories longer.
Kim Truong   
Jun 9, 2018
Writing Feedback / Should government be fully responsible for the underprivileged people? [7]

You are highly skillful at word choice and also convince the reader successfully. Your essay provides an adequate background information, strong thesis statement, and clear topic sentence.

Besides, in my individual opinion, there are some points that I think will make your essay more persuasive:
The second and the third paragraph also contain the same meaning so that it will be better if you combine them into a paragraph.
"be responsible for + doing something/ someone " is more accurate.
Kim Truong   
May 31, 2018
Writing Feedback / How Well Do You Think Standardized Tests Measure Student's Abilities? [3]

Method of Verification and Evaluation knowledge level



Education has two main functions: educating young people and equipping them with valuable skills for adulthood. But nowadays, more and more people are in a quandary whether or not standardize scores as an optimum measurement of knowledge. These are two major reasons that illustrate scoring is not an effective way to measure student performance.

To begin with, scores do not present equality among students. For example, those who have a difficulty with a stress environment might struggle when they have a test and the result in skipping multiple questions that they might easily choose the correct answers. Consequently, they get a C instead of deserving an A on the exam. On the other hand, their friends who only draw the answer spontaneously with 25% correct answer probability receive an A because of luck rather than their own ability. Therefore, measurement one's performance by scores is an inaccurate method.

Secondly, overly concern about grades also generates negative effects on both young people and their educator. Some students desiring to achieve high scores without focusing during class and studying hard tend to use bad alternative ways such as cheating or copying their next neighbors. Not only affect the student, chasing to grades also harms teacher true mission. A travesty of education is that several instructors measure their student's ability not by the knowledge they master but the amount of money in their parent's pocket. The more bribes they receive, the more scores are increased.

While we weigh the drawbacks of scoring in the educational atmosphere, it is safe to say that this method is not the beneficial way to present one's knowledge. Not only reflect the inequality, grades also create many grievous problems for both the trainer and the trainee. In my individual opinion, schools can evaluate student's ability by different projects or assignments.
Kim Truong   
May 29, 2018
Writing Feedback / Ielts writing task 2 - eating local food or food from other regions [4]

Because I am a reading, not a professional writer so I just comment on my point-of-view. Your thesis statement is effective so that I can predict what you are going to talk about. But if you expand your conclusion wider, your essay will be more persuasive.
Kim Truong   
May 28, 2018
Writing Feedback / Do we need to require sport in school curriculum? [3]

participation in sports during education



A school has two main functions: educate young people and equip them with essential skills for adulthood. These days, several parents generate a debate that whether or not the curriculum require sport as a part of a compulsory subject. Some people claim that doing sport in school flitter time and are not as useful as math or reading; the others believe that students take many benefits from playing soccer, baseball, basketball, etc. Sport is not only improved physical health but also promote mental clarity.

Sport is a key leading to healthy life. A high schooler who attend physical education class is three times more likely be stronger and healthier than one do not. Hitting the gym, playing soccer or running mean we have to spend an amount of energy to keep our body work properly. Moreover, more and more doctors encourage teenagers to play sport in order to bolster their height and reduce risks of diabetes.

Another advantage of sports is that providing youth opportune metal health. After a stressful day, playing sports consider as a physical treatment to reduce stress. Furthermore, if a high schooler takes part in sports clubs, he will be able to make some friends. According to a recent study, young people who take sports classes master critical thinking skill, work well with other people, and adapt to every condition.

Although there are disagree opinion about offering participation in sports as a part of the curriculum, we cannot deny the advantages of taking part in physical education classes. Sports help teenager maintain health and also aggrandize mental clarity.
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