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Posts by tinapakshad1
Name: tina
Joined: Jul 8, 2019
Last Post: Jul 24, 2019
Threads: 3
Posts: 5  
Likes: 2
From: Islamic Republic of Iran
School: kherad

Displayed posts: 8
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tinapakshad1   
Jul 24, 2019
Writing Feedback / Is it possible that cost of fuel can tackle the environmental pollutions? [3]

hi
there are just few opinions to make your essay better
first the structure and length of introduction was not enough.it was not completely understandable what is your opinion.
second you did not expand how enlarging the price of fuel will lead us to what we want.

thank you
tinapakshad1   
Jul 16, 2019
Writing Feedback / IELTS1:THE CHART SHOWS THE PERCENTAGE OF MALE AND FEMALE WHO WERE OVERWEIGHT IN AUSTRALIA 1980, 2010 [4]

the amount of unfit persons in australia



The diagram illustrates the proportion of people who excess weight for both genders in detail between 1980 and 2010 in Australia. Overally, it shows that the proportion of men who are overweight has been more than women in the 10 years. Moreover, it is recognizable that the number of female with the same attitude has been raising while males had a drop between 2000 and 2010.

The proportion of overweighed men started with 40 percent and reached to near 50 percent in 1990 and eventually make it to 65 percent in 2000.After this excess time, this proportion number went down to 60 percent in 2010. In comparison, the proportion of over weighted women has been always growing about 15 percent every 10 years from 1980 to 2000 and after that had a steady record for 10 years. As it can be seen, female unfit proportion number started with 30 percent in 1980 and reached to 55 percent in 2010.

In conclusion, it can be resulted that the amount of unfit women has moderately enlarged while men's record reveals a growth between 1980 to 2000 and a reducing trend in the next 10 years.




tinapakshad1   
Jul 16, 2019
Writing Feedback / IETLS WRITING TASK 1: Overweight Australian men and Women [3]

hi.i will just give you some hints to make your essay perfect:
1-try to go on more details.you did not tell the exact proportions or specific details about years between 200 and 2010.
2-in the first sentece you said women number were always more than females which is not correct.
3-make your essay longer to make sure it reachs to the amount of words they want from you.
goodluck
tinapakshad1   
Jul 14, 2019
Writing Feedback / IELTS task2: Nowadays people make new friends through social networks and internet chat groups. [8]

Are Internet friends real friends?



Nowadays people make new friends through social networks and internet chat groups. Some people think this is good. Others think that face-to-face interaction is essential. Discuss both views and give your opinion

It is a belief that meeting new people and building friendship with them is a risky way to make friends.in contrast there is another theory that disagrees with that and illustrates it is a good convenient way to encounter and be friend with people.in my view, virtual friends are the gifts of the electronic era we live in and we should use this opportunity well to gain more friendships in life.

In one hand, the only knowledge we know about people in social medium is the profile they have chosen to show us.so there is a good chance that many of that would be not true and people can easily manipulate us. There has been a lot of crimes committed with this virtual profiles and many people has been betrayed robbed and fooled. Therefore, it can be said that trusting people in the social networks is a risky choice and should be avoided.

In the other hand, it can be seen that in many cases virtual friends had made better friends in comparison to real ones. There are more available to chat and sometimes the chance of meeting a person that can understand us completely in real life is much lower than virtual world because of its availability and achievability .for example in a case that our person lives in another country that in real life we would never meet each other, by social medium we can be easily connected and spend time with each other.

In my point of view, not attending a task just because it is risky or not that much trust-able is not a good excuse. We can make good friends on the social network while we are looking after ourselves and be careful not to be fooled or betrayed.

In conclusion, it can be said that, although trusting people on the internet is a dangerous choice due to lack of trustworthy information about them, we can still make good friends and in my view we should never take this chance away ourselves.
tinapakshad1   
Jul 14, 2019
Writing Feedback / IELTS writing task 2: All jobs will be done by artificial intelligent robots eventually [3]

hiii
this was a quiet good essay but there were a few little errors that if you cover them that would make the best.
firstly your long sentences and using a verb more than twice is not a good way to go on with an essay.
secondly paraphrases were not accurately divided so the reader could get a little confused.
at the end i will say bravo to you again and wish you all the happiness in the world.
tinapakshad1   
Jul 8, 2019
Writing Feedback / Equal Distribution; there should be same chances for both genders to get post-graduate studies [5]

Title:

UNIVERSITIES SHOULD ACCEPT EQUAL NUMBERS OF MALE AND FEMALE STUDENTS IN EVERY SUBJECT



To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words

Some people believe there should be same chances for both genders to get post-graduate studies. The other group think that is an awful idea as number of boys are less than girls and with having equal-number rule, there won't be any free competition between participants.in my view there should be equal chances for both men and women to enter to universities.

Some scientists believe that we start to learn how to treat opposite sex and most of the times find our partners in universities so it is important to be equal number of both sex in the atmosphere that this education complete without any trouble. As we mention one trouble in this area we can say: If there are not enough of any of these two sex the other one will have problem in having chance to encounter or make relationships with it.

The other reason that make me think it is better to have equal number of girls and boys in universities I can say that it is not fear that many boys get lost in way of making money or there are some rules that some majors are dedicated more to boys and girls have less chance to enter. I believe we have to pass a law that claims every gender can enter in any major in equal numbers.

In conclusion, it can be said that chance of having post graduate studies should be distributed equally, As there would be chance for everyone to study whatever they like and learn how to have effective relationships with other sex or maybe find a good partner for life.