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Posts by Bubba
Joined: Sep 29, 2009
Last Post: Jun 21, 2013
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Posts: 13  

Displayed posts: 13
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Bubba   
Jun 21, 2013
Writing Feedback / 'Thank you God for those gifts' - friendship essay [11]

Thankful god for those gifts in our life, friends like a breath

Thank God for the gifts in our life. Friends are the breath of life.

Maybe something like that? Make sure you capitalize properly.
Bubba   
Jun 21, 2013
Essays / your personal TIPS FOR ACT ESSAY [4]

I remember my ACT. The writing section was a pain. Make sure you brainstorm and develop ideas before writing, then write with a flow as if you are talking. But absolutely, at the end make sure to thoroughly read your paper to see if it contains that fluidity you thought it had. It is a whole lot different when you read it back. Good luck

-bubba
Bubba   
Jun 21, 2013
Dissertations / PhD topic in American studies / Literature criticism [8]

I've always been interested in how writing compares across different cultures. Philosophical books of America differ from books in Russia, such as the Brothers Karamazov.

Good luck!
Bubba   
Jun 20, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK1:Complain letter for wrong information on a product's AD [3]

Wow, well I thought it was very easy to read and it got all of your points out without sounding barbaric. I was not sure what IELTS was until I looked it up and was surprised that you are not a native English speaker. I would give it a high band (8.5-9). Sorry if I can really criticize it though. It sounded great to me.
Bubba   
Jun 20, 2013
Essays / My father's estate -Descriptive essay/ Need help [7]

Do you mean your father's home? What about if you try to describe it sort of like you are taking someone on a tour then start talking about memories regarding the estate?

I think that might be a good start.
Bubba   
Jun 20, 2013
Scholarship / Women in science/ BlackBerry mobile Computing Scholarship [3]

First of all, I thought that was very well written. I am interested the same field as you, but I am a guy so it is interesting reading a piece from a girl when they only make up such a small portion of the field. What I would change though would probably be the way you present yourself. For example, you take a sympathetic approach to the scholarship stating that you are in financial need. As true as that could be, I am sure everyone applying for it is in the same place as you so maybe you could state that while all other applicants would like the scholarship, you feel that you really deserve it because it would fuel your passion even further to get into the computer science as a female. In my program, there are literally a handful of girls so you can use that as an advantage when you write.

Other than that, maybe throw in some personal examples of personal hobbies. You cook and like music but what is an important example of you appreciating your hobby and could you, perhaps, make it connect to your interest in computer science?

Overall, it was a great read and good luck!

I'm here to help,
Bubba
Bubba   
Oct 3, 2009
Writing Feedback / Not only should we search for a high grade, but also a future of further education. [4]

Do grades really encourage students to learn and guarantee a qualified education? It is hard to answer this question, but we do find a lot of shortages in this system. For example, for quite a number of students, it is more important to get a high or top grade than to hold the spirits(What?) of knowledge. It is not that these students are not motivated. It is just that they are not motivated to learn as much as they are motivated(What?) to get good grades. It is a mistake that the system does not lead students to the true purpose of education. What is worse! Many students get used to remembering the answers in the books, but not to thinking themselves.

Anyone who cares for grademost always miss something important but not on exams . In my university, lots of my classmates just read the parts of a book that will appear in the test, and the rest will remain unknown . Is the rest useless? Of course not. In most colleges, in order to let the major(what?) pass the exam, teachers usually will not put the hardest parts in the test, even though these parts are usually the latest finding in this field. And if we missed these, it will be in trouble for our further education.

If we get used to this system, we may lose our interests in thinking ourselves . To some extent, high grade onlymean good memory and has nothing to do with the abilities of understanding and thinking. For top grade, students boil(what?) their lives to remember the endless answers of questions and have no time to think deeply. They usually remember the answers to the questions but do not understand why. It is the reason why so many people can get a high grade but not explain the problems.

In conclusion, grades do not encourage the students to learn in a correct way and many shortages do exist in this system. Not only should we search for a high grade, but also a future of further education.
Bubba   
Oct 3, 2009
Undergraduate / Anime (My essay to u-m) [15]

Do you mean "tried a PS3 game"? and "it influenced me a lot".
The thing is that you are chinese and as many errors as your paper may have, the admission officer will still know that you are still learning english so I dont thing he will judge it based on writing errors. But just try to make it flow better.

"It gave me much influence" is still understandable but "taste a PS3 game" makes no sense.

So, I hope you get into U of M!
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